Scene F
FADE IN.
INT. BUCKY’S
BEDROOM-THE NEXT DAY
(BUCKY BUTLER, SPOTTY, SNAPPER THE SNAPPING TURTLE, AMY
SUPERSIZE, PELICAN KING, LOUIE LEPRECHAUN)
BUCKY BUTLER IS SITTING AT
HIS COMPUTER WITH WRITER’S BLOCK WHILE SPOTTY IS LYING ON HIS BED.
BUCKY BUTLER
I have nothing. I only have
two days left to write a sketch
and for once I don’t have any
ideas.
SPOTTY
How about you write a sketch
starring
me? I haven’t been in anything you’ve
written
lately. Wait, why haven’t I been
in anything
new lately?
BUCKY BUTLER
I have to write a four person
relationship scene. Think Bucky.
Wait a minute. Thinking. Spotty, I
got it!
SPOTTY
You’re going to write a sketch
starring
me?
BUCKY BUTLER
(LAUGHING) No! I use you all the
time.
SPOTTY
But not today or yesterday, in
fact I
haven’t been in a new story of
yours for
years. (NERVOUS) Do you still love
me, Dad?
BUCKY BUTLER
Spotty, remember how you said that if
I can think up a character I
created, he’ll
appear before me?
SPOTTY
Yeah, also since I know what your
thinking,
because I hear your thoughts
because I live
inside your head, I already know
what your
going to say.
BUCKY BUTLER
So you think it’s a good idea if
I think of
four of my characters and they perform
an
improv sketch right before my
eyes.
I just write down what I see and
thus I’ll
have a sketch.
SPOTTY
I think that’s a cool idea, but
maybe only
think up three characters because
I want to
perform in the improv sketch. I’m
funny.
BUCKY BUTLER
Too late!
SOUND: KNOCKING
SPOTTY
It looks like someone’s in
your closet.
SPOTTY OPENS THE CLOEST
DOOR AND PELICAN KING ENTERS LIKE A MAD MAN.
PELICAN KING
Could it be! That I the
deadly super villain
Pelican King has been
freed from my father’s
head. Finally a new place
to conquer.
SPOTTY
Seriously, you wanted Pelican
King?
He’s one of the lamest super
villains
you ever created. Plus, having the
powers
of a pelican is stupid.
PELICAN KING
My powers are not stupid. For that
I will use my pelican powers
against you.
SPOTTY
Go ahead “Mr. I Think A Guy In
Pelican Costume
Scares Superheroes”. Bring it on.
SOUND: KNOCKING
SPOTTY HEADS TO OPEN THE
CLOSET WHILE PELICAN KING IS TRYING TO STEAL STUFF FROM BUCKY BUTLER’S ROOM.
SPOTTY
And character number two is.
SPOTTY OPENS THE CLOSET
AND LOUIE LEPRECHAUN DANCES HIS WAY OUT OF THE CLOSET
SPOTTY
Seriously, Louie Leprechaun?
LOUIE LEPRECHAUN
Yes, lad, it be me,
Louie Leprechaun, the evil
villain from the Magic Wars
books.
SPOTTY
I wouldn’t say you’re the villain
of the Magic Wars books more so than
a second tier henchman character for
a
better villain in the books.
LOUIE LEPRECHAUN
Well, at least I get to be in an
improv
sketch, father chose me over you. He
must see something special in me.
BUCKY BUTLER
Actually, I just felt sorry for
you Louie. I haven’t used you for
anything in ages, so I thought I
throw
you a pity card.
Oh, I guess you just felt like I haven’t got
anything
better to do. Actually, I was invited to play golf with Flea-Boy the Clown, Atsushi
Ryota
and Kazuhiro Ryota. We would have probably
gotten
hammered after that. But I just decided to
come
here instead because I felt like I was
needed,
but since I wasn’t maybe--
SOUND: KNOCKING
SPOTTY
Alright, time for character number three!
SPOTTY OPENS THE CLOSET DOOR AND SNAPPER THE SNAPPING TURTLE ENTERS BUCKY’S BEDROOM
SNAPPER THE SNAPPING TURTLE
Whoa, cool bedroom. Nice posters.
It feels like you haven’t aged a
day,
Dad. Your room backs that up.
SPOTTY
Okay, first it was Pelican King,
and then Louie Leprechaun. Now
Snapper the Snapping Turtle? Why don’t
you want to use me again?
SNAPPER THE SNAPPING TURTLE
Can’t you hear what Dad is
thinking?
Now, he only needs a girl
character and
then our improv scene can begin.
SPOTTY
I can play a girl. It’s improv
I’ll
just wing it.
SOUND: VERY LOUD KNOCKING
SPOTTY
The final character is—
SPOTTY OPENS THE CLOSET TO
FIND AMY SUPERSIZE STUCK INSIDE IT.
SPOTTY
Amy Supersize. You couldn’t have
picked
a sexier female character?
AMY SUPERSIZE
I’m sexy. Now help me get out of here. I
think
my butt’s stuck in the door.
SPOTTY
Guys, can you help me get the
narwhal out
of the closet. Maybe one of you
grab a
harpoon?
AMY SUPERSIZE
You know once I’m out of here I’m
going to beat the snot out of you
puppy boy.
SNAPPER THE SNAPPING TURTLE
Spotty I wouldn’t piss Amy
Supersize off.
She’s the current KWE/BWC Women’s
Champion.
SPOTTY
Wrestling is fake, remember. I’ll
be fine.
FADE OUT.
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