(In the desert in the Middle East in Biblical
times)
(Gary sitting
underneath a tree reading a book in the shade when a bright light appears before
him)
GOD
GARY! I AM YOUR LORD! FREE
YOUR PEOPLE! SPREAD MY MESSAGE! TELL YOUR PEOPLE I CARE FOR THEM! DO AS I
COMMAND!
GARY
NAW!
GOD
WHAT WAS THAT?
GARY
No thanks! I’m just going
to continue reading Don
Quixote. Good luck with freeing the slaves G-Man!
GOD
But, of all
of the people in the land, I’ve chosen you! You have no interest in freeing
your people from the pharaoh?
GARY
NAW!
GOD
I’ve chosen you, my son! Don’t you
wonder why you are the chosen one? I know all! I know what will be and what’s
going to be!
GARY
WHATEVER G-MAN
GOD
But your people are suffering my son!
They work to their deaths for no reward! I can guide both you and them to the
promise land! Where…
GARY
LIKE I GIVE A SHIT!
GOD
WHAT BOY!
GARY
LIKE…I…GIVE…A SHIT!
GOD
You dare to use a word of curse in
front of your lord! What would your mother think!
GARY
I thought you were all knowing G-Man?
GOD
Indeed I am! I know what will be and
what’s going to be!
GARY
NOTE! I THOUGHT YOU WERE ALL KNOWING?
GOD
Again, I know what will be and what’s
going to be!
GARY
Well smart guy! I can ask you
questions, right? You said, ‘what would my mother think.’ Well, wise guy, she
died three years ago, so I think she wouldn’t give a shit! TOP THAT G BRO!
GOD
HOW DARE YOU! I KNEW YOU MOTHER WAS
DEAD! I JUST WAS TESTING YOU! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME! JUST TELL ME HOW I CAN
MAKE YOU FREE YOUR PEOPLE!
GARY
NAW!
GOD
I CAN GIVE
YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT! I CAN CREATE LIFE OUT OF THIN AIR! I’M ALL KNOWING! DO
YOU EVEN CARE OF THE FACT THAT IF YOU REJECT ME YOU’LL GO TO HELL?
GARY
NAW!
GOD
DO YOU KNOW
ANY OTHER WORDS THAN NAW!
GARY
I just want
to go backie to readie Don Quixote, give Moses a
call! He’ll probably give a shit!
GOD
He’s still talking to that burning
bush! Look, can you free your people until Moses is ready to do it! I mean you
were my back up in case he couldn’t do it and I don’t have another guy for the
job! PLEASE? FOR GOD!
GARY
NAW!
GOD
I can tell you how Don Quixote ends, but only if you free your
people!
GARY
NAW! Not
into spoilers!
GOD
Oh that’s
good because I only made it to chapter 2 anyway!
GARY
And you
said you were all knowing Mr. G!
GOD
NAW!
(Blackout.)
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