Sunday, March 1, 2026
HEAVENLY WRITERS GROUP (iO Theater Class Project)
INT. HEAVEN: MEETING ROOM-DAY
KYLE walks in holding copies of his manuscript and slips.
ROBERT A. HEINLEIN walks over and helps Kyle up.
HEINLEIN
Are you okay, that looked really
bad?
KYLE
I’m okay, I was clumsy in life and
I’m still clumsy in death.
HEINLEIN
Good, my name is Robert A. Heinlein
and welcome to the second annual
meeting of the Heavenly Writers
Group.
KYLE
Wait, you’re Robert A. Heinlein? As
in the guy that wrote Starship
Troopers?
HEINLEIN
Oh, you thought that I would be in
Hell now did you?
KYLE
Um, well, say, where are the other
writers?
HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSON, JOAN OF ARC, HP LOVECRAFT, JANE
AUSTIN, and HULK HOGAN enter and sit around the table.
HEINLEIN
Right on time. Let’s welcome our
new member...I didn’t catch your
name son?
KYLE
Hi, I’m Kyle. I used to go to a lot
of these back when I was alive. I
never became a successful writer.
But I always loved coming to these
to get some good feedback.
Joan of Arc stands up and pulls out her sword.
JOAN OF ARC
(Yelling)
I am Joan of Arc! I was burned at
the stake and now I wish to write
poetry!
Robert A. Heinlein walks over and tries to calm Joan down.
HEINLEIN
We’ve been over this Joan, you’re
not on the battlefield anymore.
Take your seat, but since you’re
already up. Would you like some
cookies and punch?
Joan runs over to the snack table and grabs a lot of cookies
and then drinks straight from the punch bowl.
HEINLEIN (O.S.) (CONT’D)
That punch was for the group Ms.
Joan of Arc!
Hans Christian Anderson slowly gets up and starts rubbing
Kyle’s shoulder.
HANS
(Shy)
Hi, I’m Hans Christian Anderson. I
love to write fairy tales. I wrote
The Little Mermaid. And I just...
Hans lays down on the table and puts his pen over his mouth
like a microphone.
HANS (CONT’D)
(Singing)
I want to be, part of your world!
Hans slowly sits back down.
HP Lovecraft grins and rubs a
black book.
HP LOVECRAFT
Hello, I am HP Lovecraft and I
write horror stories. With this
book in hand, I will summon
Cthulhu. All will go mad!
Robert A. Heinlein grabs the book out of HP Lovecraft’s hand
and throws it into a trash can.
HEINLEIN
How many times have I told you not
to read from that book?
HP LOVECRAFT
Four times Mr. Heinlein. But
please, I just really want to
summon Cthulhu.
HP Lovecraft makes puppy dog eyes and Robert A. Heinlein
slaps him.
HEINLEIN
Knock it off Lovecraft! Stop
looking at me with those puppy dog
eyes.
Jane Austin cracks open a beer and chugs it.
JANE AUSTIN
Sup, I’m Jane Austin. Author of who
gives a crap. And you can’t even
pay me to be here, nerds.
Hulk Hogan rips his shirt off and then puts on reading
glasses.
HULK HOGAN
Hello, brother, my name is Hulk
Hogan. In life, I was a
professional wrestler. But in
death, I just wanted to learn how
to write YA novels. I have this
killer idea...
Robert A. Heinlein bangs a gavel and then points his gavel at
Kyle.
HEINLEIN
We’ll get to you in a moment Mr.
Hogan. But let’s have our newest
member Kyle go first.
Kyle passes out his manuscript to everyone and then sits back
down.
KYLE
Okay, I wanted to share my latest
comedy sketch with you all.
Joan screams and pulls out her sword.
JOAN OF ARC
No comedy writers! Not after the
last one!
Joan stabs Kyle. Hulk Hogan and Jane Austin restrain Joan.
JANE AUSTIN
Calm down Joan! Take it easy lass!
HULK HOGAN
It’s okay, Joan! This new guy might
be funny, brother!
Kyle pulls the sword from out of his chest and turns towards
Robert A. Heinlein.
HEINLEIN
Are you okay Kyle? The last time we
had a comedy writer here, it didn’t
go well.
KYLE
I’m fine, luckily I’m already dead.
Who was the last comedy writer to
attend the group.
HEINLEIN
Lenny Bruce.
KYLE
You’re kidding? Lenny Bruce? Like,
one of the greatest comedians ever
Lenny Bruce?
HEINLEIN
We don’t talk about it. Now just
share your story and...
HP Lovecraft grabs his black book and reads from it. A
demonic laugh is heard.
HP LOVECRAFT
I did it! I did it! I summoned
Cthulhu!
Robert A. Heinlein, Kyle, Hulk Hogan, Joan, Hans, and Jane
Austin shake in fear.
CTHULHU (V.O.)
Foolish mortals! You have awakened
Cthulhu! Now then, prepare to go
into the mountains of madness
and...tell me how I can get an
agent!
Robert A. Heinlein clears his throat and looks up to the sky.
HEINLEIN
If you wanted to know how to get an
agent, we don’t know how either.
We’re a writers group for Christ’s
sake!
CTHULHU (V.O.)
Oh, then mind if I read aloud my YA
novel?
Hulk Hogan pushes Robert A. Heinlein aside.
HULK HOGAN
You write YA novels too?
CTHULHU (V.O.)
Yes, it is my life’s passion!
HULK HOGAN
Oh we got to let Cthulhu into the
group, brother! Please Heinlein!
Kyle looks at his watch.
KYLE
Sorry, I have to go. I volunteer at
the animal shelter up here in
heaven. Let’s just say that all
dogs really do get into heaven and
they all need to go poopy.
END
SUPERGIRL'S INTERVENTION (iO Theater Class Project)
INT. FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE-DAY
SUPERMAN, LOIS LANE, BATMAN, GREEN LANTERN, and SPIDERMAN sit
in a circle when SUPERGIRL enters and throws a beer bottle at
the wall.
SUPERGIRL
(Drunk)
Where’s my dog Krypto? And why are
all you jerks here?
Superman escorts Supergirl to an empty chair.
SUPERMAN
We’ve had enough. This is your
intervention, Supergirl. We’re
worried about you and your drinking
problem.
Supergirl turns her head and looks at Lois Lane.
SUPERGIRL
(Drunk)
Why is she here?
LOIS
Because Superman doesn’t have that
many friends. And I’m his
girlfriend.
SUPERGIRL
(Drunk)
Why is Spiderman here? He’s
literally from the Marvel Universe.
Get out of here, this is DC, nerd!
Spiderman clears his throat and pulls out a piece of paper.
SPIDERMAN
Supergirl, we are worried about
you. We love you. We want you to go
to rehab funded by Batman.
Batman looks over to Superman.
BATMAN
Why am I paying for her rehab?
SUPERMAN
Because you’re rich, remember?
BATMAN
I didn’t get rich by giving to
charity.
SUPERMAN
No, you got rich because your rich
parents are dead.
BATMAN
Dude, that’s mean! Your parents are
dead too.
SUPERMAN
Well, my evil Kryptonian parents
are dead. I still have Ma and Pa
Kent, my real parents.
BATMAN
I have Alfred.
SUPERMAN
You literally pay your butler to be
your foster father. Doesn’t that
seem odd?
BATMAN
(Crying)
Alfred loves me. Why are you such a
jerk?
Superman slaps Batman.
SUPERMAN
Enough, this is about Supergirl and
getting her sober and...oh God damn
it!
Supergirl drinks a beer and twerks in front of Green Lantern.
SUPERMAN (O.S.) (CONT’D)
Supergirl, please stop that! This
is serious!
GREEN LANTERN
No, please don’t stop, Supergirl.
I’m kind of digging this.
Green Lantern hands Supergirl some money.
SUPERGIRL
(Drunk)
I got some green from Green
Lantern.
Spiderman gets up.
SPIDERMAN
Hey guys, I should probably get
going. I mean I am owned by Marvel
and you can only have me here for
so long.
Superman whistles.
SUPERMAN
Enough! Let’s get back to...wait,
what the heck?
Supergirl makes out with STAN LEE who sits in a chair.
SPIDERMAN (O.S.)
Oh my God? God?
Stan Lee stops making out with Supergirl and then gives her
some cash.
STAN LEE
Thanks for that, Supergirl.
SUPERGIRL
(Drunk)
Anything for a fan, Stan?
Stan Lee slowly gets up from his chair.
STAN LEE
Stop this, my children. I’m Stan
Lee the creator of Marvel Comics
and...
Superman whispers into Stan Lee’s ear.
STAN LEE (CONT’D)
What’s that? I’m in the DC
Universe. Holy crap! I’m in Hell!
Stan Lee out!
Stan Lee runs away. Supergirl wraps her arms around Green
Lantern and Spiderman.
SUPERGIRL
(Drunk)
This intervention was pointless
once again, cuz. Come on boys,
let’s go get drunk at Chili’s.
Supergirl escorts Green Lantern and Spiderman out of the
room. Superman sighs and Lois Lane taps Superman’s shoulder.
LOIS
We forgot to tell her that we had
to rehome Krypto.
SUPERMAN
I know, but at least Krypto’s new
owner seems happy.
THE HULK lies on the ground and Krypto licks him.
THE HULK
Hulk love puppy! Hulk and puppy
going to be friends forever!
Superman, Lois Lane, and Batman laugh.
BATMAN
Oh that’s our Hulk!
LOIS LANE
Well, legally The Hulk is from
Marvel and we’re DC. But at least
Krypto is happy too!
SUPERMAN
And Supergirl still has a drinking
problem. We solved nothing once
again!
END
Thursday, February 5, 2026
How My Dogs Helped Me Cope With Life
Like every kid growing up I wanted a dog. My sisters and I would finally get our wish one very special Christmas. I remember the day when we picked up our dog Holly and brought her to my aunt and uncle’s house because my parents were on vacation. I remember asking the breeder what my new dog’s name is and the breeder said, “her name is whatever you want it to be”. What that breeder said told me stayed in my mind to this very day because when I was a kid, I could possibly name our first family dog, but as an adult it felt kind of messed up like she never felt any attachment to this wonderful dog and didn’t even give her a name.
As my family got Holly and my Grandparents got her sister Trixie, while Trixie got fattened up by my Grandparents, my dog Holly would go through Hell dealing with three children who would fight over her day and night. I would play rough with Holly for years and she would hide from me whenever I approached. Being the smart dog she was, Holly just hid under the bed and eventually I just give up. My sisters meanwhile would play dress up with Holly and she put up with it because she loved us. One memory that comes across my mind is when my dog Holly jumped off the top bunk of my bunkbed and landed on the ground below. She recovered quickly and didn’t need to go to the vet, but it still shocks my sister and I to the core that she made it out alive and uninjured.
I could go and on and on with recounting my life with Holly Dog, but here are four core memories of her that stick out in my mind.
Now this is going to be a little shocking, but the first memory was the day I helped my dog Holly bit the tail off my sister Nikki’s pet rabbit. I was feeling naughty that day and decided to cause a little mischief. While my mom and Nikki were cleaning the rabbits cage, the rabbit was out of his cage, and Holly was locked outside the room. I forgot to mention Holly is a miniature schnauzer, and schnauzers are bred to hunt vermin. My dog Holly had a high prey drive and once I opened the door to my sister Nikki’s bedroom with a free-range rabbit outside, all hell broke loose. Holly chased the rabbit all around my sister’s room and I shut the cage door so the rabbit couldn’t be safe inside it’s cage. Then the aftermath, Holly bit my sister’s pet rabbits tail clean off and I probably need to thank God she didn’t kill the rabbit. I’m not proud that happened and again, I matured a lot since then because I was a kid after all.
Second memory, I remember my sister Nina had a birthday party and she and her friends went on a scavenger hunt around the neighborhood. And as most of my family went to join my sister Nina, of course Holly wanted to come with us too. Only problem, Holly was trapped behind an electric fence and she kept trying to come towards us but was experiencing pain I don’t even want to imagine. Then my Dad got rid of the electric fence and now we had to deal with a dog who loved to run away.
Third memory, the day Holly killed the class hamster. I’ll keep it brief, my sister Nina got to watch her class hamster for the weekend, and wouldn’t you know it, my sister Nikki teased my dog Holly with the hamster but my dog Holly outwitted my sister Nikki and got the prize. Holly had blood all over her face and felt proud while my mom, my sisters, and my cousin looked on horrified. My sister Nina is still mad at both of us because my sister helped kill the class hamster and I was the idiot who told Nina’s class that our dog killed their beloved hamster. Either way, I jokingly think that with my sister Nikki causing the death of the class hamster, it makes us even for the death of her pet rabbit, but probably not. Holly was no monster. She is truly a saint because she was a loyal and caring dog.
Final memory, the day we had to put Holly down.
Holly lived a good 10 years with my mom after my parents divorced. I’ve been living with my dad at the time, but when we got the news that it was time, of course the whole family came to say goodbye. We had to be there for her, and of course it was a sad day for the Butler family. Holly of course was in a lot of pain and you know when you know it’s time. We all watched as Holly was put to sleep forever and that’s one of the saddest days of my life. After the death of Holly, a new dog would eventually fill the void and his name was Woody.
My best friend Woody Dog. I didn’t have many friends and I was going through a rough time in my life, fighting with my parents, getting arrested, etc. But it felt good to have a friend with me. Woody wasn’t a saint like Holly, in fact, I will admit up front, he was a jerk. As I tell people, Woody was raised by two a**holes and became an a**hole by default. Picking up Woody felt like you were Steve Irwin wrestling an alligator. Woody bit, nipped, and was wild. But he showed love to my dad and I, but he really loved my dad. Because my dad fed him a bagel every morning. And of course, Woody went from my cute little puppy and became a fat bearded floppy eared giraffe. I will always remember the day I got my dog Woody and how he and his siblings weren’t very fond of me. I almost considered taking his brother who was a little bit bigger because I am a big guy and though it be fun to have a big dog. But I chose Woody in the end because he was in my hands at the time. I brought Woody home in my winter hat and after surviving parvo, the rest is history.
Then my dad moved back to New Hampshire and took Woody with him. I moved back in with my mom by this time and we both agreed we really didn’t want a dog. I last saw Woody on his last birthday. You never know when the last time is the last time you see someone you love before they go. But in 2019, I got a call from my dad saying he put Woody down. I knew it was Woody’s time, the poor little bugger had stomach issues and bladder stones. You don’t want your friend to go through the pain. I cried that day and as I write this it still brings tears to my eyes. It’s hard losing your best friend and someone you thought of as your little brother. Yes, I know Woody was a dog, but dogs can be loved like people too.
Currently, I have my dog nephew Henry, a miniature schnauzer like Holly and my boy Woody. Henry reminds me of Woody a lot. How did Holly, Woody, and Henry help me cope with life in the end? Just by being the loyal loving companions that dogs were meant to be. Whenever you feel lonely, it feels good to have a furry friend sit next to you or on your lap. I’ll end my article with this memory of Holly. One day I felt sad and was crying in the bathroom. I don’t remember what I was crying about but I always remember this. I sobbing insanely next to my mom, that sweet little dog came up and reached out her paw like she said what’s wrong? Even though I put Holly through Hell as a child, that was the day I knew, Holly really loved me in the end. Because dogs are loyal, plain and simple.
WEIRD AL MUSICAL SERVICES (iO Theater Class Project)
INT. OFFICE BUILDING-DAY
A THIN BUSINESSMAN and an OVERWEIGHT BUSINESSMAN sit at a
board room table.
THIN BUSINESSMAN
Gee, this Big Pharma company needs
a catchy jingle for our new
medication. But writing original
music is hard.
OVERWEIGHT BUSINESSMAN
If only we could use a famous song
without paying the original
artists.
WEIRD AL (O.S.)
Now you can!
OVERWEIGHT BUSINESSMAN
Who said that?
WEIRD AL enters and plays his accordion. The Overweight
Businessman faints and the Thin Businessman scrams.
THIN BUSINESSMAN
Holy cow, it’s Weird Al!
Weird Al continues to play his accordion.
WEIRD AL
That’s right! You want to do a
parody song cover and do it fast?
No one can do it better than me,
Weird Al?
The Overweight Businessman wakes up and injects himself with
a shot.
OVERWEIGHT BUSINESSMAN
Oh, Weird Al. We’re a struggling
big pharma company and we have a
new weight loss drug that needs a
catchy jingle. But we can’t think
of anything original.
Weird Al laughs and rubs his long hair.
WEIRD AL
Oh that’s easy. With my parody song
writing powers, I just came up with
your new jingle.
The Overweight Businessman slowly loses weight.
OVERWEIGHT BUSINESSMAN
You did?
Weird Al plays his accordion again.
WEIRD AL
With my powers I can take the song
It’s Magic You Know by the band
Pilot and now make it about
Ozempic. There now you have a song.
Would you like another?
Thin Businessman laughs and the formally Overweight
Businessman, now thin, high fives Weird Al.
THIN BUSINESSMAN
Thanks Weird Al!
Weird Al whistles to summon a GIANT FLYING HAMSTER into the
board room.
Weird Al hops onto the back of the Giant Flying
Hamster and waves goodbye.
WEIRD AL
You’re welcome Big Pharma
executives. I’m Weird Al and I’m
affordable for any medication
commercial that needs a catchy
jingle without any of the hard
work it takes to come up with
something original. And remember,
it costs extra for me to be funny!
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Weird Al Musical Services For Big
Pharma Commercials. And yes, Weird
Al is still alive and he approves!
END
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