Hail, Caesar!/The Bachelor Parody Sketch Idea (Second City Class Project)

Here’s an idea that I had for a sketch that’s a parody of the Coen Brothers film Hail, Caesar! and the reality show The Bachelor. The sketch will be a parody trailer and will follow a network fixer at ABC who covers up the contestant’s scandals. It will parody real scandals from the show like a contestant being racist, only doing it to be on TV, etc. And insane far out ideas like one the male Bachelor gets pregnant, or contestants are an extraterrestrial, or the Anti-Christ, etc. Plus, the network fixer is offered a more generous job offer to work for MTV’s Catfish. I picture the sketch ending with the network fixer taking the job offer from MTV and then it cuts to ABC announcing that The Bachelor is canceled both the show and the contestants. That’s my idea and hopefully I’ll write a draft eventually.

COO-COO BIRD AND DINGO’S FINAL CHASE!

It’s officially an end of an era. Two Australian legends decide that it’s finally time for them to retire. I’m of course talking about Coo-Coo Bird and Dingo. They both feel like the magic is gone and have decided to go out with a bang. Dingo will chase Coo-Coo Bird one last time on Pay-Per-View in an event promoted by the Silly Squad founder himself Flea-Boy the Clown. With commentators Joe, Funclock, and Spotty calling the action. After a brief session of therapy with Smart Raptor, Coo-Coo Bird and Dingo are ready for their final chase in the outback. “This is it, the last time we’ll ever see…wait? Dingo already caught Coo-Coo Bird? That was quick. Show’s over. Thanks for watching I’ve been Spotty and...,” said Spotty. Then Flea-Boy the Clown turns off the TV to yell at Dingo. It’s the day after the final chase and Flea-Boy the Clown is pissed off. “What the heck Dingo? You caught Coo-Coo Bird too quickly and then you ate him live on camera. Now I have to give millions of customers refunds because you ruined the Pay-Per-View,” yelled Flea-Boy the Clown. “I’m sorry, Mr. Clown. It’s just that Coo-Coo Bird and I really are done with this shit. Coo-Coo Bird wanted to be put out of his misery. And now I lost and ate my only true friend,” said Dingo. “You owe me big time. Pay back the money you owe me, or I’ll see you in court,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. “I have a better idea, mate,” said Dingo. Dingo pulls out a gun and shoots Flea-Boy the Clown. After shooting Flea-Boy the Clown, Dingo steals valuable items from Flea-Boy the Clown’s office and flees the scene. Dingo is back home in his RV in the outback and looks at himself in the mirror. “It’s time for this Dingo to break bad,” said Dingo. 

One year after his final chase with Coo-Coo Bird, Dingo has become the biggest drug lord in all of Australia and fugitive. Dingo is making meth with Spotty in his RV. “Yo, cola me, bitch,” said Spotty. “Spotty, we need to find a new distributor for our Australian flag meth if we want to continue to make money,” said Dingo. “Also, you killed our last four distributors too,” said Spotty. Dingo pulls out a knife and points it at Spotty’s neck. “That’s not a knife, is it?” asked Spotty. Dingo laughs and pulls out an even bigger knife. “No, this is a knife,” said Dingo. Then there’s a knock on the RV door and Dingo releases Spotty. Dingo answers the door and its Flea-Boy the Clown. “Flea-Boy? I thought you were dead,” said Dingo. “Oh no. I’m very much alive. I hear you’re looking for a new distributor for your meth,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. “Why do you want to distribute my meth? I thought you hated me,” said Dingo. “You still owe me money and I figured this is how you’ll pay me back. Now let me see your fine product,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. Dingo and Spotty showed Flea-Boy the Clown a tray of Dingo’s Australian flag meth and Flea-Boy the Clown tried a sample. “This is some good shit! And I love the Australian flag color too. What’s your secret?” asked Flea-Boy the Clown. “I’ll tell you. For the right price,” said Dingo. But just then, DEA agents broke into Dingo’s RV and arrested him and Spotty. “What the Hell?” asks Dingo. Flea-Boy the Clown starts laughing and snaps his fingers. “This is for shooting me, asshole. I ratted you out to the DEA with the help of your partner Spotty of course,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. “Why Spotty did you betray me Spotty?” asked Dingo. “Flea-Boy promised me a ticket to the Lincoln Park Zoo if I ratted you out to the DEA,” cried Spotty. “You don’t need a ticket to go to the Lincoln Park Zoo, you idiot. It’s free admission for all,” yelled Dingo. “Then it’s guilt I felt then for what we were doing. Also, I wanted to get a better deal,” said Spotty. “I hate everyone in this RV right now,” said Dingo. And just like that, Dingo was given the death penalty for his crimes and was executed four months later. Now Dingo is in Hell, but he’s not alone. His old friend Coo-Coo Bird is there and now they both have to chase each other for eternity. What a cruel fate this is for these two old friends. And yet a blessing for all the fans who loved to watch them chase each other. 

THE END!

CHILLIE CHINCHILLA: STAR INTERN

At Silly Squad INC. headquarters, Igor and Fatty the Elephant Seal were supervising four new interns. Three of the four new interns were Jag the Jaguar, Barack Blenny, Amy Supersize. But the most important intern for this story is Chillie Chinchilla. Chillie Chinchilla is an up-and-coming Latin American stand-up comedian who was been working her way to the top of the comedy world. Her goal is to become an employee and member of the Silly Squad. Yet, to get to the top, you have to start at the bottom. So, for now, Chillie Chinchilla is just an unpaid intern with big dreams and street smarts. Igor and Fatty the Elephant Seal are showing the interns around the office. “Welcome interns to the Silly Squad family. This company was founded 25 years ago by Flea-Boy the Clown after he was fired from the circus. With its humble beginnings as children’s party entertainment services business, it would today grow into one of the world’s largest media and entertainment companies. Now are there any questions?” asked Igor. Jag the Jaguar raised his hand. “Yes, Mr. Jag Jaguar,” said Igor. “Um, is it true that Flea-Boy the Clown’s head is frozen underneath Logger’s Run at Silly Land?” asked Jag the Jaguar. “No that’s not true. And our founder is very much still alive. As far as I know,” said Igor. “I believe you’re thinking of Walt Disney and the urban legend of him being frozen underneath the Matterhorn at Disneyland,” said Chillie Chinchilla. “We dare not speak the name of Disney here. And we don’t have Walt’s frozen head hidden away in…,” yelled Fatty the Elephant Seal. Igor slapped Fatty the Elephant Seal in the face before he could that sentence and Fatty the Elephant Seal started to rub his face. “Now then, let’s assign everyone their duties,” said Igor. 

Each intern was a assigned a role within the company. Amy Supersize joined the cafeteria staff. Jag the Jaguar became a security guard. Barack Blenny became a mail clerk. As for Chillie Chinchilla, she became Igor’s secretary. “Okay, my first day. This is exciting. I finally joined the Silly Squad. I can’t wait for my first task. I better now blow it,” said Chillie Chinchilla. Igor pages Chillie Chinchilla and she answers. “Hello, what do you need Mr. Igor? Oh, coffee and doughnuts. Right away sir,” said Chillie Chinchilla. Chillie Chinchilla went out to get coffee and doughnuts for Igor. Meanwhile Jag the Jaguar was snooping around Silly Squad INC. headquarters and he found a secret door hidden behind a filing cabinet. Jag the Jaguar scanned a card at a keypad and the secret hidden door opened. As Chillie Chinchilla returned from getting the coffee and doughnuts, she spotted Jag the Jaguar entering the secret door. Chillie Chinchilla followed behind Jag the Jaguar through the secret door. Chillie Chinchilla followed Jag the Jaguar down a long hallway which led to a room filled with cryogenic chambers. Jag the Jaguar began shinning his flashlight at the cryogenic chambers. Chillie Chinchilla looked around and saw that inside the cryogenic chambers were famous animaters and cartoonists. Chillie Chinchilla saw cryogenic chambers that contained Jack Kirby, William Hanna, Joseph Barbera, Butch Hartman, Genndy Tartakovsky, Bob Kane, Paul Norris, Tex Avery, Chuck Jones, Robert McKimson, Ollie Johnson, Art Babbitt, and Ralph Bakshi. Chillie Chinchilla was both frighten and confused at what she was seeing. Jag the Jaguar stopped and began to open one of the cryogenic chambers. “Jag, what are you doing?” asked Chillie Chinchilla. “Mind your business Chillie and get lost. I’m doing a job for my real boss and unfreezing Walt Disney,” said Jag the Jaguar. “Wait? Walt Disney is frozen inside the Silly Squad headquarters. Why does Silly Squad have Walt Disney and all these animators frozen?” asked Chillie Chinchilla. “I don’t know. Anyway Mr. Coyote of Coyote Corp wanted me to get Walt Disney so…,” said Jag the Jaguar. “Oh God damn it! Coyote sent one of his interns again to try and steal Walt Disney,” screamed a mysterious voice. Jag the Jaguar and Chillie Chinchilla turned around to see Igor and Fatty the Elephant Seal standing behind them. “Igor? What the actual fuck! Why is Silly Squad freezing animators?” asked Chillie Chinchilla. “Let’s just say that Flea-Boy the Clown likes to loan out talent to other studios and you’re looking at the talent. Now both of you get out of here before we have the real security throw you out,” said Igor. “Igor, I think I have a better idea,” said Fatty the Elephant Seal. 

And so, Chillie Chinchilla was no longer an intern for the Silly Squad and lost her dream of becoming a member of the Silly Squad. But in the end, she was relieved that she left the Silly Squad internship program after learning about their horrible secret which she tried to share with the world, but no one believed her. Jag the Jaguar was given Don Bluth instead of Walt Disney much to the annoyance of his boss Coyote who wanted to play golf with Walt Disney and not Don Bluth. As for the two interns who remained, Amy Supersize ate all the food in the Silly Squad headquarters cafeteria and fled and Barack Blenny became the world’s greatest mail clerk and would eventually become CEO of Silly Squad INC. And all the animators and cartoonists remain cryogenically frozen inside the basement of Silly Squad INC. headquarters. 

THE END!

Vikings Remake Part 11

Soon Lancelot headed to the trainee bedroom. “Wake up everyone,” yelled Lancelot. Soon all the trainees woke up and stood up. “Now you’re all going on a mission for the king,” yelled Lancelot. “What mission is that sir,” asked Arthur Pendragon. “The king has ordered me to send you trainees and the entire royal guard out to find the Holy Grail, now get dressed in your armor and go…go…go,” yelled Lancelot. Soon all the trainees began to put their armor on and grabbed their weapons. After a couple of hours getting ready…all the royal guard left the kingdom and were off to look for the Holy Grail. “Those fools, now it’s time for part two of the plan,” said Lancelot to himself. Now we go to King Hrothgar’s bedroom where he was sleeping. Lancelot then broke into King Hrothgar’s bedroom. “Wake up you fat bastard,” cried Lancelot. King Hrothgar awoke freighted and looked around his bedroom. “Lancelot, what’s going on,” cried King Hrothgar. “Oh, nothing much…I sent the entire royal guard to look for the Holy Grail while I kill you,” said Lancelot. “You what,” cried King Hrothgar. Then Lancelot stabbed King Hrothgar in the heart and slowly King Hrothgar began to die. “Lancelot…why…wh…,” said King Hrothgar in pain. “Because I want power…now that you’re dead…I’m king,” yelled Lancelot. Soon King Hrothgar died and then Lancelot heard clapping behind him. Lancelot turned around and saw Loki. “Hello…King Lancelot,” said Loki. Then Loki and Lancelot began to laugh evilly. Now there’s a new king…King Lancelot. King Lancelot’s reign is about to begin, and chaos will also occur with it!

Vikings Remake Part 10

The Holy Grail, in this tale if you drink it, you will gain the powers of a god. Now it seems Loki will use it to do more tricks on the mortals. It has been three years since our heroes went on a quest to look for the Wishing Ruby. Lacey and Vanessa continued to run the shoe shop while Justin, Snow White, and Beowulf joined the royal guard to make a little more money for this so-called family of friends. Our story begins when Justin, Snow White, and Beowulf were trainees in the royal guard along with the other trainees Culhwch, Gawain, Lamorak, and Arthur Pendragon. Arthur Pendragon was bullied by the other trainees except for Justin, Snow White, and Beowulf. Soon Justin, Snow White, and Beowulf became very good friends with Arthur Pendragon. Soon all the trainees found out a Jousting tournament was being held at that they were all participants. 

But little do our heroes know is that one of the trainees will be a future king. Now we go to the bedrooms of the trainees where Justin, Snow White, Beowulf, and Arthur Pendragon were talking to each other about the big jousting tournament tomorrow. “I hope I can come out of this tournament alive,” said Snow White. “Same here,” said Arthur. “Snow White, you really impress me, you were once a Viking and now you’re about to become a member of the royal guard,” said Beowulf. “Yah, I guess going from Viking to knight is a big accomplishment…but yet I feel like a sellout…like I’m not a real Viking anymore,” said Snow White. “Snow White, you’re a good guy now and that’s all that matters,” said Justin. “Thanks, it’s nice to have friends like you guys,” said Snow White. “We better get some sleep, we have a big day tomorrow,” said Arthur. “Yah, good night, everyone,” said Justin. Then our heroes went to sleep and now we go to King Hrothgar’s throne room where King Hrothgar was sitting on his throne and Sir Lancelot stood by his side. “I’m so excited about the Jousting tournament tomorrow, Lancelot, your boys better be ready,” said King Hrothgar. “I just can’t believe Beowulf is a trainee, that poor bastard…but your majesty I was wondering about something,” said Sir Lancelot. “What are you wondering Lancelot,” asked King Hrothgar. “You know how we were given the map to the Holy Grail…we should look for it…if you drink it my king, you’ll be not only a ruler…but a god,” said Sir Lancelot. King Hrothgar started to laugh and then he gave a sigh. “Lancelot me boy, I don’t want the grail…I’m happy just to be king and nothing more,” said King Hrothgar. King Hrothgar then yawned and then he patted Lancelot on the back. “Boy I’m I tired, I better get to bed…good night, Lancelot see you in the morning,” yawned King Hrothgar. King Hrothgar then left the throne room and headed to his bedroom. “One day that fat ass of king will be out of power…and since he has no heir…I will be the next king,” said Lancelot to himself. Then Lancelot heard laughing and he began to look around the throne room. Just then from out of nowhere Loki appeared in front of him. “Who the hell are you,” cried Lancelot. “Why I’m Loki….I can lead you to the Holy Grail,” said Loki. “I’m listening,” said Lancelot. “I have a plan of how you can not only get the grail…but become a king,” said Loki. “King…me a king…can you make it so,” asked Lancelot. “Not without your help…now here’s what we do,” said Loki. Loki then began to explain his evil plan to Lancelot and Lancelot listened to Loki’s plan in excitement. What is Loki’s evil plan and why is Lancelot working with him. I guess Lancelot would do anything to have power…but can our heroes stop them? And how is this plan going to affect our heroes? I guess only time will tell!

Vikings Remake Part 9

As soon as our heroes returned home, and life went back to normal. Justin, Snow White, Lacey, Vanessa, and Beowulf reopened the Longfellow shoe shop. Now Justin, Snow White, Lacey, Vanessa, and Beowulf continued Paul Longfellow’s legacy of shoemaking. Justin and Vanessa were soon engaged to be married. Snow White and Lacey were also engaged to be married. And our heroes were just living normal lives. Now we go to the heavens where Loki, Hela, and Grendel plotting their next evil plan. “Thanks for bringing Grendel back to life Hela, now I have an idea of how we can rule the mortals,” said Loki. “What plan is that father,” asked Hela. “Remember the Holy Grail, we need to trick a mortal into drinking…but which mortal,” asked Loki. “I found one that may work father,” said Hela. “Who is it,” asked Loki. “His name is Sir Lancelot, I sense darkness and power hunger in his heart, he’s the one,” said Hela. “Then I guess we’ll trick this Lancelot, it’ll be easy,” said Loki. Then Hela, Loki, and Grendel began to laugh evilly. A new quest was about to begin!

Vikings Remake Part 8

Justin, Snow White, Lacey, Vanessa, and Dinky the Bernese Mountain dog made it to the Wishing Ruby Island. “Alright, I think the Wishing Ruby is inside a cave like last time, now let’s head to the mountains,” said Justin. Our heroes soon journeyed through a tropical jungle, crossed over a lagoon, and hiked up a huge mountain and then our heroes made it to the entrance of the cave which had the Wishing Ruby inside. “Alright, let’s head in,” said Justin. Our heroes soon went inside the cave, and it was filled with booby-traps. Finally, our heroes made it to the section of the cave with the Wishing Ruby. The Wishing Ruby stood atop a case and around the Wishing Ruby was treasure. “Alright, we can finally make our wishes come true,” said Justin. But before our heroes could grabbed the Wishing Ruby…Babaduse walked in, and his Viking henchmen grabbed our heroes. “At long last, I can grant my wish,” said Babaduse. “Not so fast Babaduse, shouldn’t we kill these fools,” said Loki. “Who put you in charge,” cried Babaduse. “What…I’m the boss,” cried Loki. Loki and Babaduse soon began to argue and while they were arguing Justin escaped. Justin grabbed the Wishing Ruby, and his first wish was to have three more wishes. “Hey what the…that asshole nephew of mine is granting wishes why I…,” yelled Babaduse in anger. “I wish Babaduse would be turned into solid gold,” yelled Justin. Just then Babaduse turned into a statue made of solid gold. “I wish Snow White’s aging curse was broken,” yelled Justin. Just then Snow White turned back into a young man. “I’m young again,” cried Snow White. “I wish Vanessa’s curse was broken,” yelled Justin. 

Just then Vanessa turned into a beautiful young woman. “I’m me again,” cried Vanessa. As soon as all the wishes were granted the stone shattered in a million pieces. “Bro, what about bringing dad back to life,” asked Lacey. “I love him, and I will continue to love him, I hate to say this…but maybe it’s a good thing he was killed because now we can move on with our dreams,” said Justin. Soon Babaduse’s Viking henchmen looked at their leader who was now a solid gold statue. “Come on boys, let’s sell Babaduse’s solid gold body for some beer,” yelled one of the Vikings. Babaduse’s Viking henchmen took their leader who is now a golden statue, and they are just going to sell it for things they want. I guess Babaduse is now a treasure himself. Soon our heroes were heading back to their boat when from out of the shoreline washed up an old friend. “Oh my god…its Beowulf,” cried Justin in excitement. Our heroes ran up to Beowulf and he soon awoke. “Lucky, I survived that Sea Dragon attack, I didn’t kill the bloody thing, but I scared him off,” said Beowulf. “Sorry you couldn’t get your wish granted,” said Justin. “I’m just glad to be alive and have new friends,” said Beowulf. “Do you need us to carry you on to the boat,” asked Justin. “Nah, I can walk it,” said Beowulf. Beowulf stood up and then our heroes were headed back to their home kingdom, and it seems they completed their quest. Now their futures seem bright!

Vikings Remake Part 7

Our heroes were slowly sailing towards the Wishing Ruby Island. Lacey and Snow White were sleeping together, Beowulf soon awoke, and he decided to stick with our heroes until they get to the Wishing Ruby, Justin was steering the ship and Vanessa stood behind him. “Justin, what are you going to wish for?” asked Vanessa. “I’m wishing my father back to life,” said Justin. “But he is alive, he’s up in the heavens,” said Vanessa. “What,” asked Justin confusingly? Vanessa then covered her month out of shock at what she just said. “What do you mean my father is still alive, what do you know troll…or Valkyrie…or whatever the heck you are,” cried Justin. “Alright, Odin’s going to kill me, but you know that thing Snow White said,” asked Vanessa. “Yah, about you being a beautiful Valkyrie and Odin being angry at both you and his so-called son, and that you were cursed and turned into a troll and your lover became a mortal, Snow White had no idea whatever happened to him,” said Justin. “Well, this is going to shock you, but you’re my lover, you’ve been turned into mortal and your memory was erased, and you’re not really a Longfellow but the son of Odin…you’re a god, Justin…a god,” said Vanessa. “Wait a minute, you mean I’m a god, my father is Odin, and I was your lover? I don’t believe this,” cried Justin. “Believe it, I know it sounds crazy but it’s true, we did love each other, and I will always love you even though I have to marry Thor,” said Vanessa. “If what you’re saying is true, then I guess one of my dreams came true,” said Justin. “What dream is that?” asked Vanessa. “That I will go to Valhalla when I die,” said Justin. Justin and Vanessa laughed together and soon they started talking to each other while Justin was steering the boat. 

Even though Justin and Vanessa were once lovers…they were beginning to fall in love with each other all over again. Beowulf was looking out to see when he saw a huge Viking boat. “Ah kid, we have a problem,” cried Beowulf. Justin pulled out his telescope and looked out at the Viking boat and it was Babaduse’s Viking Boat. “Babaduse, he found us…but how,” said Justin. Just then Babaduse’s Viking Boat and our heroes’ boat were right next to each other when. “Monster,” cried one of the Vikings on Babaduse’s ship. The monster was none other than The Sea Dragon. The Sea Dragon looked like an eel/dragon hybrid, and it started attacking both ships. While The Sea Dragon was attacking both ships the Sea Dragon created a thunderstorm around it. “Kid, sorry I don’t know you’re name…but I can fight this Sea Dragon, you steer the boat out of here while I fight this beast,” said Beowulf. “But…,” cried Justin. “Don’t worry, you saved my life…I’ll save yours,” said Beowulf. Beowulf then pulled out his sword and jumped out of the boat onto the Sea Dragon’s back. Beowulf was stabbing the Sea Dragon in the neck and soon Justin steered the boat out of the chaos caused by the Sea Dragon. Our heroes were almost towards the Wishing Ruby…and so was Babaduse!

Vikings Remake Part 6

Soon Justin and the troll walked into a section of the cave and in that section was a huge treasure. And besides the treasure, Beowulf beat Justin to what they both think is the Wishing Ruby. Beowulf was fighting off Grendel and then Grendel knocked out Beowulf with a huge slap. “I have an idea on how to stop this guy,” said Justin. Justin then pulled out his bow and arrows and he shot an arrow at a bunch of stalactites which were above Grendel. Just then the stalactites flew and crushed Grendel to death. “Wow, my plan worked, now let’s find the Wishing Ruby,” said Justin. Justin and the troll looked everywhere for the Wishing Ruby until Justin sees a staff with a jewel at the tip. “I think I…,” said Justin. Then the troll grabbed the staff and then it snapped it in two. “You broke…,” cried Justin. The troll then picked up the real map to the Wishing Ruby. “That’s the real map…so the map we got…,” said Justin. “Only leads you to the real map,” said the troll. “Alright let’s…wait…Beowulf…help me carry him out of here,” said Justin. Soon Justin and the troll while carrying a knocked-out Beowulf exited the cave. “Justin, you made it…oh my god…look out it’s…,” screamed Lacey. “Relax, it’s harmless,” said Justin. “I don’t like being called it,” said the troll. “Then what’s your name Mr. Troll,” asked Lacey. “Vanessa,” said the troll. Lacey laughed then said, “No seriously what’s your real….” Vanessa’s (the troll) face looked serious. “You’re a girl troll…wow…sorry for…,” said Lacey. “It’s nothing new, I’ve always been a monster, so when can we get to that Wishing Ruby,” said Vanessa. “Hold on, did you say your name was Vanessa,” asked Snow White. 

Vanessa nodded and Snow White looked excited. “Guys, this troll Vanessa is actually a beautiful Valkyrie who was meant to merry Thor, but instead she fell in love with one of Thor’s brothers, Odin was so angry at both Vanessa and his own son, that Vanessa was cursed and turned into a troll and her lover…became a mortal, I have no idea whatever happened to him,” said Snow White. “Wow is this true Vanessa,” asked Lacey. “Yes, I want to use the Wishing Ruby to break the curse and return my lover’s memory back,” said Vanessa. “Come on, we have to get the Wishing Ruby to wish our father back to life,” said Justin. “To break my aging curse,” said Snow White. “And to make me beautiful again,” said Vanessa. Snow White then turned into a baby. “Crap, his aging curse did this to him, come on let’s head back to the boat,” said Lacey. When our heroes returned to the shoreline, they soon saw that a huge new Viking ship was at the spot their lifeboat once was. “Wow, do you think we can steal that boat,” asked Justin. Snow White then turned into an old man again. “Bigger boat means more room, let’s go,” said Snow White in a weak voice. “I wonder how it got here,” asked Lacey. Soon Justin, Snow White, Lacey, Vanessa, Dinky the Bernese Mountain dog, and a knocked-out Beowulf set sail in their new huge boat. Now we go to the heavens where Niord, Frey, and Tyr were watching our heroes sail away in the new boat. “So, do you think they have a chance at beating Loki to the Wishing Ruby,” asked Frey. “We gave them a bigger boat what else can we do,” asked Tyr. “Send out a beast that will distract both of them,” said Niord. “You don’t mean…,” asked Tyr. “Yes…The Sea Dragon,” said Niord. Just then a thunderstorm was headed towards our heroes and the enemy and with it a foul beast from the deep…The Sea Dragon!

Vikings Remake Part 5

Justin walked deeper into the cave, and he kept hearing loud roaring. Just then, Justin entered slowly into a section of the cave, and he saw a huge, fat, ugly, troll eating dead animal carcasses. “Holy crap, look at the size of this troll, I have to sneak past it,” said Justin to himself. Justin slowly walked towards the other side and then he stepped on a stick. The stick cracked and the troll heard him. The troll began to sniff around for something. “Is someone there, I can smell you, I just want to be left…alone, if you don’t hurt me I won’t hurt you,” yelled the troll. “Man what a weird thing for an ugly killing machine to say,” said Justin to himself. “Who called me ugly,” roared the troll angrily. “Oh crap,” said Justin to himself. The troll then ran towards Justin and as Justin tried to escape…the troll grabbed him. “Please don’t kill me monster, I come in peace, all I want is,” screamed Justin. The troll then saw his face and then it screamed. “You, oh no…ah…you can move on it’s cool, I won’t kill you,” said the troll. The troll then sent Justin down. “Hold on, how do you know me…never mind…I need to find the Wishing Ruby,” said Justin. As Justin was about to leave to go further into the cave, the troll jumped in front of him while he was walking. “Hold it, you’re looking for the Wishing Ruby, I have a wish…can I go with you,” asked the troll. “Sure whatever…now then we…,” said Justin. Then Justin and the troll heard loud roaring. “There’s another monster in here, crap,” said Justin. Justin and the troll were off to find the treasure…only there are two problems…another monster is in the cave, and they don’t know the Wishing Ruby isn’t at the cave. I guess there’s more work to do for our heroes!

The Cursed Kingdom Part 3

Jessica Kinling and Arthur Willings had daughter named Stacy, when she was born, she was cursed by an evil wizard, when she turned 20...she would become a horrible beast. Jessica was once a monster herself, but the spell was broken by her true love, Arthur Willings, and she was human once more. Now Stacy’s caring parents wanted to break the spell, but how. They went to the wizard named Beardy and he told them that Stacy’s true love can break the spell, but there was twist. Unlike last time, Stacy had to fall in love with a prince. You see Arthur was just a peasant and he broke the curse, and the wizard who sent the spell on Stacy made it so that her true love is only a prince. So only a prince can break the spell and it must be her true love. Arthur and Jessica searched far and low for her prince and soon they found him. Now we go many years into the future and Stacy just turned 20. Stacy was a very beautiful young woman, and she was caring, funny, and very smart. Stacy’s only friends were Tod Komp, who is the son of Amy and Roddy Komp, and her Mexican servant Hector. Hector and Tod were loyal friends, and they were of course both young men. Hector by the way is in love with Stacy, but since he’s only a servant, he thinks Stacy deserves better. Hector did most of the chores in the Kinling Castle, and he got paid very little. Hector’s dream is to become a knight and be a true hero. Hector is friends with Spotty, Stork, and Binky Bear and they are teaching how to be a knight. Hector hopes Stacy will find someone special and take good care of her. Now our story begins in the boiler room of the Kinling Castle, which is the bedroom of Hector. Hector wakes up every morning and does his chores. Then when he’s all done, he does his training to become a knight. After Hector is done with his training, he does more chores. Now we go to Hector and Tod Komp talking to each other while Hector was cleaning up. “Man Hector, I can’t believe that you may become a knight,” said Tod Komp. “Yah well, I hope I can get away from being a servant, I want to be a hero, not a slave,” said Hector. “Oh, did I tell you Stacy is getting married,” said Tod. “What,” cried Hector. Now we go to Stacy’s bedroom where she has just gotten out of bed. Now Stacy was getting dressed, and then Sparky the dragon flew on her bed and fell asleep. Then Stacy started petting Sparky. “Who’s a good boy, you are, who’s the best little dragon in the world, you are,” said Stacy in a cute voice while petting Sparky. 

Sparky the dragon then started licking Stacy. “Stop it boy, please,” laughed Stacy while Sparky was licking her. Then Sparky fell asleep, and then Stacy was heading down to breakfast. Her parents were in the dining room, and Stacy sat at the fount of the long table. “Good morning mom and dad,” said Stacy. “Good morning honey,” said Jessica Kinling. “Stacy honey, you know what today is,” asked Arthur Willings. “What daddy,” asked Stacy. “Today you meet the prince you’re going to marry,” said Arthur. “Oh, what’s his name,” asked Stacy. “His name is Prince Leon and he’s a very nice young man, and I think you’ll like him,” said Arthur. “And what if I don’t like him or even love him,” asked Stacy. “Now honey, you have to marry a prince, because…,” said Jessica. “I know mom, because I’m a princess and I have to marry a prince,” said Stacy. Then Hector brought out the meal. “Here’s breakfast I hope you guys like it,” said Hector. “Thanks Hector, this looks good,” said Arthur. Then Arthur, Jessica, and Stacy started eating breakfast. “Excuse me your majesty, I was wondering, why is Stacy getting married,” asked Hector. “Hector, my daughter is the heir to the throne, and she has to marry a prince and…,” said Arthur. “Who’s the guy,” asked Hector. “What,” asked Arthur. “Who’s the prince that Stacy is going to marry, I like to meet him and tell him a few things,” said Hector. “His name is Prince Leon, and he’s coming here tomorrow,” said Arthur. “I’ll have everything ready for his arrival, and your majesty,” said Hector. “What,” asked Arthur. “Could I get a little more pay, because I need to pay for some things and…,” said Hector. “Hector, no more pay, I pay you the same amounts as the other servants, now just let us eat in peace,” said Arthur. “Yes sir,” said Hector. Then Hector headed back to the kitchen. “Dad, could you be a little bit nicer to Hector, after all he’s my best friend,” said Stacy. “He’s a servant, I can be as mean as I can, because we pay him to do the chores, now then…can you pass the bacon,” said Arthur. So now Prince Leon is going to marry Stacy, but is he really Stacy’s true love, or is it someone else. Soon everybody was getting ready for the arrival of Prince Leon. Now we go to Hector sweeping up the hallway while talking to Tod Komp. “I wonder what Stacy’s new husband is like,” said Tod Komp. “I think he’s just like the other princes we met, a big muscular hunk who’s a jerk,” said Hector. “Yah, I’m thinking that too, but hell, if Stacy’s parents want her to be miserable then let her be miserable,” said Tod Komp. Soon Prince Leon arrived, and he was very good looking and very strong. “Hello Prince Leon, nice to see you,” said Arthur. “Nice to meet you your majesty, now I want to meet my bride,” said Prince Leon. Then Stacy walked into the room. “Wow, you’re beautiful, you will make a fine wife,” said Prince Leon. “Thanks, so can I get to know you, even though our wedding is in a couple of days,” asked Stacy. “Sure, I would like to know my beautiful wife,” said Prince Leon. “Prince Leon, my name is….,” said Hector. “Oh servant, grab my bags and…,” said Prince Leon. “I’ll do that, but I wanted to talk to you about Stacy, since I’m her best friend and…,” said Hector. “Hold it, why would you think that the princess is your best friend, she’s obviously being nice, now take my bags to my room and leave us alone,” said Prince Leon. “Yes sir,” said Hector. Then Hector picked up Prince Leon’s bags and started walking to the guest room. “Prince Leon, you could have been a little nicer to Hector,” said Stacy. “Don’t worry, I think he gets the message, he does speak English right,” said Prince Leon. “Yes, he does, and he is my friend by the way,” said Stacy. “Right, so let’s talk about our relationship,” said Prince Leon. Soon Hector was back doing his chores. “What a jerk, Stacy is so my friend…or is she, she could just have been nice to me all these years, gosh, maybe she did fake being my friend, I should talk to her,” said Hector to himself. Then Hector went to Stacy’s room and saw that Stacy was crying. “What’s wrong Stacy,” asked Hector. “Hector, I don’t want to marry Prince Leon, he’s such a jerk and I think he doesn’t care about me,” said Stacy. “Look, I think he’s a jerk, but you’re running out of princes to marry, I guess you may like Prince Leon over time or something, or you can just rule the kingdom by yourself,” said Hector. “Yah, but if I marry Prince Leon, I won’t live in the Kinling Kingdom anymore,” said Stacy. “What,” said Hector. Just when Stacy was about to go to bed from the night, she felt pain inside her body, and she let out a loud scream. Hector heard the scream from boiler room. “That sounded like Stacy, I better check it out,” said Hector to himself. Then Hector grabbed his sword just in case of danger. Then when Hector went to Stacy’s room, she wasn’t there. Then Hector heard a loud roar in the hallway. “What in the hell was that?” said Hector to himself. Then Hector ran down the hallway and then he saw something in the kitchen. It was a blue-skinned ogre, and it was eating all the food. “Holy shit,” yelled Hector. Then the ogre saw Hector and screamed then ran away. Hector started chasing the ogre. Then Tod Komp walked right in fount of Hector. “Dude, what are you doing running with your sword,” asked Tod Komp. “Turn around Tod,” said Hector. Then Tod turned around and saw the ogre. “Oh my god, what the hell is that thing,” yelled Tod. Then the ogre ran outside the castle into the forest. “Tod, listen to me, we have to kill that ogre, I think it ate Stacy,” said Hector. “I better tell the knights and…,” cried Tod Komp. “No, we tell no one, it’s up to me and you to kill the ogre, now come on before it goes any farther into the forest,” said Hector. 

Soon Hector and Tod Komp were walking in the forest. “Dude for real, why can’t we just tell the guards or the knights, why do we have to kill it,” said Tod. “Look, I’m almost a knight and if I kill an ogre that will make me a knight, so I kill it and you help me bring back the body,” said Hector. “Okay, I’ll help you, but once it kills you, I’ll…,” said Tod Komp. Then Hector and Tod heard loud crying in the forest. Then Hector and Tod see the ogre crying. “Hey pal, what were you doing in the Kinling Kingdom,” asked Hector. “I used to live there, but I’m running away Hector and Tod,” said the ogre. “How do you know are names,” asked Hector. “It’s me,” said the ogre. “Me who,” asked Hector. “I’m Stacy,” said the ogre. “Stacy, what the hell happened to you,” said Hector. “Come on dude, how do we know the ogre isn’t lying,” said Tod Komp. “You wet your pants in the 3rd grade in fount of the whole class,” said Stacy. “Okay, its Stacy, now could we head back to the kingdom,” said Tod. “I can never go back don’t you see, I’m a monster, this is my home now, the woods,” said Stacy. “Stacy, I’m staying with you in the woods tonight,” said Hector. “Okay, for one night, and then it’s the wild,” said Stacy. Hector and Tod were staying with Stacy in the woods for one night because they cared about her. “Stacy, I just wanted to tell you since you’re a monster now, look out for the Black Knights,” said Tod Komp. “Who are the Black Knights,” asked Stacy. “Oh, they’re a group of knights that kill ogres, dragons, and giants, you just made their hit list,” said Tod Komp. Hector was cooking burritos over a campfire. “So, Stacy, what do you think of Prince Leon,” asked Tod Komp. “He’s just like every prince I met, hot and spoiled, now look at me, Prince Leon would probably kill me now,” said Stacy. “Well if he loves you, he won’t kill you, even if this ogre thing is forever,” said Hector. “Thanks for staying with me tonight, you guys are true friends,” said Stacy. “You’re welcome,” said Hector and Tod Komp at the same time. “I wish that there were more princes like you guys, then I’d marry them,” said Stacy. “Okay the burritos are done, let’s eat,” said Hector. Then they ate the burritos and then went to sleep. Soon it was morning, when Hector woke up, he saw that Stacy was gone. “Tod, wake up,” yelled Hector. “What’s up,” asked Tod. “We have a problem,” said Hector. Now we go to Coyote and Terry the Tapir riding on horseback on patrol. “Man, I heard there was an ogre out here, I can’t wait to kill it,” yelled Terry the Tapir. “Yes, I too can’t wait to slay the beast as well,” said Coyote. “Ah thanks for letting me rejoin the Black Knights again Coyote, I promise I won’t spend your money on beer, I’ll only sped mine,” said Terry the Tapir. Then they heard rustling in the bushes. “Hear that Mr. Tapir,” asked Coyote. “I’ll check it out,” said Terry the Tapir. Then Terry the Tapir pulled back the bushes, and he saw Stacy. “Boss, I found the ogre, let me kill this one,” cried Terry the Tapir. Then Stacy started running away from the Black Knights. Then Stacy bumped into another ogre. “What the…,” said Stacy. “You, I’ll kill you,” yelled the ogre. Then Terry the Tapir saw the two ogres. “Oh ho, two ogres to slay for the price of one,” said Terry the Tapir. “Long time no see Terry, drinking heavily still my old partner,” said the ogre. “How do you know me you smelly beast,” asked Terry the Tapir. “It’s me, Prince Gary, a former Black Knight, now then, time to take out the trash,” said Prince Gary. Then Terry the Tapir and Prince Gary started fighting each other. Then while they were fighting, Stacy ran away. Hector and Tod were walking in the forest to look for Stacy, and then they saw a carnival. “Tod let’s go into that carnival and to ask if they saw an ogre,” said Hector. 

Then our heroes entered the carnival, and then the ringmaster walked towards our heroes. “Hello I’m Mr. We, welcome to Mr. We’s Carnival and Freak Show,” said Mr. We. “Look Mr. We, have you seen an ogre anywhere,” asked Hector. “If you want to see the ogre, you have to pay the entrance fee,” said Mr. We. Then Hector paid Mr. We the entrance fee. “Thank you, you two are my first customers, and my employees said it was a bad idea to put my carnival in the middle of the woods,” said Mr. We. Then Hector and Tod went inside the freak show and saw freaks trapped in cages. Hector and Tod soon found the ogre…but, it wasn’t Stacy. “Excuse me ogre, have you seen a female ogre,” asked Hector. “Yes, I have, my name is Prince Gary and I was put here by the Black Knights because they think I’m an animal, so now I’m stuck here in a traveling carnival, and your friend was taken to the Black Knights headquarters to be killed,” said Prince Gary. “Oh my god, the Black Knights are going to kill Stacy, I have to stop them, but not on my own, Prince Gary do you know where the Black Knights headquarters is,” asked Hector. “It’s just three miles from here, and you will die on sight, but have fun though,” said Prince Gary. Then Hector and Tod left the carnival. “Tod, I need you to go back to the Kinling Kingdom and get help, I’ll go try to save Stacy,” said Hector. “So, I guess this is goodbye,” said Tod. “Yah for now, so go get help Tod,” said Hector. Then Tod and Hector shook hands and went their separate ways. Now it’s up to Hector to save Stacy from the Black Knights, and we only hope he can save her! Soon Hector was inside the Black Knights headquarters. Hector heard a loud roar and then he saw Stacy in chains. “Stacy, you’re alive,” cried Hector. “Hector, you came to save me,” yelled Stacy. Then Hector freed Stacy, and then our heroes heard clapping behind them. It was Coyote with Terry the Tapir by his side. “So, you’re saving the life of this monster, you fool, I guess we’ll kill you too,” said Coyote. “Bring it,” said Hector. Then Hector and Stacy started fighting Coyote and Terry the Tapir. Then Stacy screamed in pain, and soon Hector saw an arrow in her leg. “Who shot an arrow into Stacy’s leg,” yelled Hector. Then the person who shot Stacy with the arrow was Prince Leon. “No way, you worked for the Black Knights all along,” yelled Hector. “Prince Leon is a pound member of the Black Knights, he’s an expert with the bow and arrow as well as his swordsmen shift,” said Coyote. “Now I will kill this ogre and let the Black Knights reign supreme,” yelled Prince Gary. Then Coyote, Terry the Tapir, and Prince Leon started laughing evilly. “Hey Hector, we’re here,” yelled a mysterious voice. It was Tod and he brought the Kinling Kingdom knights with him. “Alright you knights take care of these guys, we’ll get the princess to safety,” said Tod. Then the Kinling Kingdom knights started fighting the Black Knights. Soon Hector, Tod, and Stacy were outside the Black Knights headquarters. “I’ll take the arrow out of your leg Stacy,” said Hector. Then Hector pulled the arrow out of Stacy’s leg. “I can’t believe the man I was going to marry wanted to kill me, I guess I’ll never find true love,” said Stacy. “Look Stacy, I wanted to tell you something for a long time,” said Hector. “What Hector,” asked Stacy. “Stacy, I love you, I want you to be my girlfriend or my wife, I love you more than a friend, I’m in love with you and I risked my life to save you because I’ll always love you no matter if you’re an ogre or not,” said Hector. “I always loved you too Hector,” cried Stacy. Then Stacy and Hector kissed each other and soon Stacy turned back into a human. “Stacy, you’re human again,” yelled Hector. “I’m me again, Hector, you broke the curse, but how,” cried Stacy. Then the Kinling Knights came out of the Black Knights headquarters. “Alright Princess Stacy, we can take you back home now,” said one of the Kinling Knight. Then Hector carried Stacy all the way back to the Kinling Kingdom. I guess Hector was the true love this whole time. Soon Hector found out that he was a prince. Hector’s parents died when he was a baby, and he was the heir to the throne. Soon Hector and Stacy got married, and now Hector is the new king of the Kinling Kingdom. Tod Komp became Hector’s royal advisor, and they are still very good friends. Arthur Willings died of a heart attack. Jessica was now in very poor heath and Roddy Komp divorced Amy after a long marriage. Prince Gary now lives in Mr. We’s traveling carnival as his top freak. And everyone else lived happily ever after! 

THE END!

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