Bucky's Japanese Legends

 

The Gifted 1987

Back in 1987, during the tail end of the Cold War, at the campus of Action City Academy located in Action City, Illinois, three scientists were working with and studying the effects of a newly created chemical called Chemical G1. Chemical G1 was the creation of head scientist, Dr. Bob Scott, and his assistants, Dr. Alan Dean and Dr. Vicky Good. Their research was being funded by both the U.S. Government and Henry Q. Corp., who the later invested heavily in the project. Coincidentally, the three scientists all had one thing in common, they all had medical or physical problems. Dr. Bob Scott is in a wheelchair, Dr. Alan Dean is legally blind, and Dr. Vicky Good is extremely obese. Dr. Bob Scott is both a mentor and a father figure to his two younger assistants Dr. Alan Dean and Dr. Vicky Good. The three misfit scientists feel it’s us vs. the rest of the world. Dr. Bob Scott is a Vietnam War veteran, and after being shot in the back, lost his ability to walk. Dr. Alan Dean was born blind, but his intelligence more than made up for lack of eyesight. Dr. Vicky Good, the youngest of the three, has been bullied for her weight and appearance. Having a low self-esteem and being quite shy. Like her peers, she found comfort in science and technology thus earning her doctorate at the age of 17. Even though they have handicap shortcomings, their vast intelligence and intellect more than make up for it. 

On the day of the experimental testing of Chemical G1, it was a cool summer night. Dr. Bob Scott, eager to test his creation on living things decides to test it on a simple lab monkey. "Alright, let's test Chemical G1 everybody," said Dr. Bob Scott. Dr. Vicky Good munches on a box of donuts and drinks a soda as the countdown begins much to the annoyance of her colleague Dr. Alan Dean. "You should really lose some weight, you're going to have a heart attack if you don't change your ways," said Dr. Alan Dean. "How do you know that I'm fat, you're blind," yelled Dr. Vicky Good. "Please, I bump into your gut all the time, just because I'm blind doesn't mean I can't feel things," said Dr. Alan Dean. Dr. Bob Scott rolls over to his two assistants and places his hands on their shoulders. “We are about to witness what Chemical G1 can do,” said Dr. Bob Scott. Dr. Alan Dean sighs and states “You know we’re making a poisonous chemical weapon right? Because why else would we get funding from the government and weapons manufacturer Henry Q. Corp,”. Dr. Bob Scott chuckles and says “Alan, my boy, you’ve never fought a day in your life, have you? I’ve seen the horrors of war, if my calculations are correct, Chemical G1 will be a quick and painless death,”. Dr. Alan Dean sighs and slowly gets up. Dr. Vicky Good shakes in fear and screams “I got a bad feeling about this. We should call off the test,”. Dr. Bob Scott slams his fist on the control room desk. "Enough, we’re beginning the countdown now in, 3, 2, 1, and release Chemical G1 into the room with Subject 3X9," yelled Dr. Bob Scott. The lab monkey is inside a room with an air vent that will cover the whole room in Chemical G1. As the chemical flows through the air vent, the lab monkey starts mutating into a monstrous beast. "The monkey looks like he's in pain. We better stop this experiment," said Dr. Vicky Good. Dr. Alan Dean can’t open the door to exit the laboratory. “I want no part in this, let me out of here,” screamed Dr. Alan Dean. The lab monkey grew and mutated to the point where it cried out in pain. Dr. Bob Scott sighs and says, “Call of the test, right…”. Before the three scientists could call of the test, Chemical G1 causes an explosion inside the lab, and Chemical G1 spreads everywhere. The scientists begin changing, but what will they become? Oddly enough, Chemical G1 isn’t a poison, it’s a miracle. Dr. Bob Scott, dizzy and lightheaded, is the first to wake up after the explosion inside the ruins of his lab. Dr. Bob Scott stumbles up and grabs a desk. "Oh, hello, anybody? Man, I have a headache, somebody help me get to my wheelchair, fine, I'll just crawl," said Dr. Bob Scott. Dr. Bob Scott crawls and pulls himself to a standing position. After clearing his head and he realizes he is standing on his own two legs. In another few seconds he can walk. "Wait, I can walk? It's a miracle, I must find the others," said Dr. Bob Scott. He found Dr. Alan Dean under a heavy desk. Dr. Bob Scott lifted the heavy desk with one hand. "Are you alright?" asked Dr. Bob Scott. "Oh what, hey I can see, this is awesome," yelled Dr. Alan Dean. Dr. Alan Dean discovered he can not only see but has laser vision by accidently blasting a hole in the wall. They find Dr. Vicky Good and she has lost a lot of weight. In fact, she has lost a vast amount of her body weight. Originally, she was at 560lbs. and now she weighs just 115lbs. "OMG, I’m thin, what happened?" asked Dr. Vicky Good. Suddenly Vicky grew over 80 feet tall and bumped her head on the ceiling. Dr. Bob Scott walks over to a bookshelf and pulls out a comic book. Dr. Bob Scott smiles as he sheds a tear as an idea came to him. "Hey, we all have superpowers now! I know what we must do, we should help others! We have been cured of our problems, were The Gifted," said Dr. Bob Scott. "Wait, we should be superheroes, but how can we save the world?" asked Dr. Alan Dean. "As a team, we should work side-by-side," said Dr. Bob Scott. "Hey guys, where did the lab monkey go?" asked Dr. Vicky Good. The lab monkey mutated into a giant monster and was heading to the city. "Guys, we need to stop that monkey, time to save the day," said Dr. Bob Scott. Now, the three scientists are the superhero team known as The Gifted. This is the day they became superheroes. First mission, they must stop the mutant monkey they created before it destroys the city. Dr. Bob Scott gives his assistants, Alan and Vicky, each a domino mask before they leave their laboratory. They head out to chase the giant Mutant Monkey which is already wreaking havoc in Action City. "Alright, Alan you're going to be called Dr. Laser, Vicky you're going to be called Ms. Giant, and I'll be called Dr. Strong. Remember those names, because we're superheroes now. There’s no going back. Let's go stop that Mutant Monkey before it destroys Action City," cried Dr. Strong. The Gifted arrive in the city as their epic first battle begins against the giant Mutant Monkey. Only a few hours later, The Gifted saved the day by slaying the monster, thus the popularity of The Gifted is just around the corner. 

Flash forward three months later and in an entirely different dimension, where magical creatures roam, we learn that the magical slacker, Peter P. Pixie, who is the chief dragon poop cleaner at his village’s zoo, longs to rule a world of his own. As he cleans up a huge pile of dragon poop, he groans. "Man, if I could rule another world, I would be like a king, but which world should I take over? I know, I will go to another dimension to take it over and soon people will finally respect Peter P. Pixie," said Pixie. Pixie starts laughing as he opens a portal and goes through it. As Peter P. Pixie travels through the portal, he looks for the right dimension to enter. “I must find a world with no magic, one where I can be king,” said Peter P. Pixie. Pixie smells a familiar smell. “Wait, is that fairasha? I must follow the smell of fairasha to the realm that contains it. With the magical power of fairasha, I will conquer everything,” said Peter P. Pixie. Fairasha is a magical powder used by magic wielders in the magical dimension. But in our world, it is simply known as Chemical G1. Yes, Dr. Bob Scott recreated a magical powder called fairasha thus The Gifted gained their powers through a combination of magic and science. Elsewhere, The Gifted, in three months’ time, became a very popular superhero team in their hometown of Action City, due to the fact they saved the city many times from threats both far and near. They have finally decided to give their first TV interview as a team with Channel 11 TV reporter, Hank Hunter. “Hello viewers, Channel 11 has scored the first ever interview with the mysterious popular new superhero team, The Gifted. So, the biggest question is, how did you all meet and where did you all get your strange superpowers?” asks Hank Hunter. “Well Hank, I’m afraid that information is classified. But citizens of Action City know this. We are here to protect you, and we will fight any threat that comes our way,” said Dr. Strong. “It’s good for superheroes to keep secrets. But could we see any new members join The Gifted? For instance, like Goddiess, Max Storm, or Super Dude?” asks Hanks Hunter. “Sorry to interrupt this interview, but I have an important announcement to make. I’m quitting,” said Ms. Giant. “You’re quitting the team? Why?” asks Hank Hunter. Yes, why do you want to quit The Gifted. Vic…I mean, Ms. Giant?" asks Dr. Strong. "Yes, I’m quitting the superhero life because I want to go pursue my dream job, I want to be a supermodel," said Ms. Giant. "But we're a team," said Dr. Laser. "Yah, but can you get paid for being a superhero? Don't worry, I'll still help you guys when you need it, but goodbye for now," said Ms. Giant. Ms. Giant left the room. "Man, first she's a fat ass, and now she is thin and is going to try and get a modeling career. I hope her new looks haven’t gone to her head,” mumbled Dr. Laser. "Well, at least we're still a team, I hope," said Dr. Strong. “And we ran out of film after you said all that nonsense. Darn it, I’m so going to get fired,” said Hank Hunter. “Come on, Dr. Laser. We need to stop her from leaving,” said Dr. Strong. “Okay. Hank and the Channel 11 crew, you all leave too before we wipe your memories. Okay,” said Dr. Laser. “Can, they do that? Wipe our memories. Should we ask our legal department about that?” asks Hank Hunter. Dr. Strong and Dr. Laser left to look for Ms. Giant before she could leave The Gifted’s headquarters. Little did our heroes know was that Pixie was watching them. "They are the wielders of fairasha in this realm. If I could control those guys, this puny dimension will be mine," said Pixie. Then Pixie starts laughing evilly. 

A few days later, alone in the newly built Gifted headquarters, Dr. Strong was working out when suddenly Pixie made himself known. "Who the heck are you?" yells Dr. Strong. "I'm Pixie, and I want you and your team to help me take over this world," yelled Pixie. "Sorry, but I'm a superhero," yelled Dr. Strong. "Not for long," said Pixie. Then Pixie put a collar on Dr. Strong as he struggles to pull of the collar. "Now, you will work for me," said Pixie. Pixie pulls out a remote control, and soon Dr. Strong is hypnotized and becomes a mindless husk of his former self. "That collar will hypnotize you into working for me, what do you think of that, eh,” said Pixie. "I will help you, my master," said Dr. Strong. Dr. Strong kneels before Pixie. "Now, I just need the other two," said Pixie. Meanwhile, in a studio in downtown Action City, there is a photo shoot with Ms. Giant as she lives her lifelong dream of being a supermodel. Ms. Giant flaunts her new appearance as she will soon be featured in magazines across the world. Ms. Giant, the once shy awkward obese young woman, has transformed into a sex symbol. On the other side of town, Dr. Laser is at an arcade. Dr. Laser while in the middle of a game, gets a call from his communicator. “Oh no, Dr. Strong is in trouble,” said Dr. Laser. Dr. Laser leaves the arcade and rushes to the studio where Ms. Giant’s photoshoot is happening. Ms. Giant poses in front of the camera wearing the best 80’s fashion has to offer. Dr. Laser blasts the camera with his heat vision as the photographer runs away in fear. Ms. Giant walks over and slaps Dr. Laser. "What are you doing here?" asks Ms. Giant. "Look, you need to come with me, now," said Dr. Laser. "But I'm working right now, just go away," said Ms. Giant. "Well, okay, I guess you don't want to save the world anymore, so long, zero," said Dr. Laser. Ms. Giant strokes her hair and states “It’s not like that, I’ve never been beautiful before,”. Dr. Laser places his hand on Ms. Giant’s shoulder. “Look Vicky, who said that you weren’t beautiful before? Right now, I’m going to help our mentor, don’t forget your roots, you’re more than a beauty, you got a brain too,” said Dr. Laser. Then Dr. Laser leaves the studio and makes his way back to The Gifted's headquarters. Dr. Laser enters The Gifted’s headquarters and sees it’s in disarray. "Hey Bob, I'm back," said Dr. Laser. Soon Dr. Strong comes out and knocks Dr. Laser out with one strong solid super punch. Dr. Laser awakes later only to see he is wearing one of Pixie's collars in a split second and is also under Pixie's control. "Now, let's destroy Action City shall we," said Pixie. Off they all go to the city and our heroes are doomed, for now! Pixie is using Dr. Strong and Dr. Laser to destroy the city. As Ms. Giant brushes her hair, all alone in the studio, she hears the news over the radio that her teammates are causing chaos in the city. Ms. Giant looks at herself in the mirror and sighs. “They need me,” said Ms. Giant. Ms. Giant puts on her domino mask and rushes to rescue her teammates deep in the streets of Action City. Ms. Giant arrives onto the scene as she witnesses her teammates wreaking havoc upon the city. Ms. Giant spots Pixie up in the air as she sees the puppet master at work controlling her friends to do his evil deeds. Ms. Giant grows taller and grabs Pixie. "You can't win, because your friends are under my control," yells Pixie. "Well, little did you know I went to the library, and I found a way to stop you," responds Ms. Giant. "Yah, how can you stop me?" said Pixie. "Og kcab emoh" cries Ms. Giant. The only way to stop Pixie is to say "Og kcab emoh" which is go back home backwards. With those words, the portal opens and Pixie is sucked into it. "Wait, I lost, I'll get you next time Gifted, I swear it," yells Pixie. Ms. Giant removes the collars that hypnotized Dr. Strong and Dr. Laser as they slowly regain their free will. "Wow, you saved us, Ms. Giant," said Dr. Laser. "Hey, we're a team after all," said Ms. Giant. The citizens of Action City cheered as The Gifted celebrated their victory. The Gifted are once again back together, stronger than ever. Back at The Gifted's headquarters a couple days later, Ms. Giant is in her room reading a fashion magazine, when suddenly, Dr. Laser comes in. "Oh, what do you want?” asks Ms. Giant. "Hey, I just wanted to say I was sorry for calling you fat before, and that Dr. Strong and I don't mind you going back to the modeling business," said Dr. Laser. "Well, apology accepted, and I want to be a member of The Gifted," said Ms. Giant. “But it’s always been your dream to be a model, you’re going to give that up?” asked Dr. Laser. Ms. Giant laughs and says “I’m not giving up my modeling career. I can be both a hero and a supermodel. And a scientist as well,”. Dr. Laser throws a soda at Ms. Giant. Dr. Laser opens a soda and says “Cheers,”. Ms. Giant throws the soda back at Dr. Laser. “Sorry, I gave sugar up. I’ve been given a great gift, and I don’t want to lose it,” said Ms. Giant. Then an alarm goes off, and Dr. Strong comes running into Ms. Giant's room. "The Gifted are needed, a bank robbery is happening at the Action City bank, let's go," yells Dr. Strong. Action City is safe, for now! 

Elsewhere, at a government base just on the outskirts of Action City, General J. and his top agent Max Storm look over files on superheroes in Action City. “So, about this group called The Gifted. How trustworthy do you feel they are?” asks General J. Max Storm adjusts his sunglasses and states, “I would be more trusting if I knew their real identities,”. General J. lights up a pipe and smokes it. “Um, here’s the thing. We funded the creation of these yahoos. We know what gives them their powers,” says General J. Max Storm strokes his chin. “So, you’re saying that we know who they really are and funded their creation? Who are they?” asks Max Storm. General J. takes another puff from his pipe and blows some smoke. “They were three research scientists at Action City Academy, working on Chemical G1, and now here’s your mission, Agent Storm, bring me a sample of Chemical G1,” said General J. “What are we going to do with Chemical G1, sir?” asks Max Storm. “Why make super soldiers of course, oh and one more thing, they also got a large donation in their research from Henry Q. Corp, which brings us too…,” said General J. Then Henry Quinten himself, the billionaire tech guru founder of Henry Q. Corp, the corporation which bears his name, enters the room. “Nice to finally meet you Agent Storm, if you succeed in your mission, you will be greatly rewarded,” said Henry Quinten. “How did you get that scar over your eye? That scar, it looks like an X,” says Max Storm. Henry Quinten pats Max Storm on the shoulder and says, “They don’t call me X-Eye for nothing. I got this shiner back in Vietnam. A tiger clawed me right in the eye,”. Max Storm clears his throat and reaches his hand out to shake Henry Quinten’s hand. “You served in Vietnam? I don’t buy that,” said Max Storm. Henry Quinten chuckles and says, “Oh but I did, and tell my old war buddy Dr. Bob Scott that I said hi. He’ll know who I am,”. A robotic bodyguard enters and whispers into Henry Quinten’s ear. Henry looks at his watch and says, “Sorry gentlemen, but I must go. I have a campaign rally to attend, my own, because I will be Senator of this fair state, I don’t like to lose,”. Henry and his robotic bodyguard exit, General J. hands Max Storm some paperwork. “Well, he doesn’t have my vote. So, who is Dr. Bob Scott?” asks Max Storm. General J. takes another puff from his pipe and smiles. “Why, he’s the man who created Chemical G1, Dr. Strong himself,” said General J. “I won’t fail you. I will bring you Chemical G1, but know this, if we’re making super soldiers, I want to be the first,” said Max Storm. “Agent Storm, you sadly won’t be the first super soldier, you’ll be the fourth. Good luck and God bless America,” said General J. 

Later that night, Max Storm infiltrated The Gifted’s headquarters as he began his mission to steal a sample of Chemical G1. Max Storm explored the newly built headquarters which was filled with advanced technology and gadgets. Max found a room in the headquarters with a vault. “Bingo,” said Max Storm. Max Storm attempted to crack open the safe only to be laser blasted by Dr. Laser. Max Storm luckily didn’t die from the laser blast he was just knocked out cold. When he awoke a few hours later Max Storm was handcuffed to a pole as Dr. Strong, Dr. Laser, and Ms. Giant stood guard. “The police are on their way. What the heck are you doing here?” asked Dr. Strong. “Look, I’m Agent Storm. I work with the U.S. government. I just want a sample of Chemical G1 and that’s all,” said Max Storm. Dr. Strong laughed much to the confusion of Max Storm. “What’s so funny?” asked Max Storm. “We work for the government too. Who do you think funded the construction of this headquarters?” said Dr. Strong. Ms. Giant released Max Storm from his handcuffs. “Wait, you knew I was coming here, right?” asked Max Storm. General J. enters the room and salutes Max Storm. “Well, explain,” said Max Storm. General J. picks up a remote control and turns on a nearby big screen TV. “You see Max, you’ve been chosen to work alongside The Gifted to find other heroes around the world. The Gifted is growing and you’re joining the cause,” said General J. Max sees footage of different superheroes and supervillains on the big screen TV. “Why me? I have no powers,” asks Max Storm. Dr. Strong shows an old picture of himself and Max’s father in Vietnam. “You knew my father?” asks Max Storm. “He was my best friend, and so was old X-Eye, before he stand me in the back,” said Dr. Strong. “Wait, so Henry Quinten really did serve in Vietnam? Tell me how he really got that scar over his eye then,” said Max Storm. “Your father, Henry, and I were on a mission to find a fabled powder that was said to hold great power. I later used a sample of that powder to make Chemical G1. Henry tried to double cross us, but he failed. He got the scar when a strange creature attacked him,” said Dr. Strong. Max chuckled and asked, “That strange creature wouldn’t have happened to be a werewolf, would it?”. Dr. Strong smiled and said, “That information is classified. Let’s just say, I knew your father was a legendary monster hunter. And I knew that his son continued the legacy,”. Max Storm paces around the room. “Look, you still haven’t answered my question, why me?” asked Max Storm. “Because if you can battle monsters, you can battle supervillains. So welcome to the team Max,” said Dr. Strong. Dr. Strong reaches his hand out to Max Storm and they shook hands. Just like that, Max became a member of The Gifted. Max Storm and The Gifted began their mission to find other super powered individuals to join their roster. As for Henry Quinten a.k.a. X-Eye, he lost his Senatorial election and was soon incarcerated for fraud and for running the largest criminal empire in Action City. Henry vows vengeance on The Gifted for capturing him and imprisoning him. The Gifted continue to protect Action City and all threats to it. That’s how The Gifted came to be. A tale for the ages. And it can only happen, in Action City. 

THE END

My Fun Day Featuring A Lot Of Mario!

I had a fun day today so far. I finally saw The Super Mario Galaxy Movie. Then I went out to lunch and I ate some pasta. Just as Mario would have wanted. Fun day!

Action Figure Art By Bucky Talk 2026 Part 2

 

I Think My Fortune Cookie Got It Wrong

 Or did it get it right? At least the food was good.

Bucky's Home Movie Mix: Basketball Fun

 

Bucky's World: Happy Easter From Henry Dog

 

Bucky91's Dog Show: Dawn of Woody Dog

 

How I Live and Learn With Improv

I love being creative. Be it through writing, toy photography, drawing, or acting. There’s one form of acting I love best and that’s the art of improv. The thing I like about improv that’s different from regular acting is that you literally make your scene up on the fly. Now, that might frighten some people, but I was never passionate about reading and memorizing scripts. With improv, there are no scripts, but there are rules. During my improv journey, I found that some things that made improv very difficult for me. First thing, I have Asperger syndrome, which is a high functioning form of autism. So, eye contact is a struggle for me due to this disability. Additionally, I struggle to read social cues. Last thing, my anxiety. My anxiety currently controls my life and makes it difficult to do things. Currently, my anxiety contributes to why I’ve been skipping improv classes lately. But more on that later. In addition to my mental struggles, there were the financial struggles due to the high costs of paying for the classes that I took. I would like to review my improv history and how improv taught me a few life lessons. I remember my first improv class. I was 14 when I started improv and class was held inside a small dance studio in a shopping mall called The Foundry in Barrington, IL. My teacher was nice and so were my classmates. Heck they even let my friend join me in class for free one time too, so I got to perform improv alongside my childhood friend for just one class. As I began to get comfortable with my peers and performing improv, eventually though, oh boy, did my attention seeking ways come out through improv. I will admit up front, in improv, I’m a stage hog. For two reasons, the attention, and the laughs. For me, silence is scary, but more on that later. After I finished the kiddie improv class at the small dance studio in Barrington, IL. 

It wouldn’t be until 2010 when I started attending classes at Metropolis Theater in Arlington Heights, IL. Metropolis truly became my first deep dive into improv as an adult. I was taught by my first true improv teacher Jeremy and met classmates who would eventually become the members of our improv team, Sunny Beijing. Sunny Beijing and I performed at Metropolis and even perform at Laugh Out Loud Theater in Schaumburg, IL. Along with taking classes with Sunny Beijing and performing alongside them at LOL, we all became close friends too. Slowly Metropolis transitioned to coaching my improv team instead of teaching classes for adults. As Metropolis today more puts their focus more on teaching children than adults. As my love for improv grew, I decided it was time to expand my education. I decided to attend classes at The Second City and iO Theater. I studied at a legendary Chicago theater, The Second City. I graduated their improv, acting, and writing programs. I love to tell people that I’m an alumnus of Second City because I studied where Chris Farley, Stephen Colbert, and countless other comedy legends got their start. Now, I never became a bigshot like them, but that’s cool. It was cool too that I was taught by people who knew them. I have had so many great teachers it is hard to keep track of them. One thing Second City taught me was how show business operates and how it’s truly not a 9 to 5, but a gig to gig. During classes at Second City and iO Theater, I learned that it’s good to not always be funny in improv. Usually, people think that improv always usually must be a comedy show or they’ll confuse it with a stand-up performance, which I blame on another theater called The Improv. The Improv theatre is more stand-up comedy based. Over the years, I created serious characters during improv scenes which people, to my shock, seem to like my more serious or straight-man characters in scenes more than my Chris Farley/Jack Black knock-off characters. It feels good to know that I have range as both an actor and improv performer. The Second City to me is both a place of fond memories and sadly, a place I’m scared to go back to. The reason I’m scared to go back to Second City is because of an email from a teacher who helped me and traumatized me at the same time. I used to perform in Second City’s Jam Sandwich, but after a email that rocked my world was sent to me, by someone that I respected, not anymore. 

My teacher was trying to help me out, tell me the rules, teach me, troubleshoot some potential complaints about me. Yet, how I interpreted the email made me sad and annoyed. Usually, I would send an email asking to sign up for an upcoming Jam Sandwich. Instead of a sure, ‘you in’ return email, I got an email back which basically read this is my playpen and you must follow my rules. My teacher called me a scared puppy, and I know he was right, that I am a scared puppy. I know the stage hog in me was rampant during my performances at Jam Sandwich. People who watched me told me I did good, and they weren’t in my family. But sadly, after that email, I returned to Metropolis to rejoin my team and had the bonus of a shorter commute. Now, back to why my anxiety, which is making improv difficult for me now. I have missed or skipped so many improv classes due to my emotions. In all honesty, I need to grow thicker skin. One thing I don’t like most of the time about taking classes is feedback and criticism. I focus more on the negatives than the positives, which when I hear bad criticism about me, I focus more on that, than the positive feedback I get from an improv scene I performed in. I have even left classes early because I couldn’t take the criticism anymore. Because I miss classes, I’m not a reliable team member. Even though I feel like my team still cares about me and we are friends, there’s a riff is slowly forming between me and my teammates. In some ways it brings back memories of the cursed Jam Sandwich email. At a recent performance at Laugh Out Loud Theater, we were playing a guessing improv game and our teammate struggled to guess the final clue. Now I admit up front, I flub a lot of guessing games. Many times, when the performer has been on stage for to long and when we are running out of time, it’s okay to give an obvious clue to move things along. I felt it was that time, but my group didn’t, so I was silenced when I tried to give a clue. They were probably right, but my mom and I felt that the silencing was a bit harsh. My anxiety makes me paranoid about if my team cares about me or are they fearful of me because I’m a bit of a wildcard. I still love performing improv when I can, and I still perform with my improv team Sunny Beijing. Who knows, maybe I will return to Second City or iO Theater someday. I even have thoughts of going to take classes at another Chicago theater called The Annoyance. I do love that when you perform an improv scene, it’s usually one and done. It might live on in a video on my YouTube channel or depending on how funny the scene was, I might write it as a sketch. But it’s nice when an improv scene is over, it’s over -never performed again. After an improv scene I performed in is over, my hindsight kicks in and says how I should have done things differently. Yet, in all honesty, it’s just in the past and the past already happened. All you can do is just learn from your mistakes and continue to improve your life. After all, there’s no improve without improv.

Odin Awakens

Where am I? Who dares awaken me from my endless slumber where I dream my endless dreams? You mortals don’t know who I am? No, I’m not Santa Claus! But Santa is a friend of mine and you will both go on the naughty list for this. I rule the realm of Asgard with an iron fist! Wait, you weak mortals don’t know what Asgard is? I created Asgard with my own two hands, alongside my brothers of course. You still don’t know who I am? Why, I’m Odin! What is this Marvel Comics you speak of? You’re saying that I should probably sue Marvel for copyright infringement and that I would have a pretty good legal case? Yet, you still haven’t answered my question of where I am damn it! What is this Microsoft and the box of X? Wait, you all were trying to make a new Xbox, and it somehow created a rift between realms. Can I return to Asgard now? You want me to tell you how to get to Asgard? Well, it’s high of above Midgard, then I need to cross the bridge called Bifrost and but if I go passed the IHOP on Danga Street I’ve gone too far. Of course, we have IHOP on Asgard because where else would Odin get his pancakes and breakfast samplers from? You’re telling me that you have no idea how to get me home and this Xbox is useless? Ugh, I guess I’m stuck here for a while. What’s that? Jesus Christ! Well, Jesus and L. Ron Hubbard shaved my beard once as a practical joke. Oh, and this is the weirdest shit you’ve heard so far from me today. Which religion is the correct one? Why do you think I would know such a thing? Fine, I’ll just order an Uber, F me!

Snake Oil Social Media Salesman

Hello, hello, come one, come all. Ladies and gentlemen of this small little town, see wonders beyond wonders. Scroll endlessly until your brain turns to rot. Think your kink is unique? Why on here, your kink is in sync. By which I mean I dare say that any and all fetishes known to man and to woman can be found on here. Like big asses? Like small asses? While on here, you’ll never get tired of asses. Like puppies? Well, there are some on here, but for some strange reason cats are literally all the cat’s meow. Feeling nostalgic for days gone by? Remember some cartoon from the 90’s that you thought that only you had remembered? Dare I say on here, you weren’t alone, because everybody remembers Rocko’s Modern Life on here! Wish to know what is real and what is fake? Well too bad, as it slowly turns your brain to rot, by using this wonder of the modern age, we will all soon be fake for goodness’s sake. What is this product of the modern age? It’s Instagram, sadly it’s Instagram. Even I, a humble snake oil salesman, have fallen for Zuckerberg’s con. The price is free for one and all. Yet, it will only cost you your data and your mortal soul. Plus, your innocence, your imagination, and sadly your attention span, um, give or take.

Macho Man Waiting In Line At Disney World

Oh yeah, waiting in line for Space Mountain. A 45-minute wait for me and you here today at Disney World. I’m here in Orlando defending my heavyweight title at SummerSlam. A dream is a wish your heart makes, when you’re fast asleep. Hey, no cutting in line butthead! Move it to the back or you’ll get body slammed! This is my one day off in years and you better believe old Randy wants to have a great time in the happiest place on Earth. I’ve got no strings, to hold me down, to keep me up, to…what did I say about cutting in line jerk? Move it to the back or else…oh I’m sorry, you have no legs. Forgive me, I get pretty riled up after eating too many Mickey Mouse ice cream bars. A spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down, the medicine go down, the medicine go…this line is too slow. I wanna be where the people are, singing and dancing, I wanna be part of your…oh no, what did I say about line cutting bro? You ain’t handicap, you ain’t fat, you ain’t a make a wish kid, you know what you are? You’re a line cutting bitch and you’re gonna get body slammed. I’ll throw you into the Carousal of Progress, and it won’t be a great big, beautiful tomorrow for you, but it will be for me. When you wish upon a star, you don’t know what a little bitch you are. Get over here line cutter and face the wrath of the Macho Man! As I thrust your head up Goofy’s ass! Oh yeah! Snap into a Slim Jim! Macho Maddess!