Monday, November 2, 2015

An Inventor and Her Robot (Version #1)!

                              (A laboratory built on top of a hill)

                              (Professor Cindy is working on Mark 2 and when done working turns Mark 2 on)

                     PROFESSOR CINDY
MARK 2! Are you on?

                             (Mark 2 slowly rises up and stares lovely at Professor Cindy)

                      MARK 2
Greetings user, I’m Mark 2 programed to be the prefect man. How may I be of service Cindy?

                    PROFESSOR CINDY
How do you know my name?

                      MARK 2
You programed me with some of your ex boyfriend’s memories and I crossed checked them on my database, found his Facebook profile and through his Facebook profile found you…soul mate!

                    PROFESSOR CINDY
Yeah, I’m beginning to have second thoughts about this?

                     MARK 2
Am I not how you wanted me to be, I…loading…loading…restart!

                                  (Mark 2 stands still, eyes closed with head facing down and Professor Cindy is tinkering on him to turn him back on)

                               (After some tinkering by Professor Cindy, Mark 2 awakens)

                         MARK 2
Greeting user, updates available, what kind of boyfriend personality would user like, normal male, abusive douche, frat boy, or romantic comedy style love interest…

                     PROFESSOR CINDY
How is your nuclear heart, is it functioning at maximum efficacy?

                      MARK 2
My heart just needs your love, I have just been updated with iTunes, through my database found songs you like, I will play them now!

                                (Mark 2 begins singing a song (actor’s choice) and midway through Mark 2’s singing Professor Cindy hits him in the head and Mark 2 breaks down)

                 PROFESSOR CINDY
CRAP! MARK 2! REBOOT!

                  MARK 2
What must I do to earn creator’s love! Searching…found fairy tale called Pinocchio…plot summary…a puppet boy becomes real…will you love me if I’m a real boy not robot!

                  PROFESSOR CINDY
Mark 2 that’s just a story it’s not…

                    MARK 2
                      (SINGING)
I got no strings to hold me down to keep me up…
                      
                      (STOPS SINGING)
Found way to become real boy…must find Blue Fairy…searching…2,3000 results for Blue Fairy…first result…Blue Fairy Strip Club on the south side of the city…will you come with me to Blue Fairy Strip Club and then I’ll become real boy and…

                
                  

                    PROFESSOR CINDY
Look, just forget the boyfriend thing…let’s see test out your functions, let’s start with function one!

                    MARK 2
FUNCTION ONE! MASSAGES!

                                 (Mark 2 tries to give Professor Cindy a massage but she makes Mark 2 stop)

                    PROFESSOR CINDY
Okay, how about a function that has nothing to do with you giving me any form of a massage?

                    MARK 2
FUNCTION FIVE! TWERKING! MILEY CYRUS UPGRADE AVAILABLE!

                   PROFESSOR CINDY
Okay, how about a function that has nothing to do with anything romantic or sexual, like opening a can, fixing things, transforming or…

                    MARK 2
FUNCTION TEN! SING PROFESSOR CINDY’S FAVORITE GREEN DAY SONG AMERICAN IDIOT AND…

                        (Before Mark 2 begins to sing he hears a buzzing noise and stares at Professor Cindy)

                   MARK 2
What is that buzzing sound coming from your bedroom! Is there another robot man in there?

                  PROFESSOR CINDY
NO! I forgot to turn off my vibrator, a girl gets lonely when she’s just around lab rats and test tubes all day, now about your functions, how about we go to this chess table, maybe you’re good at playing chess!

                 MARK 2
Do you love vibrator more than Mark 2?

                 PROFESSOR CINDY
Let’s not talk about it Mark 2!

                 


                           MARK 2
Mark 2 has love to give, but creator won’t accept Mark 2’s love! What can Mark 2 do to make creator happy? WOULD YOU LIKE A FOOT MASSAGE!

                            (Mark 2 tries to reach for Professor Cindy’s feet but she slaps him)

                            (After being slapped in the face, Mark 2 begins to have a breakdown and then out of nowhere Mark 2 falls on the floor)

                     PROFESSOR CINDY
                           (SCREAMING)
OH MY GOD! MARK 2! REBOOT! REBOOT!

                                (Mark 2 slowly gets up from the floor and he looks pissed while doing so)

                      PROFESSOR CINDY
What’s wrong Mark 2?

                       MARK 2
MARK 2 KNOWS TRUTH! You programed me with your dead ex boyfriend’s memories! The original Mark broke up with you and you built me because you wouldn’t let it go and you are a crazy bitch…found term crazy bitch from phone records between you and original Mark…so Mark 2 realizes that I should have never fallen in love with you and that Mark 2’s life is a lie!

                    PROFESSOR CINDY
Look Mark 2, when I was building you, I wasn’t thinking straight, it’s just the breakup with the original Mark was hard on me, and I really wanted him back, but then he got hit by a car and I stole some of his brain put it inside you but…

                    MARK 2
ENOUGH! Mark 2 knows what he must do to be truly happy with himself!

                    PROFESSOR CINDY
What?

                    MARK 2
I will get my dream job singing alongside his robot hero Chuck E. Cheese…found nearest Chuck E. Cheese's in my database, farewell Professor Cindy, Mark 2 must go on to new dream! Mark 2 patents are now owned by CEC Entertainment, Inc. and if you make more Mark 2s you will be sued!

                              (Mark 2 exits the scene and Professor Cindy looks confused)

                    PROFESSOR CINDY
Okay, not doing that again…I’ll just get back to working on building Audio-Animatronics for Walt Disney Imagineering now! Where did I put that Mickey Mouse head?

                    (Blackout.)


                    


                    

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