{***JOHN***}
HELLO, I’M
JOHN TETI, AND THIS IS THE A.V. CLUB SHOW. TODAY WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT WORLD
WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT!
[MONTAGE OF
WWE MATCHES)
(***JOHN***)
IN RECENT
YEARS, THE WWE’S RATINGS HAVE BEEN SLIPPING.
A FEW WRESTLING SCANDLES HAVE DRAWN NEGATIVE ATTENTION TO THE COMPANY.
BUT, YET, BELIEVE IT OR NOT WRESTLING FANS STILL EXIST, FOLKS. MOST OF THEM KNOW WRESTLING IS FAKE AND THEY
ENJOY IT ANYWAY. WWE IS THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN WHEN IT COMES TO WRESTLING,
BUT THERE ARE OTHERS WHO TRY TO TOPPLE THE GIANT.
(MONTAGE OF
TNA MATCHES)
(***JOHN***)
BESIDES WWE,
WE HAVE TNA. NO, IT DOESN’T MEAN WHAT YOU THINK, PERVERTS. TOTAL NONSTOP ACTION
WRESTLING A.K.A. THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD.
I AM AFRAID TO SAY, TNA IS NOT DOING SO WELL. HERE’S PROOF OF TNA’S STRUGGLES.
(MONTAGE OF
REALLY BAD TNA WRESTLING MOMENTS)
(***JOHN***)
THE FLEDLING
TNA MADE AN EFFORT TO BOOST RATINGS AND BRING ATTENTION THEMSELVES BY HIRING THE INFAMOUS WRESTLING ICON, HULK HOGAN.
(MONTAGE OF
OLD NON-WRESTLING HULK HOGAN CLIPS)
(***JOHN***)
TNA HIRED
HULK HOGAN TO REVIVE THE STRUGLLING PROMOTION.
THE OLD, INJURED WRESTLER REALLY COUND NOT BREATH LIFE BACK INTO TNA,
BUT INSTEAD WAS A HUGE FINANCIAL DRAIN.
IN THE END, HULK HOGAN SAW THE WRITING ON THE WALL AND JUMPED OFF THE
SINKING TNA SHIP. MANY OTHER TNA TALENTS
JUMPED SHIP AS WELL AND WENT TO WWE ALONG WITH A LOT OF FORMER WWE TALENT
HEADING TO TNA AFTER WWE FIRED THEM. BASICALLY BOTH SIDES TAKE TALENT FROM EACH
OTHER ALL THE TIME AND THE WRESTLERS USALLY GO BACK AND FORTH FROM WWE TO TNA
AND VICE VERSA.
(MONTAGE OF
CLIPS OF THE SAME WRESTLERS APPEARING IN BOTH WWE AND TNA SIDE BY SIDE WITH
EACH OTHER)
(***JOHN***)
SO IT APPEARS
THAT IF YOU WERE A WRESTLER, YOU WANT TO WORK FOR WWE RIGHT?
(MONTAGE OF
REALLY GREAT WWE MOMENTS)
(***JOHN***)
BUT THEN
AGAIN!
(MONTAGE OF
REALLY BAD WWE MOMENTS)
(***JOHN***)
YEAH, THAT
STUFF REALLY HAPPENED, AND YES WRESTLING FANS HAVE TO LIVE WITH THOSE MEMORIES
FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES. SOME
MEMORIES JUST LEAVE FANS SHAKING THEIR HEADS.
WHO RUNS THESE TWO WRESTLING GROUPS, YOU ASK? FOR TNA, IT IS DIXIE
CARTER. SHE IS VERY RICH, OR AT LEAST HER PARENTS ARE VERY WEALTHY. THE MAN WHO
RUNS WWE…
[VT-SOT:
VINCE MCMAHON “IT’S ME AUSTIN” CLIP)
(***JOHN***)
THAT GUY,
VINCE MCMAHON IS THE CHAIRMAN OF WWE. JUST KIDDING, IT’S ACTUALLY THIS GUY.
(VT-SOT:
TIRPLE H WALKING OUT TO THE RING TO HIS THEME SONG CLIP)
JUST KIDDING
AGAIN, THAT’S THE GUY WHO FANS WISH WAS RUNNING WWE. THAT IS TRIPLE H, VINCE
MCMAHONS’ SON IN LAW AND FORMER WWE CHAMPION.
AS FAR AS TNA GOES, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, FANS WANT THIS GUY TO RUN TNA
INSTEAD OF DIXIE CARTER.
(MONTAGE OF
SMASHING PUMPKINS MUSIC VIDEOS)
(***JOHN***)
THAT’S RIGHT,
BILLY CORGAN OF SMASHING PUMPKINS FAME. NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE KNOW THIS, BUT HE’S
A HUGE WRESTLING FAN AND ACTUALLY INVESTED IN TNA WRESTLING. BILLY EVEN BECAME
ITS PREISDENT. BUT, BILLY DON’T LIKE-A THE DIXIE CARTER BECAUSE SHE AND TNA HAVE-A
NO-A THE MONEY. SO AFTER SUING THEM, BILLY GONE AND NOW WE’RE STUCK WITH.
(MONTAGE OF
DIXIE CARTER IN TNA VIDEO CLIPS)
(***JOHN***)
WELL, GOD,
DOES ANY ONE REALLY WATCH TNA ANYMORE?
DOES TNA REALLY HAVE ANY FANS ANYMORE? LOOK, WRETSLING FANS, WE CAN’T
LET TNA DIE BECAUSE THEN WWE WOULD BE…
(VT-SOT: A
COMMERICAL FOR THE BOARD GAME MONOPOLY)
(***JOHN***)
YES, WWE
WOULD BE A MONOPOLY! WE NEED TNA TO LIVE!
PLEASE WATCH TNA ON WHATEVER NETWORK WILL TAKE THEM. COMPETITION IN THE MARKET PLACE IS GOOD. ONE
THING WRESTLING FANS KNOW IS THAT COMPETITION MAKES THE SPORT A HELL OF A LOT
BETTER, AND THAT’S WRESTLING IN A NUT SHELL.
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