Monday, February 1, 2016

On Vacation (Second City Class Sketch)!

(Bob Job is moping around his living room)

                       BOB JOB
                          (SAD)
Why! Why did they do this to me! Why…

(Bob Job begins sobbing when his wife Wendy enters)

                        WENDY JOB
Bob, what’s wrong and why are you home early from work?

                        BOB JOB
                           (SAD)
Oh Wendy it’s terrible, my boss…he…he…

                         WENDY JOB
                            (SCREAMING)
BOB! YOU WERE FIRED!

                         BOB JOB
                            (SAD)
He made me take a two-week vacation and I really just want to go back to work!

(Bob Job continues sobbing and Wendy Job looks pissed off)

                         WENDY JOB
                             (ANGRY)
Seriously! You’re sad because you don’t have to work at the deli for two weeks!

                       



                      BOB JOB
                           (YELLING)
But Wendy! Making sandwiches is my life! I enjoy it so much! Damn it, I’m cutting my vacation short and I’m demanding my boss to let me go back to work again!

(Bob Job begins to leave in a huff but Wendy Job grabs his arm)

                        WENDY JOB
                           (YELLING)
Hold it, you’re not going back to work, Bob. You stay here and enjoy your vacation or else!

                        BOB JOB
Or else what?

                        WENDY JOB
I’ll tell your boss that you’ve been stealing pastrami from the deli for years!

                         BOB JOB
No, please don’t tell my boss I steal his pastrami, I don’t want to make him upset! Getting fired is an even worse fate than vacation! Okay, I’ll continue my vacation!

                         WENDY JOB
Good!
(Wendy Job releases Bob Job’s arm and he heads towards the kitchen)

                         WENDY JOB
                            (YELLING)
DON’T YOU DARE HEAD TO THE KITCHEN! NO COOKING ON YOUR VACATION!

(Bob Job slowly sits down on his couch)

                        BOB JOB
                          (ANNOYED)
I’m on the couch! Now what do I do?

                        WENDY JOB
Whatever you want!

(Bob Job picks up a newspaper and begins reading it)

                        WENDY JOB
There, you’re vacation begins! I’ll get dinner started while you’re reading the funnies!

(Wendy Job exits while Bob Job is reading his newspaper)
                                      
                       BOB JOB
                         (LAUGHING)
HA! Beetle Bailey is sleeping again. When will he learn!

(Bob Job drops the newspaper and out of nowhere begins sobbing)

(Wendy Job renters and she looks annoyed)

                       WENDY JOB
                           (ANNOYED)
What now?

                       BOB JOB
                          (CRYING)
I’m bored! And Marmaduke isn’t funny this week.

(Wendy Job sighs and pulls out her smartphone)

                       WENDY JOB
Okay! I figured it out! I just ordered us tickets to Las Vegas and the flight is tomorrow! Now, you can have an even better vacation!

                       BOB JOB
Okay, can Mr. Stuffs come with us?

                       WENDY JOB
NO! I need a vacation from that damn dog…oh we need to get Mr. Stuffs a dog sitter. Is your brother, Andy, available to watch him while were away?

                     
                       BOB JOB
               
Honey! Hello! Andy was the one who told me to take the vacation in the first place. One of the Job brothers has to run the J Bros. Deli.
                    

                      WENDY JOB
Crap! All right I’ll call my sister instead. She loves Mr. Stuffs! Now, start packing!

                       BOB JOB
                         (WHILE EXITING)
Hear that Mr. Stuffs! Your Aunt Lisa’s coming to watch you while Mommy and Daddy are away in Vegas!

(Bob Job exits and Wendy Job pulls out her cellphone)

                      WENDY JOB
                          (WHILE ON THE PHONE)
Hey Mrs. Appledeen, unfortunately, I can’t come to work tomorrow. My husband and I are heading to Vegas. Yes, I know, I used up all my vacation days. Ok, I understand that you have to fire me.  Peace out, you old hag.

(Wendy Job hangs up her phone)

                      WENDY JOB
                            (TO HERSELF)
At least I’m glad one of us wants to work!
                            (TO HER HUSBAND)
Hey, honey, I have great news about my job…

                       (Blackout.)

                               






              

                            

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