Friday, November 3, 2023
Thursday, November 2, 2023
The Origin of Buddy Moneybags
In the late 1800’s an orphan was raised by a traveling circus. This young orphan’s name was Jerry Pennies. Jerry Pennies closest friend and father figure was the circus strongman and daredevil named Arthur Ultraton. Jerry decided to leave the circus after Arthur went missing in the Arctic after a stunt gone wrong. Jerry would never forget Arthur and vowed to find him one day.
But first, Jerry needed to get money to find his lost friend. Jerry got a small job a newsie for the Action City Tribune. Jerry later found another mentor in his boss, the greedy owner of the Action City Tribune, Ollie Right. Ollie Right taught the kind Jerry how to be more aggressive. As Jerry got older, he became Ollie’s assistant.
In 1927, Ollie Right put the Action City Tribune as a wager in a poker game and lost his paper to his assistant Jerry. Jerry fired his old mentor Ollie and assumed control of the newspaper. Jerry would soon buy even more newspapers around the country becoming a newspaper baron. Jerry even invested his money in other ventures. Jerry became an oil tycoon, a real estate magnate, a bootlegger, and owned factories that made food, cars, and weapons.
Jerry grew richer and richer. Jerry was one of the richest men in the world. Jerry was a billionaire during the Great Depression, and he lived it up in luxury while others around him suffered in poverty. Jerry was getting older. He feared death was near for him.
He remembered from his youth his friend Arthur Ultraton met a monk named Veg who gave him a miracle mushroom that grants strength and immortality.
Jerry flew his zeppelin to the Himalayas to seek out the monk named Veg. Jerry found the monk named Veg living in a temple teaching students martial arts. Veg knew Jerry was seeking the miracle mushroom, but he would not offer him the mushroom unless he studied martial arts with him. Jerry accepted and learned martial arts with Veg and another student named Long. Jerry grew stronger and wiser under Veg and Long’s guidance. Veg happy with Jerry’s progress finally gave him a small bag filled with miracle mushrooms. Jerry decided to leave Veg’s temple but after he left a terrorist group named The Red Crickets invaded Veg’s temple and began to slaughter all of Veg’s students. Long, who turned out to be the leader of the Red Crickets, killed Veg. Long and the Red Crickets would gain control of the miracle mushrooms which of course they would supply it to Jerry and his rich friends.
Jerry Pennies would legally change his name in 1952 to Buddy Moneybags because he no longer wanted to be connected to his poor orphan boy past. Buddy Moneybags just grew richer and richer with each coming decade to the point that by 2023 he became the richest man in the world. Buddy Moneybags grew bored and decided to spend some of his vast fortune to become a super villain. Now Buddy Moneybags spends most of his days hiring goons to fight superheroes as sadly he continues to age. For even though a diet of the miracle mushroom throughout his life gave him immortality, it sadly didn’t keep him from still aging like everyone else.
Yes, Buddy Moneybags is immortal, but he’s forever going to be stuck in the body of an old fragile wheelchair bound man. Buddy may have all the money in the world, but the old saying is true, he can never buy happiness or love.
THE END!
Wacky Comic Book Panels Out Of Context Part 2
All comic books panels here belong to their respected copyright holders.
Wacky Comic Book Panels Out Of Context Part 1
All comic book panels here belong to their respected copyright holders.
Happy 32nd Birthday To Me!
Today is my 32nd birthday. And in honor of this milestone, I made this throwback picture collage using pictures from my past birthdays in order to celebrate today. Man, I'm getting old!
Thursday, August 10, 2023
Goddiess and Noah’s Ark
Many Millennia ago…the Gods of the universe that have since became our modern mythology, lived in peace in the heavens above Earth. Zeus, Odin, and Brahma signed a treaty that allowed all of the Gods of the world to live in peace and harmony. And the treaty states that the Gods will help each other in their battles against the demons from Hell led by Satan. A new god emerged named Goddiess and he would be the most powerful of the Gods. He was created by all the Gods, and he had the powers of each of the individual Gods that spawned him.
When Goddiess was a young man, Hades went on a rampage and attacked all the Gods of the heavens with the help of the demons of the Underworld. Hades would wage a war against the Gods that would last for three years, but Goddiess soon defeated Hades and the holy Gods won the war against Hades. Hades was soon banished back to the Underworld and never allowed to return to heavens again. Hades and Satan would soon form an alliance of their own as they plot their revenge against the Gods.
After his successful victory in defeating Hades, Goddiess let his power go to his head and formed a little bit of a huge ego. He started breaking the rules and led a failed rebellion against his creators. As a punishment…Goddiess was imprisoned in his weapon the Green Ax. The Gods erased Goddiess from ever existing in the mortals’ eyes, minds, in their scripture. Soon the Gods hid the Green Ax in a temple in the mortal world. Goddiess would be freed from his imprisonment in the year 2007 by archeologists. Goddiess would even become a superhero…but that’s a story which has already been told.
Before all that though, Goddiess heard rumors of a great flood coming to destroy and slay all the mortals, minus one and his family. And that mortal who was chosen to live was named Noah, and the Gods told Noah that it would rain for 40 days and 40 nights. Noah was told to save his family and two of each animal on the planet. They also asked Noah to build an ark for him, his family and the animals to survive the great flood. Once the rain began, the Gods ordered Goddiess to protect Noah’s Ark from the forces of Satan and Hades who wished to destroy Noah’s Ark to end humanity once and for all. Goddiess at first refused his mission, but he had no choice, or he too would face punishment from the Gods.
During the great flood, raging thunderstorms and tornados were occurring. Goddiess protected Noah’s Ark from Satan’s army attacks on Noah’s Ark, but he wasn’t the only one invested in the future of humanity and protecting Noah’s Ark. Robot Blue, who is a battle robot from space and has been around since the age of the dinosaurs. He was built by the alien bug creature XZ to kill an alien dictator that tried to take over the universe. After defeating the alien dictator, Robot Blue became a soldier for the Galactic Universe Federation and eventually it’s leader. With the dinosaur now extinct from the planet of Earth and seeing a great opportunity for the potential of the human race, the GUF invested heavily in the future of Earth and humanity. Building undersea bases and creating a satellite surveillance system to observe Earth, the GUF eventually learned of the great flood. The GUF sent its greatest champion and his inventor (Robot Blue and XZ), to protect Noah’s Ark as well. Goddiess fought demons alongside Robot Blue and eventually would befriend him during the 40 days. Noah and his family prayed and prayed to find land. Goddiess would hear those prays and thought of an idea to signal to Noah when they were getting close to land. “Noah, send out a dove and if he returns with olive branch. That means land is near,” said Goddiess telepathically to Noah. Soon Noah released the dove from his ark as it would fly around the world to find land. Goddiess guided the dove to some nearby mountains. “Goddiess, look out!” shouted Robot Blue. Goddiess turned around and saw demons led by Satan and Hades flying towards them. Goddiess and Robot Blue battled Satan, Hades, and the flying demons for two hours until the rain finally stopped.
Noah’s Ark crashed into the mountains, and it had survived the great flood. Defeated again, Goddiess returned Satan and Hades back to Hell.
Noah and his family eventually built a church on top of the mountain where they landed and built the church from the wood of the ark. Goddiess would introduce Robot Blue and XZ to the Gods. The Gods and the GUF formed an alliance to protect humanity that day. And the story of Noah’s Ark would forever be remembered that day, though the tale would change with time which is probably for the best. Because if mortals knew that a being that is currently considered Action City’s strongest superhero guided Noah’s Ark to safety, would you believe them?
THE END!
Thursday, August 3, 2023
The Origin of The Fairy Queen
In a magical realm, there is an enchanted meadow where fairies and other magical creatures live. This enchanted meadow is a small fairy kingdom ruled by Queen Deerborn, a female humanoid fairy with blue skin, deer-like horns, wings, and she can grow to any size she wants. All Queen Deerborn wants nothing more than world peace and to make the children of the world happy. A lot to ask, but she and her subjects bring joy to the mortal world in many ways. Fairies give humans sugar, spice, and everything nice. But Queen Deerborn is a little bored in her enchanted meadow. Yes, she has her subjects and the company of pet white dragon named Snowie. But she longs for more. One day, she learns that one of her subjects, Peter P. Pixie, is creating mischief in the mortal world by battling these strange things called superheroes. Queen Deerborn became quite spellbound by superheroes and crime fighting as she began to research the heroes of Action City.
And it was on that day that Queen Deerborn decided to leave her enchanted meadow and venture into the mortal realm to become a superhero herself. Now she would be forever known as the superhero The Fairy Queen. Who would be her first opponent in a superhero battle? Why bank robbers of course!
The Fairy Queen arrived in Action City and immediately stopped a bank robbery. The Fairy Queen would later learn that the bank robbers were working for her subject, Peter P. Pixie. The Fairy Queen knew that she need help and she knew where to get it. The Fairy Queen magically teleported herself to The Gifted’s headquarters and appeared right before them out of nowhere.
“Who are you?” asked Dr. Strong. “My name is The Fairy Queen. And we must stop Peter P. Pixie,” said The Fairy Queen. “Again, for real,” said Dr. Strong. “Who is this crazy…um, what are you?” asks Dr. Laser. “I told you. I’m The Fairy Queen. And we don’t have much…,” said The Fairy Queen. “How do we know that you aren’t working for Peter P. Pixie or are him in disguise?” asked Ms. Giant. “But I mean you no harm. I want to be a superhero,” said The Fairy Queen. Then an alarm went off inside The Gifted’s headquarters and Dr. Strong, Ms. Giant, and Dr. Laser exited the room. “Sorry whatzit, we have a real crime to stop now. Let’s go team,” shouted Dr. Strong. After they left, The Fairy Queen started to cry. “The mortal realm can be cruel can it,” said a mysterious voice. “I recognize that voice. Peter P. Pixie, show yourself,” said The Fairy Queen. Peter P. Pixie magically enters the room and begins to laugh. “What’s so funny?” asked The Fairy Queen. “You and your superhero fantasy. Why do you want to help mortals when together we can rule them all,” yells Peter P. Pixie. “I just rule fairies, not mortals,” said The Fairy Queen. The Fairy Queen waves her wand and to slap Peter P. Pixie with it. “And I won’t be bullied by you anymore,” said The Fairy Queen. The Fairy Queen then says “Og kcab emoh” which means go back home backwards which causes Peter P. Pixie to disappear. “You haven’t seen the last of me,” cries Peter P. Pixie before he disappeared. The Fairy Queen sighs and then she hears cheers. The Fairy Queen turns around to see that Dr. Strong, Ms. Giant, and Dr. Laser cheering her. “When did you all get back here?” asked The Fairy Queen. “You were right, Peter P. Pixie was causing mischief again. He rigged the alarm so we would go and investigate,” said Dr. Strong. “But when we got to the scene, there was no crime occurring, so we rushed back here. But it looks like you took care of it,” said Ms. Giant. “So, Fairy Queen, are you interested in becoming an honorary backup member of The Gifted?” asked Dr. Laser. “I will be honored,” said The Fairy Queen.
And so, The Fairy Queen became an honorary backup member of The Gifted and returned home to her kingdom in the enchanted meadow. The Fairy Queen still visits and protects Action City, but her kingdom is her true home.
THE END!
The Origin of Atomic Ali
In the Middle East, a wanted terrorist and his brother were planning an attack on a U.S. military base that was conducting a test of a new meta ray bomb experiment. The two terrorist brothers, Ali and Ian, were suicide bombers who knew this attack would be their last. Ali and Ian arrived onto the meta ray bomb test site and before they could active their bombs, the meta ray bomb was already activated. Suddenly, Ali and Ian were caught strange meta rays which caused their bombs to be fused into their bodies. Ali and Ian were in shock because not only were they the only survivors of the meta ray bomb test, but they realized they had activated their bombs already. Ali angry at his failure starts to have angry fit. But just then, during his fit of anger, Ali discovered his new power. Ali, is now a living nuclear bomb, and so is his brother Ian. On that day, Ali became known as the super villain Atomic Ali and his brother became known as Iran Ian. Together they plotted to take over the world.
After gaining his new power, Atomic Ali took over the terrorist group “The One Sun” which now was wreaking havoc in the Middle East with goals of causing more damage around the world.
Once word of Atomic Ali, Iran Ian, and their terrorist group The One Sun got out of their attacks and the brothers’ powers, the U.S. Government ordered the Head of the U.S. Superhuman Department, General J., to find a team of heroes to stop Atomic Ali and Iran Ian once and for all. General J. flew The Gifted, Goddiess, Max Storm, and Cool Fox to the middle eastern country of Istoall where The One Sun is based. Setting up their headquarters at a local hotel, The Gifted, Goddiess, Max Storm, and Cool Fox were being breached on the matter by General J. “I have selected you all because I feel you would be the best in stopping Atomic Ali and The One Sun. Now we have a spy within the group who will be aiding you all in your first mission. It’s safe for you to come out now,” said General J. Then to the shock of our heroes, Iran Ian enters. “What the? He is the enemy!” shouted Goddiess. “Wait, Iran Ian, the co-leader of The One Sun and the brother of Atomic Ali, is on our side?” asked Max Storm. “We don’t have much time my American allies. My brother planned an attack that’s…,” cried Iran Ian.
Then an explosion is heard outside, and our heroes rush out of the room to investigate it.
Outside in a marketplace is Atomic Ali causing chaos by destroying the area with miniature blasts while appearing to have fun doing so. Our heroes arrive on the scene and confront Atomic Ali. Goddiess throws his Green Axe at Atomic Ali, but he dodges it. Max Storm and Cool Fox shoot at Atomic Ali but he creates a fire shield to protect himself. The Gifted members all rush in at the same time, but Atomic Ali creates a huge explosion to blow them back. Atomic Ali laughs evilly as our heroes became tired and weakened from fighting him. “You stupid Americans! You can’t win,” yells Atomic Ali. “You’re the stupid one!” yelled a mysterious voice. Atomic Ali turns around and sees his brother, Iran Ian, standing behind him. “Good, you’re here brother. Come, help me slay these so-called heroes,” said Atomic Ali. “No, I’m not a terrorist anymore. I’m a superhero!” shouted Iran Ian. Iran Ian creates an explosion and aims it directly at Atomic Ali. Atomic Ali is wounded from his brother’s attack. Iran Ian reaches down to help his brother Atomic Ali up, but Atomic Ali refuses and explodes. But Iran Ian shields his brother’s explosion from doing any more damage to the marketplace.
Eventually, after a brief battle, Iran Ian defeats his brother Atomic Ali. The U.S. Army arrives and arrests Atomic Ali by freezing him in a special prison pod. General J. and our heroes thank Iran Ian for saving the day. The Gifted even offer Iran Ian membership to the team. But Iran Ian declines The Gifted’s offer of membership and says he doesn’t want to be a full-time superhero. Months would go by, and with funding from the U.S. Superhuman Department all the damaged caused by Atomic Ali and The One Sun terrorist group was fixed and peace was restored to the country of Istoall. Where Iran Ian continues to live as a butcher with his wife and children. Iran Ian lives happily now and stays in touch with The Gifted, waiting for a call to action. Because Iran Ian doesn’t want to be a super full-time, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be a superhero. As for Atomic Ali, is forever stuck in a frozen prison pod that’s stored in a U.S. government base. But that doesn’t mean we’ve seen the last from Atomic Ali either.
THE END!
THE RISE OF RAPTOR CLAW!
Robert Pepsteami a.k.a. Raptor Claw is currently one of the largest crime lords in Action City. But how did Robert Pepsteami become Raptor Claw? It all began when Raptor Claw was just a mere lower-level hitman before he became the head of one of the largest crime families in Action City, the Salvatore crime family, where his boss Johnny “The Shark” Jambamo place a hit on rival crime boss Lucky “The Beautiful” Lasstitono. Robert failed his assignment to kill Lucky “The Beautiful” Lasstitono and he lost he arm after Lucky’s goon chopped it off with an axe.
Robert now fearing he’ll be wacked by his boss Johnny due to the failed hit attempt on Lucky and the fact he lost his arm, stumbled upon the laboratory of Dr. Hurt. Robert became fast friends with Dr. Hurt and Dr. Hurt began experimenting on Robert to see if he could find a way to grow his arm back. Dr. Hurt finally found a way, but there was a side effect. Robert finally got a new cloned arm that was attached to him, but it was a human arm, it was a Velociraptor arm. Now Robert would finally gain the name he would forever be known as…Raptor Claw! Robert, now as Raptor Claw, alongside Dr. Hurt paid the Salvatore crime family and his old boss Johnny “The Shark” Jambamo a visit. Raptor Claw told Johnny that he finally killed rival crime boss Lucky “The Beautiful” Lasstitono. And now Raptor Claw was coming for him and on the spot, Dr. Hurt killed Johnny “The Shark” Jambamo with a laser gun. Thus, Raptor Claw threatened Johnny’s goons that they’ll be next unless he becomes the new head of the Salvatore crime family. Just like that, Raptor Claw became the new head of the Salvatore crime family and there was no turning back. And Dr. Hurt supplied advanced weapons to the Salvatore crime family, and they’ve been unstoppable ever since.
Now back in the present, Raptor Claw and his daughter Tania Claw have kidnapped Sarah Good a.k.a. Ms. Sonic Scream and are holding her hostage. Sarah was tied up and her month was taped shut as she struggled to get free. Raptor Claw, with a wine glass in his claw, watched as his daughter Tania pointed a gun at Sarah. “Oh, how my plan is working perfectly so far,” said Raptor Claw. Sarah breathed in for a second then let out an ultra-sonic scream that ripped the tape off and broken half of the window in the abandoned factory which Raptor Claw made his hideout. Sarah angrily shouts “What do you want with me and what’s going on? Tania, I thought you loved me,”. Tania grins and Raptor Claw spins his chair around to face them. “No, Tania only pretend to love you in order to lure The Gifted here,” said Raptor Claw. “The Gifted? What are you going to do to us?” asked Sarah. “Why, kill you all of course. And I have some help…” said Raptor Claw. Raptor Claw snapped his fingers and suddenly Dr. Hurt, The Mugger and Color Man appeared in the room. “Wow, she looks just like her twin sister now. Unlike the blob we’ve been surveilling,” said Dr. Hurt. “Wait, you all have been spying on me? So, you all knew I used to weigh 940lbs. Next thing is that you’re going to tell me that Tania isn’t deaf,” said Sarah. “Oh no, Tania Claw is actually deaf. But we designed her that way based on your powers. Because Tania isn’t Raptor Claw’s daughter, she’s a clone of him,” said Dr. Hurt. “What?” asks Sarah.
Elsewhere in the Action City, at The Gifted’s headquarters, Ms. Giant, Dr. Strong and Dr. Laser are looking for both Sarah and The GreenSpeed through a surveillance drone. Dr. Laser is on his smartphone researching Raptor Claw. “According to this, Raptor Claw is really Robert Pepsteami. He’s the current head of the Salvatore crime family. His son is missing and…” said Dr. Laser. “Son? What do you mean that Raptor Claw has a son?” asked Ms. Giant. “Maybe Tania is transgender?” asks Dr. Strong. “Tania is a clone of Raptor Claw,” yelled a mysterious voice. The Gifted members turn around and see High Tech Nick standing behind them. “Long time, no see, High Tech Nick,” said Dr. Laser. “How’s your Uncle Ron doing?” asks Dr. Strong. “My Uncle Ron is doing great. Now, you all need to follow me. I know where Sarah is,” said High Tech Nick. High Tech Nick feet transforms his feet into roller skates and starts skating around The Gifted’s headquarters before exiting. The Gifted members follow behind High Tech Nick and see Ron J. Orson standing next to a helicopter ready for takeoff. “Well, if it isn’t my old buddy Ron J. Orson. I see you bought yourself another helicopter,” said Dr. Strong. “Well, if you own a successful tech company like I do, the money just flows. Hop on everyone,” said Ron J. Orson. The Gifted members and High Tech Nick board Ron’s helicopter and fly off to Raptor Claw’s hideout.
Back over at Raptor Claw’s hideout, Color Man and The Mugger are beating up Sarah when from out of nowhere The GreenSpeed appears and rushes to her aid. The GreenSpeed gives Sarah a water bottle and speeds away to continue his battle against Color Man and The Mugger. The GreenSpeed quickly defeats both Color Man and The Mugger. Raptor Claw gets up from his chair and slowly walks over to The GreenSpeed. “I haven’t seen you in ages. And you’ve lost a bit of weight I see,” said Raptor Claw. “Fuck off. I’m rescuing Sarah and I called a friend to let The Gifted know of your plans,” said The GreenSpeed. “Well, Robert Jr., or is that not you’re name anymore?” asks Raptor Claw. “Wait, Robert Jr.? Gus are you…,” asks Sarah. “Sarah, behind you!” yells The GreenSpeed. Sarah looks up and sees Dr. Hurt aiming a laser gun at her. But before Dr. Hurt could shoot her, Tania shoots Dr. Hurt with a unique laser gun which knocks him out. Tania grabs Sarah’s hand and embraces her. Sarah escapes from Tania’s grasp. “What is wrong with you?” cries Sarah. Tania pulls out her notebook and writes a note then she hands it to Sarah. As Sarah reads the note, Tania slowly begins to transform into a Velociraptor and attacks Raptor Claw. Tania, as a bloodthirsty Velociraptor, mauls Raptor Claw as Sarah and The GreenSpeed watch in horror. The sound of police sirens can be heard outside and the sound of a helicopter landing. The Gifted, High Tech Nick, and police officers burst onto the scene as Tania stops mauling Raptor Claw and flees. The police arrest Color Man, The Mugger, and Dr. Hurt while Raptor Claw is rushed to the hospital. Ms. Giant rushes over to her sister Sarah and gives her a hug. “You’re alive, thank goodness,” shouted Ms. Giant. “How did you find us?” asked Sarah. “High Tech Nick told us where you were. He filled us in on everything,” said Ms. Giant. “Oh, like how Tania Claw is a female clone of Raptor Claw that was designed to kill me. And that The GreenSpeed is Raptor Claw’s son,” said Sarah. “Wait, The GreenSpeed is Raptor Claw’s son?” screams Ms. Giant. “Oh, um….hey, wait a minute. Where is The GreenSpeed?” asks Sarah.
Outside of Action City, The GreenSpeed, dressed in civilian clothes, is waiting for a train. The GreenSpeed sighs and then a familiar face sits down next to him. It’s Tania Claw, who transformed back into her human appearance prior to arriving to the train station. “Let me guess. You’re on the run now, right?” asks The GreenSpeed. Tania nods her up and down. “You don’t have to be on the run alone. Why don’t you come with me? After all, I pretended to be your cousin and we are related in a way,” said The GreenSpeed. Tania hands The GreenSpeed a note. After reading the note, The GreenSpeed crumbles it up and tosses it away. “I know you love Sarah. But I have a feeling she doesn’t love you anymore. Also, you may have murdered my dad, so…,” said The GreenSpeed. The train whistles and The GreenSpeed gets up from off the bench with a backpack in tow. “That’s our train Tania. Let’s…wait, where did you go?” asks The GreenSpeed. The GreenSpeed sees Tania getting into a taxi. As Tania’s taxi rides off The GreenSpeed sighs and chases after her. “I guess you can’t stop love. I’m coming home Vicky!” cried The GreenSpeed. As The GreenSpeed and Tania Claw each make their way back to The Gifted’s headquarters to be reunited with their girlfriends, we now go to a hospital room where Raptor Claw is recovering from his injuries when someone mysteriously enters his room. “Hello. I thought you might need help from a real criminal mastermind,” said a mysterious voice. Raptor Claw looks up in fear and see X-Eye standing next to him. “Now, how would you like to speed up your recovery. All I ask, is who’s the boss?” asks X-Eye. “You,” said Raptor Claw. “Good boy. Now tell me…where did you and Dr. Hurt put my plans,” asked X-Eye.
X-Eye is now in charge, and he has big sinister plans. But when wasn’t X-Eye ever not in charge of Action City. What does this all mean for our heroes? Only X-Eye knows that for sure!
THE END!
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