Bucky Talk: May 2024

Monday, May 20, 2024

I Recently Got A Milton Berle Joke Book And Here's Some Jokes That I Liked

After my local library's used book sale ended and they were giving the leftover books away for free, I found a vintage Milton Berle joke book. Here's some interesting jokes that I liked from the legendary comedian.

Earth Is A Zoo

"Hi, all you Orpods out there. You can't think of your next vacation? Why not hit up the best zoo in the universe, Earth! Earth has many wonderful kinds of creatures, both big and small. You'll get to have the experience of simulating the life of the silliest creature of all, the human! Tickets cost 20 Eac-stones for adults and children and seniors get in for free. Earth, visit us sometime. Funded by the Jillfax Corporation," a TV announcer said inside a satellite orbiting Earth. Zebs and Imbs work their shift as two security guards at the Earth Zoo. While Zebs is watching the security monitors, Imbs watches galactic TV. "Dude, look at monitor three," said Zebs. Imbs turns around to see a bunch of ZETA protestors heading up to Washington D.C. in a standoff with the US military. "Oh, those bloody ZETA members. The worst alien scum in the universe. You got this Imbs or you want me to take care of it?" asks Zebs. "Can you take care of it, I'm dying to know if Gorlock is the father or not," said Imbs.

Zebs sighs and grabs his laser gun, but before he could teleport himself to Earth, they get a call from the CEO of the Jillfax Corporation on all the monitors. "Calling all security guards of the Earth Zoo," said the CEO. "It's just the two of us, sir. Layoffs hit us hard the last quarter," said Zebs. "Either way, we're closing down the Earth Zoo after 100 million years in operation. Those ZETA protestors ruined everything. The Orpodian Military will rescue our customers before we launch our final attack," said the CEO. "We're unemployed now. How could this day get any worse?" asks Imbs.

Just then, there's a knock at the door. A human astronaut enters. "I'm with NASA and my military wanted me to tell you...," said the human astronaut. Zebs shot the human astronaut as Imbs makes his way over towards the escape pod. "Hurry up, we have to get out of here," said Imbs. Zebs slowly walks over to the human astronaut to see that he's bleeding purple blood. "Oh Glorr Cheese. I shoot an Orpod! I won't make it on the prison asteroid. Imbs, you can't tell...," cries Zebs. But Imbs flew off inside the only escape pod in the entire satellite. Warning sirens blare as the orbiting security satellite rapidly crashes into Earth thus destroying the entire planet. As the Orpodian Military fleets fly away with Orpod zoo visitors, Zebs floats forever in space next to the human astronaut he shot and a ZETA protestor for all eternity.

THE END