Odin Awakens

Where am I? Who dares awaken me from my endless slumber where I dream my endless dreams? You mortals don’t know who I am? No, I’m not Santa Claus! But Santa is a friend of mine and you will both go on the naughty list for this. I rule the realm of Asgard with an iron fist! Wait, you weak mortals don’t know what Asgard is? I created Asgard with my own two hands, alongside my brothers of course. You still don’t know who I am? Why, I’m Odin! What is this Marvel Comics you speak of? You’re saying that I should probably sue Marvel for copyright infringement and that I would have a pretty good legal case? Yet, you still haven’t answered my question of where I am damn it! What is this Microsoft and the box of X? Wait, you all were trying to make a new Xbox, and it somehow created a rift between realms. Can I return to Asgard now? You want me to tell you how to get to Asgard? Well, it’s high of above Midgard, then I need to cross the bridge called Bifrost and but if I go passed the IHOP on Danga Street I’ve gone too far. Of course, we have IHOP on Asgard because where else would Odin get his pancakes and breakfast samplers from? You’re telling me that you have no idea how to get me home and this Xbox is useless? Ugh, I guess I’m stuck here for a while. What’s that? Jesus Christ! Well, Jesus and L. Ron Hubbard shaved my beard once as a practical joke. Oh, and this is the weirdest shit you’ve heard so far from me today. Which religion is the correct one? Why do you think I would know such a thing? Fine, I’ll just order an Uber, F me!

Snake Oil Social Media Salesman

Hello, hello, come one, come all. Ladies and gentlemen of this small little town, see wonders beyond wonders. Scroll endlessly until your brain turns to rot. Think your kink is unique? Why on here, your kink is in sync. By which I mean I dare say that any and all fetishes known to man and to woman can be found on here. Like big asses? Like small asses? While on here, you’ll never get tired of asses. Like puppies? Well, there are some on here, but for some strange reason cats are literally all the cat’s meow. Feeling nostalgic for days gone by? Remember some cartoon from the 90’s that you thought that only you had remembered? Dare I say on here, you weren’t alone, because everybody remembers Rocko’s Modern Life on here! Wish to know what is real and what is fake? Well too bad, as it slowly turns your brain to rot, by using this wonder of the modern age, we will all soon be fake for goodness’s sake. What is this product of the modern age? It’s Instagram, sadly it’s Instagram. Even I, a humble snake oil salesman, have fallen for Zuckerberg’s con. The price is free for one and all. Yet, it will only cost you your data and your mortal soul. Plus, your innocence, your imagination, and sadly your attention span, um, give or take.

Macho Man Waiting In Line At Disney World

Oh yeah, waiting in line for Space Mountain. A 45-minute wait for me and you here today at Disney World. I’m here in Orlando defending my heavyweight title at SummerSlam. A dream is a wish your heart makes, when you’re fast asleep. Hey, no cutting in line butthead! Move it to the back or you’ll get body slammed! This is my one day off in years and you better believe old Randy wants to have a great time in the happiest place on Earth. I’ve got no strings, to hold me down, to keep me up, to…what did I say about cutting in line jerk? Move it to the back or else…oh I’m sorry, you have no legs. Forgive me, I get pretty riled up after eating too many Mickey Mouse ice cream bars. A spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down, the medicine go down, the medicine go…this line is too slow. I wanna be where the people are, singing and dancing, I wanna be part of your…oh no, what did I say about line cutting bro? You ain’t handicap, you ain’t fat, you ain’t a make a wish kid, you know what you are? You’re a line cutting bitch and you’re gonna get body slammed. I’ll throw you into the Carousal of Progress, and it won’t be a great big, beautiful tomorrow for you, but it will be for me. When you wish upon a star, you don’t know what a little bitch you are. Get over here line cutter and face the wrath of the Macho Man! As I thrust your head up Goofy’s ass! Oh yeah! Snap into a Slim Jim! Macho Maddess!

Bucky's Toy Tales: Toy Dinosaur Puppet Show

 

Bucky Talk Presents: I Finally Went To The Annoyance Theatre

Life goal achieved! I finally took a class at The Annoyance Theatre in Chicago. It was a great first class overall and it feels good to accomplish a life long goal. Anyway, here's a selfie of me on my first day of class. My comedy training keeps growing.

 

Action Figure Art By Bucky Talk 2026

 

Bucky's Toy Tales: Silver Surfer Wins?