Sunday, July 12, 2015

Michael and Jordan’s day off (Second City Class Sketch Version)!


ACT I

 

Michael and Jordan are scientists that work for a robot company. Michael is a bald African American who wears glasses, and Jordan is a white man with brown buzz-cut hair. Today is their day off, so they are going to the beach.

 

                                                   Michael

 

Hey, why are we going to the beach anyway?

 

                                                      Jordan

 

Well, we are going to try to catch a Giant squid and sell it for money

 

                                                      Michael

 

But this is our only day off

 

                                                Jordan

 

You do know we’re self-employed, right? We can have a day off whenever we want stupid.

 

                                                   Michael

 

Also, if we build robots for living, why would we try to catch Giant squid anyway?

 

                                              Jordan

 

Look, obviously the guy who’s writing this sketch has writer’s block and is just using an old short story he had written before…Oh, right, probably shouldn’t break the fourth wall, huh?  Basically, we need the money because we need to pay back the Japanese mafia for failing to make properly working gangster robots for their dealings.

 

                                                       

Michael

 

What the fuck are you talking about, dude?     

 

                                                          Jordan

 

Doesn’t this sketch seem a little like Monty Python…you know how the randomness makes if funny even though it sucks and makes no sense…

 

                                                       Michael

 

Where are you hiding the good weed man?

 

                                                         Jordan

Behind the fringe the next to the pizza from that….wait a minute we need to find that Giant squid!

 

                                                    Michael

Also, aren’t Giant squids a myth like dragons, unicorns, Donald Trump, and Narnia!

 

                                                     Jordan

Well Giant squids are real and as for dragons and Donald Trump….I don’t know! But a Giant squid was recently discovered and…

 

                                                    Michael

Wait! What you’re saying is someone already found a Giant squid?  That means someone else already claimed the reward money!

 

                                                          Jordan

Well, our supervisor, Dr. Wily ordered us to find a Giant squid.  He wants us to make it into a robot, because we have that merger deal with Microsoft coming up…..

 

                                                         Michael

Mega Man!

 

                                                          Jordan

What?

 

 

                                                          Michael

Mega Man!  You know that video game from the 80’s.  Dr. Wily was the bad guy from that video game a.k.a. not real.  Plus, you said we were self-employed so why would we have a supervisor!

 

                                                          Jordan

Look, we need to get a Giant squid, okay?  That we can make it into a robot and use it to take down the Japanese mafia.  If we take them down, won’t have to pay them back for…

 

                                                       Michael

ENOUGH! FINE! Let’s go find that stupid squid, so that I can go home and enjoy the rest of my day off…

 

                                                         Jordan

Good! I rented a boat and bought us some beers! Let’s go!

 

                                                        Michael

Do we really have a merger with Microsoft?  I think those guys will buy anything. And maybe that will give us the money we need.

 

                                                       Jordan

Well I have Bill Gates on speed dial back on the lab.  We could discuss the merger further and sell off our business to him and retire in Hawaii

 

                                                         Michael

Really?

 

                                                         Jordan

No, not really.  All that stuff I told you was bullshit.  Ha, like I’ve even talked to Microsoft.  Our company’s worthless, damn it! Do you know the last time we even worked on a robot?  We just started this company so we can just sit on our asses and get high as much as we want!

 

                                                            Michael

Oh…how’s our Kickstarter doing?

 

                                                            Jordan

Well, we made five dollars and have given away one t-shirt

 

 

                                                          Michael

Cool, hey along with the beer is there weed on the boat, also?

 

                                                          Jordan

Does a Giant squid shit in the ocean!

 

                                                         Michael

OH YEAH! Hendrix-style living on the seven seas! Can’t wait! Also, when’s the welfare check coming?

 

                                                         Jordan

Tuesday, now let’s get on that boat!

 

 

They get on a boat and head off to the sea.

 

 Michael

 

Hey man, what’s that?


(To be continued…if part 2 is wanted for next class, but for now enjoy only the beginning of this sketch)

 

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