Ghost Roddy Piper Sketch (iO Theater Class Project)

INT. WEEKEND UPDATE NEWS DESK-NIGHT 

COLIN JOST sits at the news desk. 

COLIN 

World Wrestling Entertainment recently announced that they will use AI to write their scripts for their wrestling shows. Here to comment on this is the ghost of WWE Hall of Famer Roddy Piper. 

GHOST RODDY PIPER enters with his ENTRANCE THEME MUSIC playing. 

GHOST RODDY PIPER 

Howdy Colin, mighty nice to be here on Saturday Night Live. Here’s the thing. I don’t get why WWE needs to use AI to make matches. All I needed in my day to help me wrestle was a simple notebook, a pen, cocaine, and steroids. Can an AI do cocaine there Colin? 

COLIN 

I don’t know Mr. Piper. 

GHOST RODDY PIPER 

Here’s the thing, I seen AI make crazy videos. In fact, that’s the only thing airing on TV where I am at... 

COLIN 

Are you in Hell? 

GHOST RODDY PIPER 

No Cleveland, Ohio. Nah, I’m just messing with ya. But once you see an AI video of Macho Man Randy Savage as Mister Rogers on Facebook, you’ve already entered the seventh layer of Hell. But I can see why WWE would want to use AI to write their shows. Because an AI is just as heartless, soulless, and cold as any comedy writer. 

COLIN 

Wait, I’m a comedy writer and I have a soul. 

GHOST RODDY PIPER 

Do ya, Colin? Nah, I’m just messing with ya. Here’s the thing, first the AI will write the scripts, then it will make the matches altogether, wrestlers will then become unemployed. And when a wrestler is unemployed, they get angry. And you wouldn’t like a wrestler when they’re angry. 

COLIN 

Isn’t wrestling fake though? 

GHOST RODDY PIPER 

Not as fake as AI. But like AI, wrestling looks real and sometimes causes real harm. So the moral of the day is, oh no, I forgot the moral. And the cocaine is wearing off. But did ya hear that Lorne just announced that AI will write SNL sketches now? 

COLIN 

No way, that can’t be true because if it is I’m angry. 

GHOST RODDY PIPER 

Nah, I’m just messing with ya Colin. But knowing Lorne, he’s getting ideas. 

COLIN 

The ghost of Roddy Piper everybody! 

GHOST RODDY PIPER 

Just when you think they have all the answers, I change the questions. 

END

Bucky Butler: My Mind, My World

Collage Magic

 

WALLY GATOR LIVE ACTION TRAILER SKETCH (iO Theater Class Project)

EXT. ZOO-DAY 

WALLY GATOR enters smoking a cigar and holding a gun. 

ANNOUNCER (V.O.) 

Coming this summer. In a world where Disney live action remakes are the norm and DreamWorks live action remakes are coming, why can’t Hanna-Barbera get in the game? They’ll do it with, Wally Gator in live action. 

WALLY GATOR 

I’m back bitches! 

MR. TWIDDLE walks out and waves his finger at Wally Gator. 

ANNOUNCER (V.O.) 

Starring Danny DeVito as Mr. Twiddle. And Tracy Morgan as Wally Gator. 

MR. TWIDDLE 

Put the gun down Wally and get back in your cage. 

Wally Gator shoots Mr. Twiddle in the arm. 

WALLY GATOR 

How about no Mr. Twiddle. And you be thankful that I didn’t shoot you in the junk. 

Wally Gator chases Mr. Twiddle around in a circle. 

ANNOUNCER (V.O.) 

The New York Times says, really, they made a live action Wally Gator. The Chicago Tribune says, oh that’s based on that cartoon that airs on MeTV Toons at three in the morning. IGN claims, oh God, if they made this, they are going to make a live action Shrek for sure. And Rotten Tomatoes says, holy shit, someone actually listens to our reviews. 

Wally Gator corners Mr. Twiddle. 

MR. TWIDDLE 

Why Wally? Why are you doing this. This isn’t like you. 

Wally Gator aims his gun at Mr. Twiddle’s head. 

WALLY GATOR 

Because this movie is directed by Michael Bay. So it’s nothing but guns and boobies. Isn’t that right, Megan Fox. 

Megan Fox walks out holding a beer. 

MEGAN FOX 

That’s right, Wally. 

WALLY GATOR 

Damn right, I’m right, Megan. Now bring me that beer, bitch. 

ANNOUNCER (V.O.) 

Live action Wally Gator! Coming soon to a theater near you alongside more live action remakes of cartoon classics that nobody really asked for. But original ideas are scary! 

END

RFK FAST FOOD PYRAMID SKETCH (iO Theater Class Project)

INT. WHITE HOUSE: PRESS ROOM-DAY 

RFK JR. stands at a podium and taps a microphone. RFK Jr. clears his throat. 

RFK JR. 

(Raspy voice) 

Good morning America, I...excuse me for a second.... 

RFK Jr. clears his throat again and then takes a sip of water. RFK Jr. taps the microphone again. 

RFK JR. (CONT’D) 

(Normal speaking voice) 

Christ, sorry folks. I just got over a wicked cold. Sounded like I smoked a million Marlboros back there. Anyway time to announce the new food pyramid. With my good friends over at the fast food industry. 

COLONEL SANDERS, RONALD MCDONALD, THE BURGER KING, and WENDY walk out together and stand behind RFK Jr. 

RFK JR. (CONT’D) 

You see America, you need to eat more fats, meats, and diary. And these guys know a ton about fats, meats, and diary. Let my man Colonel Sanders speak on this important news. 

Colonel Sanders gives RFK Jr. a hug and then walks over to the microphone. 

COLONEL SANDERS 

Good evening all. Now Mr. Bobby Kennedy Jr. here is speaking the gospel. With these new health guidelines, and with some help from the fast food lobbyists, now it is recommended for you all to finally eat all the healthy fats that you want. Maybe, dare I even say, at your local KFC. Any questions? Yes, you miss, in the red shirt. 

FEMALE RED SHIRT REPORTER holds a notepad. 

FEMALE RED SHIRT REPORTER 

You all can’t be serious? How is eating more fast food going to make Americans healthier? 

Colonel Sanders waves his finger. 

COLONEL SANDERS 

No, no, no, we ain’t saying eat more fast food. We’re saying, eat more meats and fats. 

WENDY 

And diary, like a good cold Frosty at Wendy’s. 

Female Red Shirt Reporter shrugs. 

FEMALE RED SHIRT REPORTER 

Again, this doesn’t feel right. 

COLONEL SANDERS 

Next question, how about you sir in the back. 

MALE REPORTER holds his hand in the air. 

MALE REPORTER 

Hello, I’m with the Chicago Tribune. Mr. Ronald McDonald, how can you live with yourself by supporting Mr. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. when your beloved friend Grimace is autistic? 

Ronald McDonald taps Colonel Sanders and takes his place up at the podium. 

RONALD MCDONALD 

Grimace is indeed autistic and our good friend RFK Jr. is very close to curing him. And...oh God damn it! 

THE HAMBURGLAR sneaks into the press conference and steals a bag of McDonalds hamburgers and runs away. 

RONALD MCDONALD (CONT’D) 

Sorry folks, but The Hamburglar is up to his old tricks again. I got to go... 

Ronald McDonald chases The Hamburglar around the room. FEMALE RED SHIRT REPORTER gets up. 

FEMALE RED SHIRT REPORTER 

My next question is for the Burger King, you were clearly in the Epstein files. Explain yourself! 

Burger King hums “Creep” by Radiohead. Colonel Sanders taps his cane. 

COLONEL SANDERS 

I do declare, that is enough. How dare you say that our dear friend The Burger King is in the Epstein files. Be no better than saying that I...I will just cut myself off there. Bobby boy, get your...oh crap. 

A worm is sticking out of RFK Jr. ’s ear. 

RFK JR. 

Oh God, please stop making me do this Mr. Wormy! My family loves me you lying sack of... 

COLONEL SANDERS 

Damn it Bobby boy, have you ever seen a doctor bro? 

The worm goes back inside RFK Jr. ’s ear. 

RFK JR. 

Sorry Colonel, I, RFK Jr. and not that devilishly handsome, Mr. Wormy are in control of myself again. And, live from New York it’s Saturday night! 

END

Comics and Cousins: Childhood Memories of Being Creative with My Cousins

From elementary school to middle school, I didn’t really have many friends growing up. Partly due to my Autism and the fact I was very shy, my cousins AJ and Shane were my best friends growing up. Growing up my cousins and I loved being creative and to entertain people. I remember during sleepovers with my cousins, as we all hung out in the basement of my childhood home, we wrote and drew our own comic books. We even created our own comic book publisher named “That Spells Action Comics”, and we slowly started to build a shared universe of characters together. We weren’t very good artists and since we were kids, our humor wasn’t well defined yet. 

But it was just fun bonding with each other over comics. We created superheroes like The GreenSpeed and Super Dude. We created silly characters in our humor book “Silly Comics”, like Funky Monkey and Bear and Snake. One thing we collaborated that wasn’t a comic book, it was something magical. Quite literally, we wrote a fantasy book together called “The Warriors”. My cousin AJ drew illustrations for the book, I wrote the first chapter, and excluding chapters four through seven, I finished the rest of the book on my own. My cousin AJ wrote the second chapter on his own, and my cousin Shane wrote the third chapter on his own. Eventually, my cousins couldn’t finish the book with me though, but since it’s our book, they deserve credit no matter what. Besides comic books, my cousins and I made home movies together. I played Super Dude, and my cousin AJ played his sidekick Young One. I have to say though, our greatest legacy together is The Shekys. The Shekys were made up of Sheky 1 (Shane), Sheky 2 (AJ), Sheky 3 (Myself) and occasionally we bring in our older cousin Brock to play Sheky 4. It was our homage to The Three Stooges which my cousin AJ and I were really into at the time. 

We even loved to perform The Shekys live at family parties in front of relatives. But to be honest, we weren’t ready for prime time yet and as I grow older, I don’t quite remember those live shows at family parties. As my cousins and I got older, we kind of slowly began to grow a part. As time marched on, the sleepovers stopped and well, I’m slow to mature due to my Autism. 

Elsewhere, my cousins were moving on with their lives, finding love and living in the real world. Funny enough, we’re all still performing in our own ways. I perform improv with my improv group at Laugh Out Loud Theater in Schaumburg, IL. My cousin AJ moved to LA to pursue an acting career and is a stand-up comedian. Lastly, my cousin Shane occasionally posts videos of him doing Yo-yo tricks online. My cousin Shane even appeared on The Steve Harvey Show to show off his Yo-yo tricks. As for writing, I self-published a book of my own with some of the characters I created with my cousins. I’m currently writing to this day anyway I can. Be it screenplays, TV pilots or short stories. My cousin AJ still writes jokes and comedy sketches. Of course, we still stay in touch and see each other at family gatherings. We’re still close, but I do miss the bond we had in the past. But I’m just happy I’m still close with my cousins AJ and Shane today and that we still have a relationship. We may not be as close as we used to be, but we’re still definitely friends for forever.

Comic Strip Carl's Face Reveal!

Hello, I'm Comic Strip Carl and I review comic strips because why not! Here's what I look like below! What, you didn't know that I looked like this? What did you think I looked like some overweight white guy or something? Anyway that's me Comic Strip Carl right there below and I will be reviewing more comic strips very soon! Until then, please support your local newspaper and please remember to keep reading comics! I look so cute in this photo, with my one eye and pointy head! And with hands like these, I bet you're wondering how I could even hold a newspaper in to read these wonderful comic strips. Also, I'm likely not of this world but that's another story.