Wednesday, January 6, 2021

All Hail The King (Flashpoint Class Project)

EXT. CASTLE GROUNDS-DAY

An overweight king stands on a stage as a crowd cheers “All Hail the King

People are celebrating and cheering “all hail the king” but one guy named STAN, a thin young man, starts to cough a little.

The people all turn around to notice Stan isn’t celebrating with them. The King looking annoyed stares at Stan in the crowd.

KING

Young man, why aren’t you celebrating?

Stan looks back at the king awkwardly and coughs again.

STAN

Sorry, I have a little plague cough. But in all honesty, why are we celebrating right now?

The crowd begins to stare at Stan as The King looks confused.

STAN

I mean, our king kind of sucks. So why do we like this guy again?

The King looks visibly angry as the crowd looks scared. But Stan slowly walks closer to the stage.

STAN

I mean, why do we say all hail the king? Why do we even have a king?

KING

That’s the way it has always been young man.

STAN

Guys, I mean, our king killed a lot of people for stupid reasons like my sister, and Frank, he killed your son Mike, right?

Frank makes a gesture like “don’t look at me” as Stan gets deeper into the crowd.

STAN

You know who else people hailed, Hitler. He wasn’t a great guy too.

The crowd starts to gather their touches and pitchforks as Stan sighs.

STAN

Why do we need a monarchy anyway, we should have a democracy instead and...you’re all going to kill me now, aren’t you?

KING

Get him!

The crowd starts to attack Stan as The King starts to dance. Off in the distance we see GEORGE WASHINGTON, based on the real historical figure, emerging from off screen.

GEORGE

Hello, I’m George Washington and this is exactly why in America we have no kings and...

DONALD TRUMP, based on the real person, enters Tweeting on his phone next to George Washington.

GEORGE

Excuse me, who are you?

DONALD

President Trump, quiet Grandma, I’m tweeting.

GEORGE

Like a bird? And you said you were president of where?

DONALD

America, duh. The election is rigged. Fake news.

GEORGE

I have no idea what that means, but seriously, you’re the current president?

DONALD

Yep. The election is rigged. Fake news.

GEORGE

Who was the president before you?

DONALD

Some black guy who pissed me off.

GEORGE

Black guy, you don’t mean...oh god! Oh lord what happened to my vision.

DONALD

And people think I’m racist.

GEORGE

Shut up! Whether it be a monarchy or a democracy, we’re screwed apparently.

DONALD 

I’m tweeting that you’re a loser.

GEORGE

Go ahead, I have to fix up this mess.

DONALD

I thought that was Biden’s job.

GEORGE

Who’s Biden?

DONALD 

Oh sleepy Joe, he’s alright I guess and his Vice President Kamala Harris...

GEORGE

Vice President Kamala Harris? What does he do?

DONALD

She’s actually a black woman. About a 7.

GEORGE

Oh fuck no.

DONALD

Again, what’s with this racist stuff Grandma?

STAN (O.S.)

They’re going to cut off my head.

GEORGE

Don’t care! God I’m feeling so many mixed emotions right now.

Stan’s head rolls over towards them and Donald takes a picture of Stan’s head as George sighs. 

GEORGE

Damn it all! These were new shoes too.

DONALD

I guess history and government has always been fucked up, huh.

GEORGE

Pretty much and everyone remember to vote.

DONALD

For me!

GEORGE 

How do people even like you? Just vote in a democracy because...

DONALD

It’s rigged either way.

GEORGE

Will you just shut up.

END


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