(At the bar, Mike is shaking nervously while Wendy
is trying to calm him down)
MIKE
I can’t do this!
WENDY
Yes you can, Mike!
MIKE
You don’t understand,
Wendy. I suffer from really bad stage fright. I can’t perform tonight without
my lucky charm.
WENDY
What’s your lucky charm?
MIKE
I rather not talk about
it, but I always keep it in my pocket for good luck in every show.
WENDY
So, when was the last time
you saw and used your so-called lucky charm?
MIKE
I don’t remember, plus I’m
a little buzzed right now if you catch my drift.
(John
walks drunkenly back from the bathroom and sits down back at the bar with Mike
and Wendy)
JOHN
(DRUNK)
I’m back! I ate tacos for
lunch! You don’t believe me? Exhibit A is all over the men’s room wall! Mike,
probably best not to use the men’s bathroom, pal. It’s stinky!
WENDY
Oh, hello John, do you
have any advice for Mike on how to deal with his stage fright?
JOHN
(DRUNK)
Booze! Shit ton of booze,
Mike! That’s my secret! Mike, you just need a little liquid courage, man! Like
for talking to beautiful women! Like for that one coming towards us! Hey lady,
you looking fine, girl!
(Bob the Bartender walks pass John, Wendy, and
Mike)
JOHN
(DRUNK)
Did you see her knockers,
Mike? They were huge!
BOB THE BARTENDER
(OFFSTAGE)
I don’t have big tits! Do
I?
MIKE
I wish I could find my
lucky charm!
FAIRY KIND
(OFFSTAGE)
Did somebody say wish!
(Fairy
Kind and Fairy Nice enter and Mike looks excited)
MIKE
Who are you?
FAIRY KIND
Hello Mike. My name is
Fairy Kind. I’m your fairy godmother. Here to grant your wish!
WENDY
Who’s your friend, Fairy
Kind?
FAIRY NICE
(MANIC)
I’m Fairy Nice, an intern
at Magic Co. Someday I’ll get my wings, someday!
JOHN
(DRUNK)
Hey, do I get a wish too?
FAIRY KIND
No John, I’m just Mike’s
fairy godmother. Now Mike, you wish to have your lucky charm returned to you?
Do you not?
MIKE
Yes, can you do it?
FAIRY KIND
Of course, but first you
must use find your special gift and use it to make the world ever so better!
MIKE
What the hell! Can you at
least tell me my special gift! A clue would be nice!
FAIRY KIND
No child, I’m afraid you
have to find out what your special gift is for yourself.
MIKE
Crap.
WENDY
Maybe you’ll find your
special gift during our show. I’ll go get Bill, Lucy, and Emma.
(Three
gunshots are heard and Bob the Bartender comes out holding a gun)
BOB THE BARTENDER
Um, Bill, Lucy, and Emma
wanted me to tell you guys that they couldn’t make it tonight for the show.
Something happened.
WENDY
What happened?
BOB THE BARTENDER
Um, shit happened! Along
with being a bartender, I’m also a struggling actor. Can I be in the show?
WENDY
All right I guess you can
be in the show, Bob. But we still need two other actors.
MIKE
How about the fairies?
FAIRY KIND
Oh why not. I haven’t
performed since my school play, but I’ll give it a go!
FAIRY NICE
(MANIC)
I’ll do anything Fairy
Kind does. Performing may get me my wings.
MIKE
Cool, but wait, I don’t
have my lucky charm. I can’t perform! What am I going to do?
FAIRY KIND
I can help you with that!
(Fairy
Kind pulls out a bottle of booze)
FAIRY KIND
Drink from this magic
bottle and you will gain the courage you need!
(Mike
sighs and begins drinking from the bottle of booze)
JOHN
(DRUNK)
Yeah! Let’s dance!
(Everybody
except Mike who is still drinking dances as the lights begin to go out)
(Blackout.)
No comments:
Post a Comment