Thursday, February 11, 2016

KWE 2007: Part 2!

“Hello and welcome to today’s show, I’m color commentator Mr. Safari, and my co-host is Jack Sports, today’s matches are unknown for now, but we are going to hear who is fired by our chairman Pete “Mr. Gold” Manly,” yelled Mr. Safari. “I still can’t believe that Pete “Mr. Gold” Manly is now our boss,” yelled Jack Sports. Soon Pete “Mr. Gold” Manly walks down to the ring. “Hello wrestling fans, meet the new chairman of the KWE, Pete “Mr. Gold” Manly, and I said I was going to fire someone, and that person is KWE Hardcore Champion, Gay Pride, Gay Pride get your ass out here,” yelled Pete “Mr. Gold” Manly. Gay Pride comes down to the ring. “Gay Pride, you’re fired, and the KWE Hardcore Championship is now vacant, and I have a hardcore match for the KWE Hardcore Championship, with my son Mike Manly,” yelled Pete “Mr. Gold” Manly. Then Mike Manly walks down to the ring. “And it looks like there’s no opponent, so…” yelled Pete “Mr. Gold” Manly. Then King Killer runs down to the ring. “Look, I want a title match, because I don’t want the chairman’s damn son to hold a title, I want a title match between, your son Mike Manly, vs. me, King Killer,” yelled King Killer. “Alright, I’ll have a title match, and by the way my son will win,” yelled Pete “Mr. Gold” Manly. “Well it looks like we have a title match, now let’s take a quick break,” yelled Mr. Safari. 

“Now it’s the title match for the KWE Hardcore Championship, and it’s between Mike Manly and King Killer,” yelled Mr. Safari. “Ding, ding, ding,” rang the bell. King Killer hit Mike Manly, with a chair, and then he did a tombstone piledriver. King Killer then pinned Mike Manly. “1, 2, 3, ring the bell,” yelled the referee. King Killer is the new KWE Hardcore Champion. “Now we’ll hear a word from Mr. Safari,” yelled Jack Sports. Mr. Safari steps into the ring. “I know I’m retired from wrestling but, I want to go out with a bang, I want a KWE Championship match, me vs. The Champ, or when I’m through with him, the loser,” yelled Mr. Safari. Then The Champ came walking down to the ring with Pete “Mr. Gold” Manly. “Hey, you are our #1 color commentator, but I will let you have this match, and this match is going to be big, because the loser will be gone for good, by which I mean fired, so next week a KWE Championship match between The Champ and Mr. Safari,” yelled Pete “Mr. Gold” Manly. “Well we’re out of time, I’m Jack Sports, and good bye,” yelled Jack Sports.

KWE 2007: Part 1!

“Hello I’m Pete “Mr. Gold” Manly, I’m your color commentator with my co-hosts Mr. Safari and Jack Sports, today’s matches are The Champ vs. The Anchorman, and then it’s a match between Dread and King Killer,” yelled Pete “Mr. Gold” Manly. “Man, I hate that The Champ is KWE Champion, I hope Anchorman can kick his ass,” yelled Mr. Safari. Now it’s the match between The Champ and The Anchorman. “Ding, ding, ding,” rang the bell. Soon the Anchorman punched The Champ, and then The Champ hit The Anchorman with a chair. Then The Champ pinned him. “1, 2, 3, ring the bell,” yelled the referee. The Champ won the match, but then the arena was dark, and soon the Evil Death Makers were in the ring. “Hello, I Mr. Unknown I’m here to say that the Evil Death Makers are back together once again, but there is a traitor among us, and his name is Freddy Fear, my own bodyguard, come out here Freddy,” yelled Mr. Unknown. Then Freddy Fear came down to the ring, and soon The Champ and Mr. Unknown started beating up Freddy Fear. Then Kazam kicked The Champ in the nuts. “Why did you just do that, the Evil Death Makers are a team,” yelled Mr. Unknown. “Well, I’m the real traitor, Kazam, the founding member of the Evil Death Makers, and look out behind you,” yelled Kazam. Then BWK came running down to the ring and hit Mr. Unknown with a chair. “The American Bad Boys are back in business,” yelled BWK. Then BWK and Kazam hugged each other, and then they left the ring. “Wow, the American Bad Boys are back together, and now the Evil Death Makers have competition,” yelled Jack Sports. “Yah, Kazam and BWK are once again friends, and now we’ll take a quick break,” yelled Mr. Safari. 

“Hello and welcome back, now here is our next match,” yelled Jack Sports. Then Dread and King Killer were in the ring. “Ding, ding, ding,” rang the bell. Soon Dread kicked King Killer in the nuts, and then Dread did a chokeslam, and then pinned King Killer. “1, 2…” yelled the referee. Then out of nowhere Reaper was in the ring. Reaper then hit Dread with a chair, and then put King Killer on top of Dread. “1, 2, 3, ring the bell,” yelled the referee. “Wow, King Killer won the match, with the help of KWE Legend Reaper, and now Pete “Mr. Gold” Manly has an announcement,” yelled Jack Sports. “Man I wonder what it could be,” yelled Mr. Safari. Pete “Mr. Gold” Manly walked into the ring. “Hello wrestling fans, I, Pete “Mr. Gold” Manly has big news to tell, I talked to the people of That Spells Action, and now I’m chairman of the KWE, now I’m the boss of all the KWE performers, and next week I’m going to fire a KWE superstar, who will it be, you’ll find out,” yelled Pete “Mr. Gold” Manly. “Wow, Pete “Mr. Gold” Manly is my boss, I hope I’m not the one that doesn’t get fired, well it’s time to say good bye, I’m Jack Sports and remember, KWE is #1 in the wrestling business,” yelled Jack Sports.

Spotty vs. Terry the Tapir (Short Story Version)!

Spotty was cooking dinner, and he was soon done. “Hey Spotty Jr., it’s all most dinner time,” said Spotty. He didn’t hear an answer. “Are you still not talking to me because of that embarrassing thing I did at your school, son,” said Spotty. Spotty then went to Spotty Jr.’s room, and he was gone. “Hey what the heck happened,” said Spotty. Then Spotty saw a note. “What this,” said Spotty. Then Spotty read the note and it said that his greatest enemy has kidnapped Spotty Jr. “Now, I wonder who my greatest enemy is, I know who,” said Spotty. 

Then we go to a prison where Coyote was being held. Now we go to a meeting between Spotty and Coyote. “Why did you kidnap my son, you monster,” said Spotty. “One, I’m in jail you jackass, and two, why do you think I kidnapped your son,” said Coyote. “Well, it said my greatest enemy took him, and well, look who I’m talking to,” said Spotty. ‘Well, I am your greatest enemy, but what about Ghost, or Zig Zag and Moe, they could of done it,” said Coyote. “Yah, I have other bad guys, so someone else could have done it, but who,” said Spotty. “Well visiting hours are almost over so, get the hell out of here, you ADD bastard,” yelled Coyote. Then Spotty was driving home from the prison, but who could of taking Spotty Jr.? Nobody knows!

Spotty has just called the police and they were helping to look for Spotty Jr. “Alright, we’ll find who ever took your son, after all, you help us so much Spotty,” said one of the police officers. Then Beardy came running in. “Dude, I just heard what happen to Spotty Jr., sorry Spotty,” said Beardy. “Are you going to help look for him with me, like the good old days,” asked Spotty. “Hell no dude, were friends, but I got myself a date tonight with Penny Greyhound, later man,” said Beardy. Then Beardy ran out of Spotty’s house. “Fine, I’ll do it myself,” said Spotty. 

Then Spotty went out the door when he saw another note. “This is from the kidnapper, I got to tell the boys in blue,” said Spotty. The note said the kidnapper had Spotty Jr. at an old warehouse. Soon our heroes were heading to the old warehouse. 

Spotty went into the warehouse alone. “Where’s my son,” yelled Spotty. “Hey, up here you dick,” said a mysterious voice. It was the kidnapper and he had a gun to Spotty Jr.’s head. “Hey, you’re Terry the Tapir, how have you been, gee, I haven’t seen you at work anymore, we toaster salesmen have to stick together you know,” said Spotty. “No, you’re not co-workers anymore Spotty, I’m you’re greatest enemy,” said Terry the Tapir. “Why are we not friends anymore,” said Spotty. “Because you got me fired, and I became an alcoholic because of you, everybody wanted to by toasters from you, and they fired me because of that, now, quit your job, or I’ll kill your son,” yelled Terry the Tapir. “That’s why I have back up now, come in boys,” yelled Spotty. 

Then the police came in and then the handcuffed Terry the Tapir. “Dad, you saved my life, thanks,” said Spotty Jr. “I hope you learn your lesson Terry, never mess with Spotty,” yelled Spotty. “I’ll get my revenge on you Spotty, or my name isn’t Terry the Tapir,” screamed Terry the Tapir. “Well son lets go home and eat dinner, because I bet you’re hungry, because it’s been two days already,” said Spotty. “Yah and I really need a shower, but why did Terry turn evil anyway, he could have gotten another job,” asked Spotty Jr. “Well son, I guess that’s a mystery better left to the cops,” said Spotty. Terry the Tapir was soon sent to jail, and then he met Coyote. “So, you hate Spotty too,” asked Terry the Tapir. “Yah, I’m his greatest enemy,” said Coyote. “No I am, Terry the Tapir,” said Terry the Tapir. “No I am,” yelled Coyote. “No I am,” yelled Terry the Tapir. So Terry and Coyote argued all day long. The day was saved thanks to Spotty, and the police.

The End! 

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Spotty’s New Pets (Short Story Version)!

Spotty has a loving pet canary named Canary who he found in a gold mine. Even though they didn’t like each other at first they soon formed a loving bond. But Spotty was driving one winter’s day when he saw two little animals trying to say warm. Those two little animals’ names were Toad and Mouse. “Oh…poor little things….I should bring them home with me,” said Spotty. Spotty then pulled over and he then picked up Toad and Mouse. “Come on little guys…let’s get you warmed up,” said Spotty. Spotty then brought Toad and Mouse home with him and he set them towards the warm fire. “Dad…who are those two animals doing in our house,” asked Spotty Jr. “Heather, Spotty Jr., meet Toad and Mouse…they are going to spend the winter with us they we’ll let them go…,” said Spotty. 

“Why did you name them Toad and Mouse…you couldn’t think of a better name for these two little animals,” said Heather. “Actually they told me their names were Toad and Mouse,” said Spotty. “Hello…you two seem like such lovely children,” said Toad and Mouse at the same time. “Holy shit they can talk,” cried Heather and Spotty Jr. at the same time. “Yes we can talk…now then…how about we do something fun together….oh I know let’s play a board game,” said Toad. “Yes a board game…or we can organize my stamp collection,” cried Mouse. “You two seem really gay,” said Spotty. “Well we are homosexuals,” said Toad. “You two are…well you know,” asked Heather. “Well yes…now let’s…,” said Mouse. “I’m going up to my room to play video games…see ya,” said Spotty Jr. “I’m going to my room too,” said Heather. 

Heather and Spotty Jr. then headed to their rooms. “That daughter seems quite upset…and she dresses like she was in the band Kiss,” said Toad. “Well Heather is a Goth you know…so many times she says she just wants to die I’ll never know…are you two hungry,” asked Spotty. “Indeed we are,” said Toad and Mouse at the same time. “Alright I’ll make you two some soup,” said Spotty. But while Spotty was making some nice hot soup a bit a rivalry was forming between Canary and Toad and Mouse. Canary came down to see that two new pets were in his house. And Canary isn’t a very nice to other pets. A feud is a brewing. 

Canary didn’t really like Toad and Mouse and Canary began to plot how he could get rid of them. Canary began to try to get rid of Toad and Mouse in a cartoonish like fashion. Canary tried anvils, big hammers, and even dynamite to get rid of Toad and Mouse but to no prevail. Three months would pass and Toad and Mouse were beginning to take his spot as Spotty’s favorite pet. But Canary was soon happy when it wasn’t winter anymore and now Toad and Mouse would be let go. 

But little did Canary know was that Spotty grew too attached to Toad and Mouse to do such thing. But two days later Toad and Mouse ran away and returned to the wild. They left a note Spotty that they were getting too annoyed by him, his family, and Canary. “I can’t believe Toad and Mouse ran away,” said Spotty. Then Canary flew over to comfort Spotty. “While at least I still have you Canary….you’re not only my pet…you’re my friend,” said Spotty. Then Spotty petted Canary. Canary then began to laugh evilly. I guess Canary is back to being Spotty’s favorite pet. Funny for a bird that just used to annoy Spotty in a gold mine would now be his best friend. But like Spotty….Canary isn’t perfect but that doesn’t mean he’s not the perfect pet for Spotty.


BWC 2012 (Short Story Version)!

“Hello, I’m Larry Sports and with me is my co-color commentator Mr. Safari, and today’s matches are Chief Kay Crossbow vs. Jackhammer Jack, San Luis Potosí vs. Thrash, and our main event Bad News M.C. vs. Smasher Dasher in a hardcore match, boy this is going to be a great night of high impact wrestling,” yelled Larry Sports. “Rumor has it that the BWC recently started a talent exchange with the KWE…so we better look out for KWE wrestlers wrestling in the BWC,” yelled Mr. Safari. “So wait, KWE wrestlers are now crossing over into the BWC due to a talent exchange…I bet we are on the wrong end of the deal…but let’s start our first match,” yelled Larry Sports. 

Now we see Chief Kay Crossbow dancing down to the ring in a Native American-like fashion. Now we see Jackhammer Jack walking down to the ring carrying a jackhammer. “Ding, ding, ding,” rang the bell. Jackhammer Jack began punching Chief Kay Crossbow and then Jackhammer Jack kicked Chief Kay Crossbow in the nuts. Chief Kay Crossbow fell to the ground. Jackhammer Jack then pinned Chief Kay Crossbow. “1, 2…,” yelled the referee. Chief Kay Crossbow kicked out and then Chief Kay Crossbow pulled out his tomahawk. Chief Kay Crossbow then hit Jackhammer Jack with his tomahawk. Chief Kay Crossbow was soon disqualified for hitting Jackhammer Jack with the tomahawk. “Wow, due to a disqualification by Chief Kay Crossbow, Jackhammer Jack won the match, well we have to take a quick break, but we’ll be back real soon,” yelled Larry Sports.

“Welcome back, now we go to our next match San Luis Potosí vs. Thrash and I just received word that this match will now be an extreme rules match,” yelled Larry Sports. Now we see Thrash walking down to the ring with Extreme Ian by his side. Now we see San Luis Potosí walking down to the ring carrying the Mexican flag with him. “Ding, ding, ding,” rang the bell. San Luis Potosí hit Thrash with his Mexican flag’s pole. Extreme Ian then entered the ring and hit San Luis Potosí with his skateboard.  San Luis Potosí then fell to the ground after being hit in the back with a skateboard. Thrash then pinned San Luis Potosí. “1, 2, 3, ring the bell,” yelled the referee. Thrash and Extreme Ian began celebrating their victory inside the ring. “Wow, due to an interference by Thrash’s manager Extreme Ian, Thrash won the match, well we have to take a quick break, but we’ll be back real soon,” yelled Larry Sports.

“Welcome back, now it’s our main event Bad News M.C. vs. Smasher Dasher in a hardcore match,” yelled Larry Sports. Now we see Bad News M.C. riding his motorcycle down to the ring. Now we see Smasher Dasher walking down to the ring. “Ding, ding, ding,” rang the bell. Smasher Dasher rammed into Bad News M.C. and then pinned him. “1, 2, 3, ring the bell,” yelled the referee. “Wow, that was a quick match, it seems Smasher Dasher won this match with only one big attack, well folks so long and good luck, thanks for watching,” yelled Larry Sports.

Current BWC Champions!
    BWC Champion: Smasher Dasher
    BWC tag team Champions: Coal & Alex Norman
    BWC 6-man tag team Champions: The Soda Jerk, Viking Rick, and Sgt. Smash
    BWC Intercontinental Champion: Thrash
    BWC Hardcore Champion: The Champ
    BWC Women’s Champion: Tina Tin