Friday, March 1, 2024

Wacky Comic Book Panels Out of Context Part 5

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Tall Tales After The Apocalypse Prologue Preview

Journal Entry: Date 2/17/2301 

I always wanted to be a writer. But life had other plans and I had to get a real job instead. My brain is always on, so I write everything that’s in my head here in my journal. In a way I became a writer by journaling. To whomever finds this journal. It probably means I passed away. Or you stole it from me. Or I lost it. Since I have your attention, let me explain who I am and how we got here. My name is Dr. Ted Ulysses. With a last name like Ulysses, you would have expected me to have left an impact on the world or that I was a politician. Yet, I did leave an impact on the world. One that I regret. I was a nuclear physicist, and I created the nuclear bomb that had destroyed the world. Some people considered me the true successor of J. Robert Oppenheimer. I won’t lie, Mr. Oppenheimer and I do have a lot in common. That’s not to say that humanity isn’t extinct. Let me explain what the status of the world is after my bomb blew everything up. I live in the year 2301. Planet Earth is a wasteland ruled by two groups. The first group, The Hardcore are an armed militia created after the fallout from my bomb. The Hardcore are led by their mysterious leader that those who saw him never lived to tell the tale. The other group is, of course, the mutants. Literal mutants who were deformed and mutated by the radiation. There are a few small towns filled with survivors who live off what’s left. I, like many, am a wanderer. I go from place to place, stopping only to gather supplies to get me through the day. The future I live in has no law, no morals, and no honor. I find it hard to trust people now. Hell, I found it hard to trust people even before I blew up the world. 

You might be asking, what led humanity down this path anyway? It was a huge world war over the Earth’s remaining water supply of course. Water is limited because humanity foolishly wasted water over the centuries. Water is gold here and whoever has the water has the power. The Hardcore currently have control over all the Great Lakes and most of the rivers in this wasteland have dried up. I have not had a pure, clean glass of water in years. I worked for the United States government as a military scientist. Or to be honest, I worked for the Northeast/Midwest United States government because we had at least four civil wars before the lead up into to World War 7. I oddly enough was one of the few humans to have a job. Machines had replaced humans in general. Then after my bomb blew destroyed humanity, the machines were now in damaged and unfunctional. Since we have no electricity now, I doubt that we will ever have machines to help humanity ever again. I lost everything that I had, which wasn’t much to begin with. I didn’t have a family, I wasn’t very rich, and I had few friends. My girlfriend died in the fallout. Her name was Hina Hazuki. She was the most beautiful kindhearted woman that I have ever known. Sadly, I met my girlfriend only once in person, our relationship was mostly online. I am happy she wasn’t a catfish though and was very real. We had to meet in secret as she lived in Japan and due to our countries being at war. I would have lost my job and probably my life and my girlfriend’s life as well. The only reason I survived the explosion was because I was in a military bunker at my base. 

Now my bomb alone didn’t destroy the Earth. It’s obvious that multiple bombs fired off at the same time, but we were the ones who started the fire. Enough about the past, I need to focus on the future. I drive a solar-powered van wandering the wastelands. And remember how I mentioned earlier it’s hard to trust people, my pitstops don’t last long and I’m alone most of the time. Where am I now? I just crossed the New Hampshire state border, and I have now arrived in the ruins of Boston. Boston is no longer a city. Boston now is more like a pitstop town. As I gathered supplies, it was in the ruins of Boston I would meet a man who I thought was only a legend. And that man was a former Texas Ranger, and now he’s a bounty hunter known only by the name of Tall Tale Jake. Why do people call him Tall Tale Jake? I and many others throughout the wasteland consider him the best storyteller ever. Rumor has it he has a backpack filled with wonders that make him so strong and wise. I believe that backpack is full of wonders because how can a man who’s 85 years old still have great knowledge and the strength of a 20-year-old man. I hear him laughing inside a small tavern. Then I entered it to meet the legendary Tall Tale Jake. Little did I know, this is where my life and world would change forever.