Snake Oil Social Media Salesman

Hello, hello, come one, come all. Ladies and gentlemen of this small little town, see wonders beyond wonders. Scroll endlessly until your brain turns to rot. Think your kink is unique? Why on here, your kink is in sync. By which I mean I dare say that any and all fetishes known to man and to woman can be found on here. Like big asses? Like small asses? While on here, you’ll never get tired of asses. Like puppies? Well, there are some on here, but for some strange reason cats are literally all the cat’s meow. Feeling nostalgic for days gone by? Remember some cartoon from the 90’s that you thought that only you had remembered? Dare I say on here, you weren’t alone, because everybody remembers Rocko’s Modern Life on here! Wish to know what is real and what is fake? Well too bad, as it slowly turns your brain to rot, by using this wonder of the modern age, we will all soon be fake for goodness’s sake. What is this product of the modern age? It’s Instagram, sadly it’s Instagram. Even I, a humble snake oil salesman, have fallen for Zuckerberg’s con. The price is free for one and all. Yet, it will only cost you your data and your mortal soul. Plus, your innocence, your imagination, and sadly your attention span, um, give or take.