Sunday, March 1, 2026
HEAVENLY WRITERS GROUP (iO Theater Class Project)
INT. HEAVEN: MEETING ROOM-DAY
KYLE walks in holding copies of his manuscript and slips.
ROBERT A. HEINLEIN walks over and helps Kyle up.
HEINLEIN
Are you okay, that looked really
bad?
KYLE
I’m okay, I was clumsy in life and
I’m still clumsy in death.
HEINLEIN
Good, my name is Robert A. Heinlein
and welcome to the second annual
meeting of the Heavenly Writers
Group.
KYLE
Wait, you’re Robert A. Heinlein? As
in the guy that wrote Starship
Troopers?
HEINLEIN
Oh, you thought that I would be in
Hell now did you?
KYLE
Um, well, say, where are the other
writers?
HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSON, JOAN OF ARC, HP LOVECRAFT, JANE
AUSTIN, and HULK HOGAN enter and sit around the table.
HEINLEIN
Right on time. Let’s welcome our
new member...I didn’t catch your
name son?
KYLE
Hi, I’m Kyle. I used to go to a lot
of these back when I was alive. I
never became a successful writer.
But I always loved coming to these
to get some good feedback.
Joan of Arc stands up and pulls out her sword.
JOAN OF ARC
(Yelling)
I am Joan of Arc! I was burned at
the stake and now I wish to write
poetry!
Robert A. Heinlein walks over and tries to calm Joan down.
HEINLEIN
We’ve been over this Joan, you’re
not on the battlefield anymore.
Take your seat, but since you’re
already up. Would you like some
cookies and punch?
Joan runs over to the snack table and grabs a lot of cookies
and then drinks straight from the punch bowl.
HEINLEIN (O.S.) (CONT’D)
That punch was for the group Ms.
Joan of Arc!
Hans Christian Anderson slowly gets up and starts rubbing
Kyle’s shoulder.
HANS
(Shy)
Hi, I’m Hans Christian Anderson. I
love to write fairy tales. I wrote
The Little Mermaid. And I just...
Hans lays down on the table and puts his pen over his mouth
like a microphone.
HANS (CONT’D)
(Singing)
I want to be, part of your world!
Hans slowly sits back down.
HP Lovecraft grins and rubs a
black book.
HP LOVECRAFT
Hello, I am HP Lovecraft and I
write horror stories. With this
book in hand, I will summon
Cthulhu. All will go mad!
Robert A. Heinlein grabs the book out of HP Lovecraft’s hand
and throws it into a trash can.
HEINLEIN
How many times have I told you not
to read from that book?
HP LOVECRAFT
Four times Mr. Heinlein. But
please, I just really want to
summon Cthulhu.
HP Lovecraft makes puppy dog eyes and Robert A. Heinlein
slaps him.
HEINLEIN
Knock it off Lovecraft! Stop
looking at me with those puppy dog
eyes.
Jane Austin cracks open a beer and chugs it.
JANE AUSTIN
Sup, I’m Jane Austin. Author of who
gives a crap. And you can’t even
pay me to be here, nerds.
Hulk Hogan rips his shirt off and then puts on reading
glasses.
HULK HOGAN
Hello, brother, my name is Hulk
Hogan. In life, I was a
professional wrestler. But in
death, I just wanted to learn how
to write YA novels. I have this
killer idea...
Robert A. Heinlein bangs a gavel and then points his gavel at
Kyle.
HEINLEIN
We’ll get to you in a moment Mr.
Hogan. But let’s have our newest
member Kyle go first.
Kyle passes out his manuscript to everyone and then sits back
down.
KYLE
Okay, I wanted to share my latest
comedy sketch with you all.
Joan screams and pulls out her sword.
JOAN OF ARC
No comedy writers! Not after the
last one!
Joan stabs Kyle. Hulk Hogan and Jane Austin restrain Joan.
JANE AUSTIN
Calm down Joan! Take it easy lass!
HULK HOGAN
It’s okay, Joan! This new guy might
be funny, brother!
Kyle pulls the sword from out of his chest and turns towards
Robert A. Heinlein.
HEINLEIN
Are you okay Kyle? The last time we
had a comedy writer here, it didn’t
go well.
KYLE
I’m fine, luckily I’m already dead.
Who was the last comedy writer to
attend the group.
HEINLEIN
Lenny Bruce.
KYLE
You’re kidding? Lenny Bruce? Like,
one of the greatest comedians ever
Lenny Bruce?
HEINLEIN
We don’t talk about it. Now just
share your story and...
HP Lovecraft grabs his black book and reads from it. A
demonic laugh is heard.
HP LOVECRAFT
I did it! I did it! I summoned
Cthulhu!
Robert A. Heinlein, Kyle, Hulk Hogan, Joan, Hans, and Jane
Austin shake in fear.
CTHULHU (V.O.)
Foolish mortals! You have awakened
Cthulhu! Now then, prepare to go
into the mountains of madness
and...tell me how I can get an
agent!
Robert A. Heinlein clears his throat and looks up to the sky.
HEINLEIN
If you wanted to know how to get an
agent, we don’t know how either.
We’re a writers group for Christ’s
sake!
CTHULHU (V.O.)
Oh, then mind if I read aloud my YA
novel?
Hulk Hogan pushes Robert A. Heinlein aside.
HULK HOGAN
You write YA novels too?
CTHULHU (V.O.)
Yes, it is my life’s passion!
HULK HOGAN
Oh we got to let Cthulhu into the
group, brother! Please Heinlein!
Kyle looks at his watch.
KYLE
Sorry, I have to go. I volunteer at
the animal shelter up here in
heaven. Let’s just say that all
dogs really do get into heaven and
they all need to go poopy.
END
SUPERGIRL'S INTERVENTION (iO Theater Class Project)
INT. FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE-DAY
SUPERMAN, LOIS LANE, BATMAN, GREEN LANTERN, and SPIDERMAN sit
in a circle when SUPERGIRL enters and throws a beer bottle at
the wall.
SUPERGIRL
(Drunk)
Where’s my dog Krypto? And why are
all you jerks here?
Superman escorts Supergirl to an empty chair.
SUPERMAN
We’ve had enough. This is your
intervention, Supergirl. We’re
worried about you and your drinking
problem.
Supergirl turns her head and looks at Lois Lane.
SUPERGIRL
(Drunk)
Why is she here?
LOIS
Because Superman doesn’t have that
many friends. And I’m his
girlfriend.
SUPERGIRL
(Drunk)
Why is Spiderman here? He’s
literally from the Marvel Universe.
Get out of here, this is DC, nerd!
Spiderman clears his throat and pulls out a piece of paper.
SPIDERMAN
Supergirl, we are worried about
you. We love you. We want you to go
to rehab funded by Batman.
Batman looks over to Superman.
BATMAN
Why am I paying for her rehab?
SUPERMAN
Because you’re rich, remember?
BATMAN
I didn’t get rich by giving to
charity.
SUPERMAN
No, you got rich because your rich
parents are dead.
BATMAN
Dude, that’s mean! Your parents are
dead too.
SUPERMAN
Well, my evil Kryptonian parents
are dead. I still have Ma and Pa
Kent, my real parents.
BATMAN
I have Alfred.
SUPERMAN
You literally pay your butler to be
your foster father. Doesn’t that
seem odd?
BATMAN
(Crying)
Alfred loves me. Why are you such a
jerk?
Superman slaps Batman.
SUPERMAN
Enough, this is about Supergirl and
getting her sober and...oh God damn
it!
Supergirl drinks a beer and twerks in front of Green Lantern.
SUPERMAN (O.S.) (CONT’D)
Supergirl, please stop that! This
is serious!
GREEN LANTERN
No, please don’t stop, Supergirl.
I’m kind of digging this.
Green Lantern hands Supergirl some money.
SUPERGIRL
(Drunk)
I got some green from Green
Lantern.
Spiderman gets up.
SPIDERMAN
Hey guys, I should probably get
going. I mean I am owned by Marvel
and you can only have me here for
so long.
Superman whistles.
SUPERMAN
Enough! Let’s get back to...wait,
what the heck?
Supergirl makes out with STAN LEE who sits in a chair.
SPIDERMAN (O.S.)
Oh my God? God?
Stan Lee stops making out with Supergirl and then gives her
some cash.
STAN LEE
Thanks for that, Supergirl.
SUPERGIRL
(Drunk)
Anything for a fan, Stan?
Stan Lee slowly gets up from his chair.
STAN LEE
Stop this, my children. I’m Stan
Lee the creator of Marvel Comics
and...
Superman whispers into Stan Lee’s ear.
STAN LEE (CONT’D)
What’s that? I’m in the DC
Universe. Holy crap! I’m in Hell!
Stan Lee out!
Stan Lee runs away. Supergirl wraps her arms around Green
Lantern and Spiderman.
SUPERGIRL
(Drunk)
This intervention was pointless
once again, cuz. Come on boys,
let’s go get drunk at Chili’s.
Supergirl escorts Green Lantern and Spiderman out of the
room. Superman sighs and Lois Lane taps Superman’s shoulder.
LOIS
We forgot to tell her that we had
to rehome Krypto.
SUPERMAN
I know, but at least Krypto’s new
owner seems happy.
THE HULK lies on the ground and Krypto licks him.
THE HULK
Hulk love puppy! Hulk and puppy
going to be friends forever!
Superman, Lois Lane, and Batman laugh.
BATMAN
Oh that’s our Hulk!
LOIS LANE
Well, legally The Hulk is from
Marvel and we’re DC. But at least
Krypto is happy too!
SUPERMAN
And Supergirl still has a drinking
problem. We solved nothing once
again!
END
Thursday, February 5, 2026
How My Dogs Helped Me Cope With Life
Like every kid growing up I wanted a dog. My sisters and I would finally get our wish one very special Christmas. I remember the day when we picked up our dog Holly and brought her to my aunt and uncle’s house because my parents were on vacation. I remember asking the breeder what my new dog’s name is and the breeder said, “her name is whatever you want it to be”. What that breeder said told me stayed in my mind to this very day because when I was a kid, I could possibly name our first family dog, but as an adult it felt kind of messed up like she never felt any attachment to this wonderful dog and didn’t even give her a name.
As my family got Holly and my Grandparents got her sister Trixie, while Trixie got fattened up by my Grandparents, my dog Holly would go through Hell dealing with three children who would fight over her day and night. I would play rough with Holly for years and she would hide from me whenever I approached. Being the smart dog she was, Holly just hid under the bed and eventually I just give up. My sisters meanwhile would play dress up with Holly and she put up with it because she loved us. One memory that comes across my mind is when my dog Holly jumped off the top bunk of my bunkbed and landed on the ground below. She recovered quickly and didn’t need to go to the vet, but it still shocks my sister and I to the core that she made it out alive and uninjured.
I could go and on and on with recounting my life with Holly Dog, but here are four core memories of her that stick out in my mind.
Now this is going to be a little shocking, but the first memory was the day I helped my dog Holly bit the tail off my sister Nikki’s pet rabbit. I was feeling naughty that day and decided to cause a little mischief. While my mom and Nikki were cleaning the rabbits cage, the rabbit was out of his cage, and Holly was locked outside the room. I forgot to mention Holly is a miniature schnauzer, and schnauzers are bred to hunt vermin. My dog Holly had a high prey drive and once I opened the door to my sister Nikki’s bedroom with a free-range rabbit outside, all hell broke loose. Holly chased the rabbit all around my sister’s room and I shut the cage door so the rabbit couldn’t be safe inside it’s cage. Then the aftermath, Holly bit my sister’s pet rabbits tail clean off and I probably need to thank God she didn’t kill the rabbit. I’m not proud that happened and again, I matured a lot since then because I was a kid after all.
Second memory, I remember my sister Nina had a birthday party and she and her friends went on a scavenger hunt around the neighborhood. And as most of my family went to join my sister Nina, of course Holly wanted to come with us too. Only problem, Holly was trapped behind an electric fence and she kept trying to come towards us but was experiencing pain I don’t even want to imagine. Then my Dad got rid of the electric fence and now we had to deal with a dog who loved to run away.
Third memory, the day Holly killed the class hamster. I’ll keep it brief, my sister Nina got to watch her class hamster for the weekend, and wouldn’t you know it, my sister Nikki teased my dog Holly with the hamster but my dog Holly outwitted my sister Nikki and got the prize. Holly had blood all over her face and felt proud while my mom, my sisters, and my cousin looked on horrified. My sister Nina is still mad at both of us because my sister helped kill the class hamster and I was the idiot who told Nina’s class that our dog killed their beloved hamster. Either way, I jokingly think that with my sister Nikki causing the death of the class hamster, it makes us even for the death of her pet rabbit, but probably not. Holly was no monster. She is truly a saint because she was a loyal and caring dog.
Final memory, the day we had to put Holly down.
Holly lived a good 10 years with my mom after my parents divorced. I’ve been living with my dad at the time, but when we got the news that it was time, of course the whole family came to say goodbye. We had to be there for her, and of course it was a sad day for the Butler family. Holly of course was in a lot of pain and you know when you know it’s time. We all watched as Holly was put to sleep forever and that’s one of the saddest days of my life. After the death of Holly, a new dog would eventually fill the void and his name was Woody.
My best friend Woody Dog. I didn’t have many friends and I was going through a rough time in my life, fighting with my parents, getting arrested, etc. But it felt good to have a friend with me. Woody wasn’t a saint like Holly, in fact, I will admit up front, he was a jerk. As I tell people, Woody was raised by two a**holes and became an a**hole by default. Picking up Woody felt like you were Steve Irwin wrestling an alligator. Woody bit, nipped, and was wild. But he showed love to my dad and I, but he really loved my dad. Because my dad fed him a bagel every morning. And of course, Woody went from my cute little puppy and became a fat bearded floppy eared giraffe. I will always remember the day I got my dog Woody and how he and his siblings weren’t very fond of me. I almost considered taking his brother who was a little bit bigger because I am a big guy and though it be fun to have a big dog. But I chose Woody in the end because he was in my hands at the time. I brought Woody home in my winter hat and after surviving parvo, the rest is history.
Then my dad moved back to New Hampshire and took Woody with him. I moved back in with my mom by this time and we both agreed we really didn’t want a dog. I last saw Woody on his last birthday. You never know when the last time is the last time you see someone you love before they go. But in 2019, I got a call from my dad saying he put Woody down. I knew it was Woody’s time, the poor little bugger had stomach issues and bladder stones. You don’t want your friend to go through the pain. I cried that day and as I write this it still brings tears to my eyes. It’s hard losing your best friend and someone you thought of as your little brother. Yes, I know Woody was a dog, but dogs can be loved like people too.
Currently, I have my dog nephew Henry, a miniature schnauzer like Holly and my boy Woody. Henry reminds me of Woody a lot. How did Holly, Woody, and Henry help me cope with life in the end? Just by being the loyal loving companions that dogs were meant to be. Whenever you feel lonely, it feels good to have a furry friend sit next to you or on your lap. I’ll end my article with this memory of Holly. One day I felt sad and was crying in the bathroom. I don’t remember what I was crying about but I always remember this. I sobbing insanely next to my mom, that sweet little dog came up and reached out her paw like she said what’s wrong? Even though I put Holly through Hell as a child, that was the day I knew, Holly really loved me in the end. Because dogs are loyal, plain and simple.
WEIRD AL MUSICAL SERVICES (iO Theater Class Project)
INT. OFFICE BUILDING-DAY
A THIN BUSINESSMAN and an OVERWEIGHT BUSINESSMAN sit at a
board room table.
THIN BUSINESSMAN
Gee, this Big Pharma company needs
a catchy jingle for our new
medication. But writing original
music is hard.
OVERWEIGHT BUSINESSMAN
If only we could use a famous song
without paying the original
artists.
WEIRD AL (O.S.)
Now you can!
OVERWEIGHT BUSINESSMAN
Who said that?
WEIRD AL enters and plays his accordion. The Overweight
Businessman faints and the Thin Businessman scrams.
THIN BUSINESSMAN
Holy cow, it’s Weird Al!
Weird Al continues to play his accordion.
WEIRD AL
That’s right! You want to do a
parody song cover and do it fast?
No one can do it better than me,
Weird Al?
The Overweight Businessman wakes up and injects himself with
a shot.
OVERWEIGHT BUSINESSMAN
Oh, Weird Al. We’re a struggling
big pharma company and we have a
new weight loss drug that needs a
catchy jingle. But we can’t think
of anything original.
Weird Al laughs and rubs his long hair.
WEIRD AL
Oh that’s easy. With my parody song
writing powers, I just came up with
your new jingle.
The Overweight Businessman slowly loses weight.
OVERWEIGHT BUSINESSMAN
You did?
Weird Al plays his accordion again.
WEIRD AL
With my powers I can take the song
It’s Magic You Know by the band
Pilot and now make it about
Ozempic. There now you have a song.
Would you like another?
Thin Businessman laughs and the formally Overweight
Businessman, now thin, high fives Weird Al.
THIN BUSINESSMAN
Thanks Weird Al!
Weird Al whistles to summon a GIANT FLYING HAMSTER into the
board room.
Weird Al hops onto the back of the Giant Flying
Hamster and waves goodbye.
WEIRD AL
You’re welcome Big Pharma
executives. I’m Weird Al and I’m
affordable for any medication
commercial that needs a catchy
jingle without any of the hard
work it takes to come up with
something original. And remember,
it costs extra for me to be funny!
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Weird Al Musical Services For Big
Pharma Commercials. And yes, Weird
Al is still alive and he approves!
END
YOUR LOCAL BURGER KING (iO Theater Class Project)
INT. BURGER KING-DAY
A NERDY MALE TEENAGE EMPLOYEE mops the floor.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Here at Burger King you can have it
your way. Now let’s see how many
ways you could have it your way.
A FEMALE CUSTOMER is looking through her bag and sighs.
FEMALE CUSTOMER
Ugh, they got my order wrong!
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Like how we can and will likely
mess up your order.
A HOMELESS MAN sleeps on the floor. The Nerdy Male Teenage
Employee pokes the Homeless Man with his mop.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
How there likely will be homeless
people sleeping inside your local
Burger King. Pick which homeless
person you’ll encounter...
NERDY MALE TEENAGE EMPLOYEE
Sir, are you dead?
A HOMELESS OLD WOMAN pushes a shopping cart with cats inside.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Homeless old woman with shopping
cart and cats!
An OVERWEIGHT HOMELESS MAN eats a burger.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Or an overweight homeless man
eating our delicious Whopper who
might be high on meth.
A bathroom door with water leaking out.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Would you prefer a working
bathroom?
The Nerdy Male Teenage Employee hits a soda foundation
machine with his mop.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Or a working soda foundation
machine? Because we probably won’t
have both.
A ROBBER holds a the Nerdy Male Teenage Employee at gunpoint.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
At Burger King, have it your way.
And by have it your way, we mean
that we think you should just go to
Wendy’s instead.
END
THE TOY PHOTOGRAPHER (iO Theater Class Project)
INT. KITCHEN-DAY
BUCKY BUTLER adjusts action figures into place on his kitchen
table. After he finishes adjusting the action figures he
takes a picture of them with his phone.
BUCKY BUTLER (V.O.)
Hello, my name is Bucky Butler and
I’m a toy photographer. I
specialize in the art of toy
photography.
INT. BEDROOM-DAY
Bucky Butler digs through a toy bin looking for action
figures.
BUCKY BUTLER (V.O.)
What is toy photography you might
be asking? It’s as simple as it
sounds. But it’s an art form that
isn’t so simple.
INT. KITCHEN-DAY
Bucky Butler sets up his next shot placing a STUFFED ANIMAL
next to a SUPERHERO ACTION FIGURE.
BUCKY BUTLER (V.O.)
Inspiration can come from anywhere.
Maybe it’s a clever pun, a cool
battle scene, or just something
plain cool in general.
INT. BEDROOM-DAY
Bucky Butler works at his computer.
BUCKY BUTLER (V.O.)
You can find many of my pictures
alongside pictures from fellow toy
photographers on Facebook,
Instagram, and dare I say, even
DeviantArt. There’s more than just
porn on there. But for real,
there’s so much porn on DeviantArt.
Not that I would know.
INT. LIVING ROOM-DAY
Bucky Butler scrolls his phone showing off pictures of his
toy photography art.
BUCKY BUTLER (V.O.)
Behold my art! Let it speak for
itself!
A montage of Bucky Butler’s toy photography photos are shown
are screen before fading to black.
BUCKY BUTLER (V.O.)
What does it take to become a toy
photographer? Have a big toy
collection, a smartphone or some
kind of camera, and being a nerd.
If you’re a man child, that’s a
plus. Give my pictures a like!
Please, give them a like, there’s
no money in this, the likes are all
that I have!
END
LET'S PLAY STREET FIGHTER (iO Theater Class Project)
INT. ARCADE-DAY
A HARDCORE GAMER walks over to a Street Fighter arcade
cabinet and puts a token into it. The Hardcore Gamer begins
playing Street Fighter.
EXT. ARCADE-DAY
A MALE BUSINESSMAN and a FEMALE DOG WALKER walk by and
suddenly freeze in place. Then both the Male Businessman and
the Female Dog Walker get into a fighting stance.
INT. ARCADE-DAY
The Hardcore Gamer moves the joystick as ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC
plays.
EXT. ARCADE-DAY
The Male Businessman and the Female Dog Walker fight each
other in a fighting game style.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Round One! Fight!
INT. ARCADE-DAY
The Hardcore Gamer yawns and then takes a sip of soda.
EXT. ARCADE-DAY
The Female Dog Walker throws a dog at the Male Businessman
who dodges the attack.
FEMALE DOG WALKER
Dog throw! Dog throw!
MALE BUSINESSMAN
Businessman! Businessman!
INT. ARCADE-DAY
The Hardcore Gamer slams his fist.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Game over!
EXT. ARCADE-DAY
The Male Businessman is passed out on the street as the
Female Dog Walker screams with police sirens going off in the
background.
FEMALE DOG WALKER
What the heck just happened? Where
are my dogs? Why is that guy
knocked out?
INT. ARCADE-DAY
The Hardcore Gamer inserts a token into a Donkey Kong arcade
cabinet and smiles.
EXT. ARCADE-DAY
A BURLY CONSTRUCTION WORKER enters and throws a barrel at the
Female Dog Walker. The Burly Construction Worker pulls out a
sledge hammer and walks around in circles.
BURLY CONSTRUCTION WORKER
I’m sorry lady and I don’t
know...wait a minute? God damn it,
somebody is playing Donkey Kong
again inside that the haunted
arcade. Sorry lady, but I’m
literally being controlled by some
nerd right now. This always happens
to me on Tuesdays.
END
ART BABBITT OPENING MONOLOGUE (iO Theater Class Project)
INT. SNL STUDIO-NIGHT
ART BABBITT sits next to a drawing board.
ART BABBITT
Hello, my name is Art Babbitt and I
am a former Disney animator. My
biggest claim to fame is that I
created Goofy, a.k.a. your
childhood. My other claim to fame
is I left the Disney studio after
their strike because I was in
support of unions. As you can see,
I got a drawing board next to me.
And I would like to draw Goofy for
you today. Would you all like that?
Damn I knew that you would. I also
animated The Evil Queen from Snow
White. And no, I’m not talking
about Kristi Noem. I also animated
Geppetto from Pinocchio, the stork
from Dumbo, and so on and so forth.
Here’s the thing, I mostly worked
in the shadows while Walt Disney
received all the credit. Hosting
SNL is a big honor for a little
animator like me. As you can see,
animation is truly a magical art
form. And you think an AI can do
this...
Art shows off a finished Goofy drawing and ANDREW DISMUKES
enters.
ANDREW
Oh Art, you drew a picture of me?
That’s cool.
ART BABBITT
What are you talking about? That’s
Goofy.
ANDREW
And you think I’m funny. That’s
awesome.
ART BABBITT
Just get out of here Andrew.
ANDREW
Okay, but before I go. I just had
one question.
ART BABBITT
Ask away, Mr. Dismukes.
ANDREW
Could you help me get in contact
with Goofy. My Mom said he owes her
child support.
ART BABBITT
You think that Goofy is your
father?
ANDREW
I do look a little like him after
all. So if you created Goofy, does
that make you like my grandfather?
ART BABBITT
Creepy. You know what. Before you
go, take this drawing of Goofy.
Art hands Andrew a drawing of Goofy.
ANDREW
Neat, a signed Art Babbitt drawing
of Goofy. This will do great on
eBay. Lorne forgot to pay me this
month. Thanks again, Mr. Babbitt.
ART BABBITT
You’re welcome, you very weird man,
you. We have a great show for your
tonight. Sabrina Carpenter is here.
Suck it Walt! And let’s get goofy!
END
STEVEN BUCKY BUTLER SNL HOST ROUND TWO (iO Theater Class Project)
INT. SNL STUDIO-NIGHT
STEVEN BUCKY BUTLER walks out and waves to the crowd.
STEVEN BUCKY BUTLER
Oh wow, my name is Steven Bucky
Butler and I can’t believe I’m
hosting Saturday Night Live for a
second time. It feels great to be
back. My YouTube channel, Bucky91
Films, currently has 399
subscribers, and maybe one of you
in the crowd could become my 400th
subscriber on YouTube. Yes, I am
just as shocked as you are that I
just reached a thousand followers
on BlueSky. Now then, two things I
love are being creative and funny.
Both of which are really hard
things to do. But it’s still quite
an honor to host SNL for a second
time because I was shocked that
they even let me do this once
before. I don’t want to disappoint
you Lorne. I had many people
compare me to Chris Farley or Jack
Black. It’s flattering to be
compared to my heroes, but I rather
be the first Bucky Butler than the
next Chris Farley or Jack Black.
Fun fact, my parents went to
college with Chris Farley. They
found him annoying. Yet, their son
is basically Farley’s
reincarnation. Like a lot of former
and hopefully current SNL talent, I
studied and performed at The Second
City theater in Chicago. I wasn’t
ready for The Annoyance yet. I
guess I just wasn’t annoying
enough, or that’s what I’ve been
told. Now I would like to treat you
all with a little something.
JEREMY CULHANE and CHLOE FINEMAN enter.
JEREMY
Um, Mr. Butler. We lost your dog.
CHLOE
We don’t know where Henry went.
Steven falls to his knees.
STEVEN BUCKY BUTLER
Okay, I have to get two things
straight with you. Henry is my dog
nephew and not my dog. And what do
you mean you lost Henry? You owe me
and the audience a cute puppy.
Also, if my sister finds out you
lost her dog she will kill me.
CHLOE
We’re sorry Bucky, but we...
LORNE MICHAELS walks out petting HENRY DOG.
LORNE
Great news, Henry is joining the
writing staff at SNL. He’s just as
anxious and cute as any writer on
staff. He’s perfect. And I can pay
him in cheese.
Steven hands Henry as treat. Steven, Jeremy, Chloe, and Lorne
start to dance.
STEVEN BUCKY BUTLER
Well, in the words of David Bowie,
let’s dance. We have a great show
for your tonight. Metallica is
here. Let’s have some fun and get
some laughs. Maybe even another
Emmy or two.
END
Steven Bucky Butler’s Two Liner Weekend Update Jokes 2026 Part 2 (iO Theater Class Project)
• Bear attacks are on the rise in Japan. With bears in Japan having figured out how to go Super Saiyan! (Cut to a picture of a Bear with Goku Super Saiyan hair) that bear’s power level is over 9,000!
• Bear attacks are on the rise in Japan. Wow, Japanese Yogi Bear is way darker than I remember.
• The Obama Foundation promotes short term rentals to tourists for the Obama Center, driving up housing shortages for residents. It feels like 2011 again, hating Obama is back in fashion.
• Judge denies former Orland Park mayor’s attempts to dismiss order regarding his political blog which got caught posting confidential village information. With the former mayor responding, well if President Trump can keep private documents in his bathroom, why can’t I post some on my blog?
• ByteDance to sell an ownership stake in TikTok to Oracle. Oh great, first Paramount, and now TikTok, can Larry Ellison not ruin something for like 5 minutes!
• Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson calls to abolish ICE after Minneapolis shooting. Kristi Noem then responded (Cut to picture of Kristi Noem in an Elsa dress) Let It Go!
• Chicago Restaurant Week is here as a marketing effort to drum up business for Chicago restaurants. With most customers still just trying to finish their first deep dish pizza slice.
• A sluggish December hiring caps a year of weak job gains. I totally feel it, because if only MadTV was still a thing, my hiring options would be wide open if this SNL gig fails.
• Russians fire new ballistic missile in a warning to the West. Oh man, I just got over a cold, yet why can’t we get over The Cold War?
Steven Bucky Butler’s Two-liner Weekend Update Jokes 2026 Part 1 (iO Theater Class Project)
• Disney is going to make a live actin remake of their animated classic “Tangled” and they already cast the main leads. Sabrina Carpenter reportedly wasn’t considered for the role of Rapunzel because she was too pretty for the part. I thought it was a remake of Tangled not Shrek, Disney Princesses are supposed to be pretty, right?
• A federal judge temporarily halted the Trump administration’s plan to withhold $10 billion in childcare and family assistance funds in Illinois. Yet Trump originally wanted that $10 billion to keep his children’s love.
• The Chicago Bears mull a move to either Indiana or Kansas in what most Chicagoans call Da Lions, Da Tigers, and Da Bears oh my deep-dish pizza pie!
• A sluggish December hiring caps year of weak job gains. And I feel it because if only Mad TV was still a thing, my hiring options would be wide open if this SNL gig fails.
• Police officer Ryan Miller from Chesterton, IL is charged with domestic violence felonies and put on unpaid leave. That had to be awkward when Miller’s wife called the police on him and the arriving officers said, Hi Ryan, still cool with Subway for lunch tomorrow.
• AI chatbot Grok restricts image generation due to users making over sexualized deepfakes of people, including children. And that’s why you can now follow me on BlueSky. Because X has truly earned its new name.
• Comedian Nikki Glaser tries out Golden Globes jokes at comedy clubs before hosting the awards show. She says she’s struggling to find the perfect Julia Roberts joke. Eric Roberts says he’s happy that he’s not the butt of a joke for once.
• Russians fire new ballistic missile in a warning to the West. I just got over a cold yesterday, yet why can’t we get over the Cold War?
• Pope Leo pans military incursions, laments spreading zeal for war. Funny how popes used to start wars and now they are asking to stop wars. Maybe Pope Leo could learn from Trump and start a war to distract from his church’s own history of supporting child predators.
Saturday, January 31, 2026
Ghost Roddy Piper Sketch (iO Theater Class Project)
INT. WEEKEND UPDATE NEWS DESK-NIGHT
COLIN JOST sits at the news desk.
COLIN
World Wrestling Entertainment
recently announced that they will
use AI to write their scripts for
their wrestling shows. Here to
comment on this is the ghost of WWE
Hall of Famer Roddy Piper.
GHOST RODDY PIPER enters with his ENTRANCE THEME MUSIC
playing.
GHOST RODDY PIPER
Howdy Colin, mighty nice to be here
on Saturday Night Live. Here’s the
thing. I don’t get why WWE needs to
use AI to make matches. All I
needed in my day to help me wrestle
was a simple notebook, a pen,
cocaine, and steroids. Can an AI do
cocaine there Colin?
COLIN
I don’t know Mr. Piper.
GHOST RODDY PIPER
Here’s the thing, I seen AI make
crazy videos. In fact, that’s the
only thing airing on TV where I am
at...
COLIN
Are you in Hell?
GHOST RODDY PIPER
No Cleveland, Ohio. Nah, I’m just
messing with ya. But once you see
an AI video of Macho Man Randy
Savage as Mister Rogers on
Facebook, you’ve already entered
the seventh layer of Hell. But I
can see why WWE would want to use
AI to write their shows. Because an
AI is just as heartless, soulless,
and cold as any comedy writer.
COLIN
Wait, I’m a comedy writer and I
have a soul.
GHOST RODDY PIPER
Do ya, Colin? Nah, I’m just messing
with ya. Here’s the thing, first
the AI will write the scripts, then
it will make the matches
altogether, wrestlers will then
become unemployed. And when a
wrestler is unemployed, they get
angry. And you wouldn’t like a
wrestler when they’re angry.
COLIN
Isn’t wrestling fake though?
GHOST RODDY PIPER
Not as fake as AI. But like AI,
wrestling looks real and sometimes
causes real harm. So the moral of
the day is, oh no, I forgot the
moral. And the cocaine is wearing
off. But did ya hear that Lorne
just announced that AI will write
SNL sketches now?
COLIN
No way, that can’t be true because
if it is I’m angry.
GHOST RODDY PIPER
Nah, I’m just messing with ya
Colin. But knowing Lorne, he’s
getting ideas.
COLIN
The ghost of Roddy Piper everybody!
GHOST RODDY PIPER
Just when you think they have all
the answers, I change the
questions.
END
Wednesday, January 28, 2026
Monday, January 26, 2026
Wednesday, January 21, 2026
WALLY GATOR LIVE ACTION TRAILER SKETCH (iO Theater Class Project)
EXT. ZOO-DAY
WALLY GATOR enters smoking a cigar and holding a gun.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Coming this summer. In a world
where Disney live action remakes
are the norm and DreamWorks live
action remakes are coming, why
can’t Hanna-Barbera get in the
game? They’ll do it with, Wally
Gator in live action.
WALLY GATOR
I’m back bitches!
MR. TWIDDLE walks out and waves his finger at Wally Gator.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Starring Danny DeVito as Mr.
Twiddle. And Tracy Morgan as Wally
Gator.
MR. TWIDDLE
Put the gun down Wally and get back
in your cage.
Wally Gator shoots Mr. Twiddle in the arm.
WALLY GATOR
How about no Mr. Twiddle. And you
be thankful that I didn’t shoot you
in the junk.
Wally Gator chases Mr. Twiddle around in a circle.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
The New York Times says, really,
they made a live action Wally
Gator. The Chicago Tribune says, oh
that’s based on that cartoon that
airs on MeTV Toons at three in the
morning. IGN claims, oh God, if
they made this, they are going to
make a live action Shrek for sure.
And Rotten Tomatoes says, holy
shit, someone actually listens to
our reviews.
Wally Gator corners Mr. Twiddle.
MR. TWIDDLE
Why Wally? Why are you doing this.
This isn’t like you.
Wally Gator aims his gun at Mr. Twiddle’s head.
WALLY GATOR
Because this movie is directed by
Michael Bay. So it’s nothing but
guns and boobies. Isn’t that right,
Megan Fox.
Megan Fox walks out holding a beer.
MEGAN FOX
That’s right, Wally.
WALLY GATOR
Damn right, I’m right, Megan. Now
bring me that beer, bitch.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Live action Wally Gator! Coming
soon to a theater near you
alongside more live action remakes
of cartoon classics that nobody
really asked for. But original
ideas are scary!
END
Sunday, January 18, 2026
RFK FAST FOOD PYRAMID SKETCH (iO Theater Class Project)
INT. WHITE HOUSE: PRESS ROOM-DAY
RFK JR. stands at a podium and taps a microphone. RFK Jr.
clears his throat.
RFK JR.
(Raspy voice)
Good morning America, I...excuse me
for a second....
RFK Jr. clears his throat again and then takes a sip of
water. RFK Jr. taps the microphone again.
RFK JR. (CONT’D)
(Normal speaking voice)
Christ, sorry folks. I just got
over a wicked cold. Sounded like I
smoked a million Marlboros back
there. Anyway time to announce the
new food pyramid. With my good
friends over at the fast food
industry.
COLONEL SANDERS, RONALD MCDONALD, THE BURGER KING, and WENDY
walk out together and stand behind RFK Jr.
RFK JR. (CONT’D)
You see America, you need to eat
more fats, meats, and diary. And
these guys know a ton about fats,
meats, and diary. Let my man
Colonel Sanders speak on this
important news.
Colonel Sanders gives RFK Jr. a hug and then walks over to
the microphone.
COLONEL SANDERS
Good evening all. Now Mr. Bobby
Kennedy Jr. here is speaking the
gospel. With these new health
guidelines, and with some help from
the fast food lobbyists, now it is
recommended for you all to finally
eat all the healthy fats that you
want. Maybe, dare I even say, at
your local KFC. Any questions? Yes,
you miss, in the red shirt.
FEMALE RED SHIRT REPORTER holds a notepad.
FEMALE RED SHIRT REPORTER
You all can’t be serious? How is
eating more fast food going to make
Americans healthier?
Colonel Sanders waves his finger.
COLONEL SANDERS
No, no, no, we ain’t saying eat
more fast food. We’re saying, eat
more meats and fats.
WENDY
And diary, like a good cold Frosty
at Wendy’s.
Female Red Shirt Reporter shrugs.
FEMALE RED SHIRT REPORTER
Again, this doesn’t feel right.
COLONEL SANDERS
Next question, how about you sir in
the back.
MALE REPORTER holds his hand in the air.
MALE REPORTER
Hello, I’m with the Chicago
Tribune. Mr. Ronald McDonald, how
can you live with yourself by
supporting Mr. Robert F. Kennedy
Jr. when your beloved friend
Grimace is autistic?
Ronald McDonald taps Colonel Sanders and takes his place up
at the podium.
RONALD MCDONALD
Grimace is indeed autistic and our
good friend RFK Jr. is very close
to curing him. And...oh God damn
it!
THE HAMBURGLAR sneaks into the press conference and steals a
bag of McDonalds hamburgers and runs away.
RONALD MCDONALD (CONT’D)
Sorry folks, but The Hamburglar is
up to his old tricks again. I got
to go...
Ronald McDonald chases The Hamburglar around the room. FEMALE
RED SHIRT REPORTER gets up.
FEMALE RED SHIRT REPORTER
My next question is for the Burger
King, you were clearly in the
Epstein files. Explain yourself!
Burger King hums “Creep” by Radiohead. Colonel Sanders taps
his cane.
COLONEL SANDERS
I do declare, that is enough. How
dare you say that our dear friend
The Burger King is in the Epstein
files. Be no better than saying
that I...I will just cut myself off
there. Bobby boy, get your...oh
crap.
A worm is sticking out of RFK Jr.
’s ear.
RFK JR.
Oh God, please stop making me do
this Mr. Wormy! My family loves me
you lying sack of...
COLONEL SANDERS
Damn it Bobby boy, have you ever
seen a doctor bro?
The worm goes back inside RFK Jr.
’s ear.
RFK JR.
Sorry Colonel, I, RFK Jr. and not
that devilishly handsome, Mr. Wormy
are in control of myself again.
And, live from New York it’s
Saturday night!
END
Saturday, January 3, 2026
Comics and Cousins: Childhood Memories of Being Creative with My Cousins
From elementary school to middle school, I didn’t really have many friends growing up. Partly due to my Autism and the fact I was very shy, my cousins AJ and Shane were my best friends growing up. Growing up my cousins and I loved being creative and to entertain people. I remember during sleepovers with my cousins, as we all hung out in the basement of my childhood home, we wrote and drew our own comic books. We even created our own comic book publisher named “That Spells Action Comics”, and we slowly started to build a shared universe of characters together.
We weren’t very good artists and since we were kids, our humor wasn’t well defined yet.
But it was just fun bonding with each other over comics. We created superheroes like The GreenSpeed and Super Dude. We created silly characters in our humor book “Silly Comics”, like Funky Monkey and Bear and Snake. One thing we collaborated that wasn’t a comic book, it was something magical. Quite literally, we wrote a fantasy book together called “The Warriors”.
My cousin AJ drew illustrations for the book, I wrote the first chapter, and excluding chapters four through seven, I finished the rest of the book on my own. My cousin AJ wrote the second chapter on his own, and my cousin Shane wrote the third chapter on his own. Eventually, my cousins couldn’t finish the book with me though, but since it’s our book, they deserve credit no matter what. Besides comic books, my cousins and I made home movies together.
I played Super Dude, and my cousin AJ played his sidekick Young One. I have to say though, our greatest legacy together is The Shekys. The Shekys were made up of Sheky 1 (Shane), Sheky 2 (AJ), Sheky 3 (Myself) and occasionally we bring in our older cousin Brock to play Sheky 4. It was our homage to The Three Stooges which my cousin AJ and I were really into at the time.
We even loved to perform The Shekys live at family parties in front of relatives. But to be honest, we weren’t ready for prime time yet and as I grow older, I don’t quite remember those live shows at family parties. As my cousins and I got older, we kind of slowly began to grow a part.
As time marched on, the sleepovers stopped and well, I’m slow to mature due to my Autism.
Elsewhere, my cousins were moving on with their lives, finding love and living in the real world. Funny enough, we’re all still performing in our own ways. I perform improv with my improv group at Laugh Out Loud Theater in Schaumburg, IL. My cousin AJ moved to LA to pursue an acting career and is a stand-up comedian. Lastly, my cousin Shane occasionally posts videos of him doing Yo-yo tricks online. My cousin Shane even appeared on The Steve Harvey Show to show off his Yo-yo tricks.
As for writing, I self-published a book of my own with some of the characters I created with my cousins. I’m currently writing to this day anyway I can. Be it screenplays, TV pilots or short stories. My cousin AJ still writes jokes and comedy sketches. Of course, we still stay in touch and see each other at family gatherings.
We’re still close, but I do miss the bond we had in the past. But I’m just happy I’m still close with my cousins AJ and Shane today and that we still have a relationship. We may not be as close as we used to be, but we’re still definitely friends for forever.
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