LINCOLN (30s, male, overweight, nerdy) works at his computer. Lincoln smiles as he moves his computer mouse.
LINCOLN
Oh boy! The science fiction magazine, Atomic Brains, finally read my short story and emailed me back. Let’s see what they say...
Lincoln scrolls through the email as a frown slowly comes across his face.
LINCOLN
Rejected again, what else is new. But seriously, they could have just said no.
LUCY (30s, female, thin, hipster) knocks on the door and slowly enters.
LUCY
Hey Lincoln, did you hear back from that magazine?
LINCOLN
Yep, I did Lucy. And I heard a mouth full from the editor.
LUCY
I’m so sorry that you were rejected again Lincoln. Don’t worry there’s....
LINCOLN
I mean, why didn’t he just say I got rejected or just a simple no! I didn’t need his life story here.
LUCY
What?
LINCOLN
Just check out this email for yourself. This dude literally talks about how his wife just left him, the magazine’s sales are in the toilet, his computer broke....
LUCY
Wait, how did he write you back if his computer broke?
LINCOLN
Why would I give a crap either way? I’m just shocked that they would send a rejection letter in the first place.
Lucy pats Lincoln on the shoulder. Lincoln adjust his glasses.
LUCY
Well, better luck next time. I guess.
LINCOLN
Oh now he’s going into how he got rejected so many times and that’s why he created this magazine. Again, bro, just say I got rejected and move on!
LUCY
Did you ever hear back about that job interview at Lucky Luke’s Comic Shop?
LINCOLN
Oh God, that Lucky Luke man! Again, why don’t people just say no anymore. Is no really that hard to say?
SFX: DOG BARKING
A SMALL DOG runs into the room and Lucy picks the small dog up. Lincoln slaps his knee.
LUCY
Did you take Freddy out?
LINCOLN
(Laughing)
Oh man! Now this editor is sharing his most personal secrets. Lucy, I’m going to order a pizza because I’ll be here for a while reading this rejection letter.
LUCY
Okay, I will go take Freddy out again. Hey, would you like to...
LINCOLN
No!
LUCY
I didn’t even say what I wanted you to do? How can you say no?
LINCOLN
(Sad)
I just needed the emotional boost. I got rejected remember?
LUCY
I’m breaking up with you. I’ll send for my things.
Lucy exits and Lincoln pulls out his smart phone.
LINCOLN
Hello, yes, Magic Eddie’s Pizza & Pub. I would like one medium sausage pizza please. May I have some breadsticks with that? And a small cola? You have my credit card already on file and...oh, I see. Okay, sorry about that.
Lincoln hangs up his smart phone and throws it away.
LINCOLN
(Yelling)
My credit card got rejected! Too much rejection!
Lincoln’s computer dings and he opens up another email.
LINCOLN
Oh boy, the science fiction magazine Robot Rob’s just replied. Let’s see what they have to say...
Lincoln gives himself a high five and jumps up out of his chair. Lincoln starts to dance.
LINCOLN
My short story got accepted into Robot Rob’s science fiction magazine! I’m getting paid $20!
LUCY (O.S.)
(Screaming)
Oh no! Lincoln! Freddy got hit by a car!
LINCOLN
God damn it. Why is it when one good thing happens to me, another bad thing follows. I have the worst luck. But hey, I just got $20.
LUCY (O.S.)
Get away from Freddy you stupid hawk! Lincoln, get out here!
Lincoln pulls out a handgun from his desk.
LINCOLN
Don’t worry Freddy. I’m turning this negative into a positive! For you Freddy!
Lincoln storms out of his bedroom.
STAN LEE (V.O.)
So true believers! This is Stan Lee of Marvel Comics fame speaking. As both a writer and editor myself, you’ll always face rejection sometimes. Both in your career and in life. But you have the power to make a positive into a negative! I have no idea why I’m here either other than the fact that I just love to make random cameos in things!
END
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