Thursday, November 19, 2015

Acting Class 101:part 1

Author Jam: Writer's Block!

More Improv Part 5!

The Cast Of The Writer’s Block Sketch!

Steven Bucky Butler-A young comedian and writer of short stories currently suffering writer’s block.

Spotty-A talking cartoon dog from Steven Bucky Butler’s stories comes to aide of his creator during the author’s writer’s block.

Snapper the Snapping Turtle-A talking snapping turtle character from short stories written by Steven Bucky Butler, feels forgotten by his creator.

Writer’s Block (Second City Class Sketch)!

(Steven Bucky Butler’s bedroom)

(Steven Bucky Butler is staring at his blank computer screen)

                    STEVEN BUCKY BUTLER
Think…I have to write another sketch for class. Come on, something personal. What happened to me recently that would be funny…DAMN I GOT NOTHING!

                       SPOTTY
                         (OFFSTAGE)
Sounds like you could use some help?

(Steven Bucky Butler swings his chair around to see his creation Spotty sitting on his bed across from his desk)

                    STEVEN BUCKY BUTLER
Oh god, I’m seeing Spotty. I’ve gone mad! Writer’s block has finally done me in! Please lord let this not be schizophrenia. Look, Spotty, you’re not real. I know that because I created you!

                        SPOTTY
Of course I’m not real, dummy. Your mind imagined me here to come and help you write this sketch. So, what have you got so far?

(Spotty walks over towards the computer and sees nothing written on the screen)
                 

                     SPOTTY
Wow Bucky, you really do have writer’s block! What’s the assignment this week about, anyway?

                   STEVEN BUCKY BUTLER
Something that happened to you recently in your personal life that might make a great sketch!

                   SPOTTY
That doesn’t sound that hard. Plenty of stuff happened to you recently!

                   STEVEN BUCKY BUTLER
                     (SARCASTICALLY) 
Yeah, I’m unemployed, live with my mother, sit around the house and watch Youtube all day! That’ll be funny!

                    SPOTTY
Well, you have done some stuff outside of your Mom’s house…

                   STEVEN BUCKY BUTLER
Actually, it’s not even my Mom’s house, her friend just let’s us live here because she spends all her time at her boyfriend’s house.

                    SPOTTY
Yeah, that’s too much information to share with these people. Oh what about your niece Emma? Everybody loves kids!

                   STEVEN BUCKY BUTLER
Oh yeah I’m like the uncle of the year wink, wink. She’s in Colorado and I haven’t seen her in months. Plus I don’t communicate that much with my sister. So as far I know, there is nothing new with Emma!

                      SPOTTY
You could say she got high! Weed is legal in Colorado! Make that shit up!

                                                                                                                                                                                                               STEVEN BUCKY BUTLER
                             (YELLING)
DUDE! NOT COOL! NIKKI WILL KILL ME! WE CAN’T WRITE THAT FOR GOD’S SAKE! PLUS I’M IN ENOUGH HOT WATER WHEN IT COMES TO LITTLE KIDS AND BABIES IN THIS FAMILY ANYWAY!                   

                         SPOTTY
What about your Dad! He’s crazy! Actually, don’t write a sketch about your Dad. It’ll basically turn into a sketch that’s a mix of a horror movie and a Dr. Phil episode.

                    STEVEN BUCKY BUTLER
Yeah, I love him too much to make fun of him anyway! But oh man, what I could write about a guy like him! How about something that doesn’t involve my family?

                          SPOTTY
How about you and your improv buddies outside of Second City! You guys do funny stuff all the time!

                    STEVEN BUCKY BUTLER
That’ll be too much comedy for one sketch! How about how I travel to the city every Saturday?

                       SPOTTY
No, we don’t want to tell the world how much you share with your Lyft drivers. I mean you don’t know those people, they aren’t your friends, dummy. Riding the train downtown is already just way too sad as it is! Plus, you weren’t the first comedian to make fun of public transportation, champ.

                       STEVEN BUCKY BUTLER
How about my cousin AJ, he is my comedic rival. That could work?

                        SPOTTY
Nah, AJ has a lot of his plate already with the Laugh Factory and all! I bet he wouldn’t play himself in your sketch! Also, didn’t you say you didn’t want to write about your family?

                      STEVEN BUCKY BUTLER
Again, I have writer’s block over here. I CAN’T THINK OF ANYTHING!

                        SPOTTY
That’s it! How about you write about being a writer! It’s personal! You do it all the time! You have ideas for new stories. But you haven’t written them yet. I haven’t seen anything starring me lately…
                    
                    STEVEN BUCKY BUTLER
I guess I’ll use what I got!

                       SPOTTY
What are you talking about? Last time I saw the screen, it was blank!

                    STEVEN BUCKY BUTLER
While we were talking about coming up with ideas, I pretty much wrote a sketch about this whole conversation. Let me just put in the title…there, my newest sketch “Writer’s Block”. It may not be that funny, might not even be a personal life story, but I don’t get graded for these. So screw it, time to email this bad boy to my Mom and print it out. With a few edits, of course!

                      SPOTTY
Cool, go team! I love you Dad!

(Spotty goes up to Steven Bucky Butler while he’s sitting and gives him a huge hug)

                      STEVEN BUCKY BUTLER
Okay, this is a pretty weird moment! But I love you too Spotty!

(Snapper the Snapping Turtle enters the scene)

                SNAPPER THE SNAPPING TURTLE
Hey Dad, it’s your other son Snapper the Snapping Turtle. Remember how you used to write those stories about my adventures with Catfish Jack? Maybe I could be a part of this sketch too? I haven’t done much lately anyway.
                        
                  STEVEN BUCKY BUTLER
Oh kiddo, look, Daddy already has four pages and this sketch really should have ended already…

                  SNAPPER THE SNAPPING TURLE
                           (CRYING)
YOU NEVER LOVED ME!

(Snapper the Snapping Turtle runs out of the room sobbing and Spotty and Steven Bucky Butler stare at each other then look out to the audience after Snapper the Snapping Turtle exits)

             

           STEVEN BUCKY BUTLER & SPOTTY
                 (AT THE SAME TIME)

Blackout!

                     (Blackout.)






                    

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

The Director (Second City Class Sketch)!

(On a film set where a director is talking to one of his actors)
                   

                   THE DIRECTOR
All right, thank you so much Mr. Woody Allen for being a part of this great movie…what is this movie about? Well, it’s loosely based on my life and you, Mr. Woody Allen, play a character partly inspired by me. Who might you ask is this character? A dishwasher at a health fast food restaurant! Yes, there are such restaurants, basically picture if Burger King & Whole Foods had a baby and there ya go!

Anyway, your character, Mr. Woody Allen, dreams of someday becoming a comedian, a great comedian, also a director, an actor, a writer…well you get the point. Anyway, while you’re working in this dump you have to deal with hipster assholes and health food nuts. But all and all you need to make money to pursue your dreams and enough money to visit your poor Irish parents in New Mexico…Yes I know you’re Jewish Woody, but come on its acting, you idiot.

Now let’s set the mood. You worked a long day here washing dishes covered in tofu burgers and fake fries. But while you’re cleaning you dare to dream of a better life full of money, beautiful women, celebrities, and designer hats. Lots and lots of designer hats as far as the eye can see. They’re the fanciest and most beautiful hats known to man. Hanging on the wall of your mansion bedroom is Charlie Chapin’s original little tramp suit which you wanted since you were a baby. Sometimes you wear it at parties and reenactments.

Then picture, Mr. Woody Allen, after dreaming the dream, now reality finally returns, and you realize you’re still a mere peasant dishwasher returning back to the world of hipster assholes and hippies. When work is done, you must go to The Second City where you learn and hone your craft. But one day, a Hollywood talent agent discovers you while he’s drinking a milk free milkshake and frees you from this hellish health food place. The agent lets you tell your story on the big screen and have Woody “Freaking” Allen, his hero, besides the legendary Charlie Chaplin, play you in this epic tale of misery and woe. Then the movie’s over.

Oh and today were filming the scene where after you finally get discovered. You give your two weeks’ notice to the hellish health fast food restaurant boss. Giving the bird with pride to everyone there, except to the few people who cared about you who worked their alongside you. Now let’s make movie magic, Mr. Woody Allen…and make dreams come true. Mostly mine. Mostly mine. NOW ACTION! ESCAPE! MONEY! WOMEN! THAT’S SHOWBIZ BABY!

(The director takes a bow after his speech while he hears an imagery crowd applauding him and yelling thank you over and over again)
                        

                      (Blackout.)
                          


Thursday, November 5, 2015

Hulk Hogan vs. Hulk

Acting Class 101:part 3

Bucky's World: Super Dudes

The Cast of the “The X-Men Rejects” Sketch!

Professor X-He is the founder and leader of the X-Men. Since Professor X is the leader a.k.a. boss he has to fire a few superheroes today. He is confined to a wheelchair.

The Scissor-A superhero whose only superpower is that he has a pair of scissors that he uses as a weapon. Insane, a madman, just plain nuts, and hyper active.

Chicken Man-He’s just a guy who wears a chicken suit that carries a gun that shoots chicken nuggets.

Break Man-He may sound like a legit superhero but his only power is that he’s really good at breakdancing which he uses to confuse and distract criminals.


Koala Girl-A young woman who dresses like a koala and she is able to talk to koalas and control koalas with her mind. Cute, tries her best, loves koalas, wants to keep her job, and basically wants to be the best.