STING
Man, Vader. I’m not sure if being
bought out by Turner Broadcasting System, Inc. is going to help us or destroy
us?
VADER
Well Sting, I guess since WCW would
have gone belly up if this merger had not gone through, don’t ya think it will
help us?
TED TURNER
(OFFSTAGE)
Now boys, you’re both in good hands!
STING & VADER
(AT THE SAME TIME)
Who said that?
(Ted Turner enters and Sting and Vader are in awe of
him)
STING
Wow, Ted Turner! So I guess I’ll
introduce myself. My name is…
TED TURNER
Hold it, I’m good with names, you’re
Sting and he’s Vader!
STING & VADER
Wow!
TED TURNER
You see Sting and Vader, WCW is a part
of the Turner Broadcasting System, Inc. family and we treat our family good!
VADER
Wow, Fred Flintstone’s my brother now right?
TED TURNER
That’s right Vader. WCW and Hanna-Barbera
Productions are now sister companies under me! So you’re not only brothers with
Fred Flintstone, but also you’re related to Scooby Doo and Hong Kong Phooey too!
VADER
Wow!
STING
Hold up, I guess it’s kind of cool
being a part of the same company as Hanna-Barbera, but we’re wrestling company
based in Atlanta, Georgia. How can we compete on a global scale? I
mean your cable channels broadcast all over the world. Does the world even want
to watch us little old southern wrestlers?
TED TURNER
Sting, WCW has been one of the highest
rated shows on TBS before we decided to officially merge with you. Since the
merger I feel it will continue to be one of the highest rated shows. Now we can
put WCW shows on all my cable channels.
VADER
Like CNN?
TED TURNER
Well maybe, if there’s a major
headline or if Sting and you wrestle for the title maybe?
VADER
COOL!
STING
But what do the old timers think, Mr.
Turner? I mean they might not like our brand being a part of your hip and
happening brand! Besides most old people aren’t that good at learning new
technologies and cable is pretty complicated.
TED TURNER
I could tell you myself, but I think
I’ll let wrestling legend Harley Race explain further…
(Harley
Race enters)
HARLEY RACE
Sting, there comes a time when a
company must evolve and look to the future. It’s good that companies still reflect
on their past, but really they should also have an eye for the future. So, for a
company to evolve doesn’t mean they must forget their past, they simply must also
keep up with the times. What company isn’t keeping up with the times like Turner
Broadcasting System, Inc.? Right Ted!
TED TURNER
Right Harley Race!
HARLEY RACE
Okay Ted, now if you excuse me I have
to get home and watch Cartoon Network. You see Sting, even an old timer like me,
Harley Race, is hip and happening! Well, I’m missing 2 Stupid Dogs and all of the other wonderful programing on Cartoon
Network! See ya later fellas!
(Harley Race dances as he exits the scene)
STING & VADER
(AT THE SAME TIME)
Wow!
TED TURNER
So, now you
see fellas! We’re not the enemy, we’re your friend! With my company as your new
owner, I’m sure WCW will always be the champions of wrestling! Now any other
questions before I go?
STING
You won’t
tell anyone that Vader and I were hanging out together, right? I mean we’re
supposed to be enemies and it’ll really hurt the fans feelings if they find out
we are friends in real life!
TED TURNER
Your
secrets are safe with me! Under Turner, confidentiality is taken seriously! We
care about privacy! Now, I’ll let you both continue to prepare for your match
tonight. Which, as always and forever more, will be broadcast on TBS on
Saturdays on 6:30! Play fair boys!
STING & VADER
We will!
TED TURNER
I knew WCW
employees were gentlemen! Unlike your brothers at Hanna-Barbera! Those guys are nutty!
VADER
Don’t talk bad about my brother, Fred Flintstone! Or is he my sister? Can you
explain more, Mr. Turner about being a sister company!
STING & TED TURNER
Oh Vader!
(Sting,
Vader, and Ted Turner begin to laugh and then they all give the audience a
thumbs up)
(Blackout.)
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