(A laboratory built on top of a hill)
(Professor Cindy is working on Mark 2 and when done working turns Mark 2
on)
PROFESSOR CINDY
MARK 2! Are you on?
(Mark 2 slowly rises up and stares lovely at Professor Cindy)
MARK
2
Greetings user, I’m Mark 2 programed to be the prefect man. How
may I be of service Cindy?
PROFESSOR CINDY
How do you know my name?
MARK
2
You programed me with some of your ex boyfriend’s memories and I
crossed checked them on my database, found his Facebook profile and through his
Facebook profile found you…soul mate!
PROFESSOR CINDY
Yeah, I’m beginning to have second thoughts about this?
MARK
2
Am I not how you wanted me to be, I…loading…loading…restart!
(Mark 2 stands still, eyes closed with head facing down and Professor
Cindy is tinkering on him to turn him back on)
(After some tinkering by Professor Cindy, Mark 2 awakens)
MARK 2
Greeting user, updates available, what kind of boyfriend personality
would user like, normal male, abusive douche, frat boy, or romantic comedy
style love interest…
PROFESSOR CINDY
How is your nuclear heart, is it functioning at maximum
efficacy?
MARK
2
My heart just needs your love, I have just been updated with
iTunes, through my database found songs you like, I will play them now!
(Mark 2 begins singing a song (actor’s choice) and midway through Mark
2’s singing Professor Cindy hits him in the head and Mark 2 breaks down)
PROFESSOR
CINDY
CRAP! MARK 2! REBOOT!
MARK 2
What must I do to earn creator’s love! Searching…found fairy
tale called Pinocchio…plot summary…a puppet boy becomes real…will you love me
if I’m a real boy not robot!
PROFESSOR CINDY
Mark 2 that’s just a story it’s not…
MARK 2
(SINGING)
I got no strings to hold me down to keep me up…
(STOPS SINGING)
Found way to become real boy…must find Blue
Fairy…searching…2,3000 results for Blue Fairy…first result…Blue Fairy Strip
Club on the south side of the city…will you come with me to Blue Fairy Strip
Club and then I’ll become real boy and…
PROFESSOR CINDY
Look, just forget the boyfriend thing…let’s see test out your
functions, let’s start with function one!
MARK 2
FUNCTION ONE! MASSAGES!
(Mark 2 tries to give Professor Cindy a massage but she makes Mark 2
stop)
PROFESSOR CINDY
Okay, how about a function that has nothing to do with you
giving me any form of a massage?
MARK 2
FUNCTION FIVE! TWERKING! MILEY CYRUS UPGRADE AVAILABLE!
PROFESSOR CINDY
Okay, how about a function that has nothing to do with anything
romantic or sexual, like opening a can, fixing things, transforming or…
MARK 2
FUNCTION TEN! SING PROFESSOR CINDY’S FAVORITE GREEN DAY SONG
AMERICAN IDIOT AND…
(Before Mark 2 begins to sing he hears a buzzing noise and stares at
Professor Cindy)
MARK 2
What is that buzzing sound coming from your bedroom! Is there
another robot man in there?
PROFESSOR CINDY
NO! I forgot to turn off my vibrator, a girl gets
lonely when she’s just around lab rats and test tubes all day, now about your
functions, how about we go to this chess table, maybe you’re good at playing
chess!
MARK 2
Do you love vibrator more than Mark 2?
PROFESSOR
CINDY
Let’s not talk about it Mark 2!
MARK 2
Mark 2 has love to give, but creator won’t accept Mark 2’s love!
What can Mark 2 do to make creator happy? WOULD YOU LIKE A FOOT MASSAGE!
(Mark 2 tries to reach for Professor Cindy’s feet but she slaps him)
(After being slapped in the
face, Mark 2 begins to have a breakdown and then out of nowhere Mark 2 falls on
the floor)
PROFESSOR CINDY
(SCREAMING)
OH MY GOD! MARK 2! REBOOT! REBOOT!
(Mark 2 slowly gets up
from the floor and he looks pissed while doing so)
PROFESSOR CINDY
What’s wrong Mark 2?
MARK 2
MARK 2 KNOWS TRUTH! You programed me with your dead ex
boyfriend’s memories! The original Mark broke up with you and you built me
because you wouldn’t let it go and you are a crazy bitch…found term crazy bitch
from phone records between you and original Mark…so Mark 2 realizes that I
should have never fallen in love with you and that Mark 2’s life is a lie!
PROFESSOR CINDY
Look Mark 2, when I was building you, I wasn’t thinking
straight, it’s just the breakup with the original Mark was hard on me, and I
really wanted him back, but then he got hit by a car and I stole some of his
brain put it inside you but…
MARK 2
ENOUGH! Mark 2 knows what he must do to be truly happy with
himself!
PROFESSOR CINDY
What?
MARK 2
I will get my dream job singing alongside his robot hero Chuck
E. Cheese…found nearest Chuck E.
Cheese's in my database, farewell Professor Cindy, Mark 2 must go on to new
dream! Mark 2 patents are now owned by CEC Entertainment, Inc. and if
you make more Mark 2s you will be sued!
(Mark 2 exits the scene and Professor Cindy looks confused)
PROFESSOR CINDY
Okay, not doing that again…I’ll just get back to working on
building Audio-Animatronics for Walt
Disney Imagineering now! Where did I put that Mickey Mouse head?
(Blackout.)
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