Loan Shark (Second City Class Blackout)!

(A shark is standing next to his loan shop)

                 STANLEY SHARK

Hello, need help making that car payment? Come to Stanley Shark’s Cash and Loan. We’ll give you the money you need to be debt free. Also, I swear I won’t eat you.

                    ANNOUCER

                       (OFFSTAGE)

Stanley Shark won’t eat you! He eats seals and fish, but he’ll help you make good on your payments!

                   STANLEY SHAKR

Damn right, I do. Also, I can help pay your student loans too! Come on down to Stanley Shark’s Cash and Loan at the corner of Heaven Sea Street; next to the Red Lobster.

                   FEMALE ANNOUCERS

                     (SINGING OFFSTAGE)

STANLEY SHARK’S CASH AND LOAN! YOU’LL BE DEBT FREE IN A WEEK! ALSO YOU CAN PAY STANLEY SHARK BACK IN HAM BECAUSE HE LOVES IT!

                    (Blackout.)