BEAR GETS CATFISHED

Bear sits at his computer when Snake enters to check on him. “Hey Bear, what are you doing?” asked Snake. “I’m working on my dating profile, and I may have found the love of my life,” said Bear. Snake slithers over towards Bear and looks over to see Bear’s dating profile. Snake sees a handsome human male supermodel as his profile picture. “Who’s that guy?” asked Snake. Bear blushes and sighs. “That’s me, or who I’m posing as to get girls,” said Bear. “Dude, you’re catfishing people,” yelled Snake. “In a way I am, my name is still Bear but I just look like this guy. To the women online of course,” said Bear. Snake grabs the computer mouse away from Bear and starts messing with Bear’s dating profile. “Snake, what are you doing?” asked Bear. “So that’s the one you’re currently looking at,” said Snake. Snake points a picture of a beautiful young woman and Bear starts to sob. “Yes, that’s Jackie. The love of my life,” cried Bear. “You know she might be a guy, right?” said Snake. “What do you mean that Jackie might be a guy?” asked Bear. “Ask her out and you’ll find out the truth,” said Snake. “Okay I will,” said Bear. Meanwhile, at a nearby lake, Catfish Jack receives a message from Bear. Catfish Jack reads the message and screams. Catfish Jack’s scream gets the attention of his friends Mr. Otter and Snapper the Snapping Turtle. “What’s wrong?” asked Mr. Otter and Snapper the Snapping Turtle at the same time. “He wants to meet me,” said Catfish Jack. “Who wants to meet you?” asked Snapper the Snapping Turtle. Catfish Jack shows Snapper the Snapping Turtle and Mr. Otter his dating profile and they learn that Catfish Jack has been pretending to be a young human woman named “Jackie”. “Uh, okay, but you know you’re not a woman or human right? Plus, you can’t breathe air,” said Mr. Otter. “That’s where you come in Mr. Otter,” said Catfish Jack. “How exactly?” asked Mr. Otter. Catfish Jack asks Mr. Otter to build him a robotic body of a beautiful young woman so he can go on his date with Bear. Mr. Otter, using his inventing skills, builds Catfish Jack the robotic body of his dreams. Catfish Jack hops into the robotic body and starts to control it. “How do I look boys?” asked Catfish Jack. “You are now Jackie, go on that date and learn a lesson God damn it,” said Mr. Otter. Now we go to Bear waiting for Jackie at a fancy restaurant. Bear is wearing a bowtie and sunglasses. “She’s going to be pissed that I lied to her. But at least I can tell her the truth in person,” said Bear. Jackie enters the restaurant and spots Bear. Bear awkwardly waves to Jackie and Jackie gulps. Jackie sits next to Bear. “So, I get why your name is Bear. Yet, you look nothing like your profile,” said Jackie. “Sorry that I lied to you, but I hope we can still at least be friends,” said Bear. “No, I want nothing to do with you anymore. You broke my heart Bear. You lied,” said Jackie. Bear sighs and a waiter walks over with a plate that has a cooked catfish on it. Jackie screams in horror and runs out of the restaurant. Bear shrugs and starts to eat his catfish. After his bad date with Bear, Catfish Jack starts crying as Mr. Otter and Snapper the Snapping Turtle comfort him. “I’ll never find love,” cried Catfish Jack. “Don’t worry Jack, there’s plenty of fish in the lake,” said Snapper the Snapping Turtle. “Fuck you Snapper,” cried Catfish Jack. “Say Jack, what did you do with the Jackie robotic body?” asked Mr. Otter. “I put it in my storage unit, I thought it might come in handy for the future,” said Catfish Jack. “You’ve learned nothing have you?” asked Mr. Otter. “What can I say, I’m a catfish,” said Catfish Jack. Snake sits in his recliner reading a newspaper and smokes his pipe, when Bear enters holding hands with Amy Supersize. Bear and Amy Supersize are both giggling. Snake looks up and sees Bear with Amy Supersize. “So, this is the guy who catfished you?” asked Snake. “No, this beautiful young woman is a professional wrestler and I meant her at the restaurant after my date left me,” said Bear. “Come on Bear, let’s get some food and get cozy,” giggled Amy Supersize. "We’ll be in my room, Snake, I also used your credit card to pay for dinner too, I hope that’s okay? Anyway later,” said Bear. Bear and Amy Supersize sneak away up to Bear’s bedroom and Snake continues to read his newspaper. Snake hears Bear and Amy Supersize making love. Suddenly due to the weight of both Bear and Amy Supersize, they both fall from the ceiling and crush Snake. “Get another room you two. Also, get off me,” yelled Snake. Bear and Amy Supersize get up and dust themselves off. “Want to go to a motel, Amy? Snake’s buying,” said Bear. “Sure, later Snake it was nice to meet you,” said Amy Supersize. Bear and Amy Supersize exit as Snake slowly gets up back onto his now broken recliner. Snake puts headphones on and starts to listen to sad music. Snake cries as he eats a bowl of ice cream as he listens to sad music. “Love hurts,” cried Snake. 

THE END!