Bucky Talk: July 2025

Friday, July 11, 2025

Lucha Pope (Second City Class Comedy Sketch)

EXT. VATICAN CITY-DAY

A FEMALE REPORTER stands in the middle of a huge CROWD.

FEMALE REPORTER

Today a new pope has been chosen. And he’s from Mexico and...oh here he comes!

LUCHA POPE (60s, buff, male, masked Mexican wrestler) enters with WRESTLING THEME MUSIC playing as he shows off his wrestling moves. The Female Reporter walks over to Lucha Pope and he steals the microphone away from her.

LUCHA POPE

Hello my children! I’m Lucha Pope! I’m the first masked Mexican wrestler pope ever! I will take on all sinners!

Lucha Pope hands the microphone back to the Female Reporter.

FEMALE REPORTER

Your holiness, before you became the pope. You were a priest who moonlit as a professional wrestler, right?

LUCHA POPE

No! I’m a luchador! No seriously, where are the sinners? I will kick their asses!

Suddenly, RABBI GOLDBERG BILLOWIZ (50s, buff, male, rabbi, professional wrestler) rams into Lucha Pope. Rabbi Goldberg Billowiz and Lucha Pope begin to wrestle each other. The crowd cheers as the Female Reporter adjusts her headset. A MALE REFEREE runs in to break up Lucha Pope and Rabbi Goldberg Billowiz.

FEMALE REPORTER

Wait, it’s Lucha Pope’s rival, Rabbi Goldberg Billowiz. Oh thank the lord that the referee came to break up the fight.

Lucha Pope and Rabbi Goldberg Billowiz shake hands and hug each other.

LUCHA POPE

My brother, we should not fight each other. What have we become?

RABBI GOLDBERG BILLOWIZ

I, Rabbi Goldberg Billowiz, formally say, that I am sorry and I welcome our new pope. Who’s with me?

Rabbi Goldberg Billowiz raises Lucha Pope’s hand and the crowd cheers. The Male Referee hands Lucha Pope a championship belt. The Female Reporter walks over to Lucha Pope and Rabbi Goldberg Billowiz.

FEMALE REPORTER

And it appears that Lucha Pope has been crowd the heavyweight champion of the world. What a day! What is next for you Lucha Pope?

LUCHA POPE

I’m hungry. Hey Rabbi Goldberg Billowiz, do you know where I can get a good sandwich around here?

RABBI GOLDBERG BILLOWIZ

Do I, Lucha Pope. Let’s go to the deli!

Lucha Pope and Rabbi Goldberg Billowiz high five each other and then walk away. The Female Reporter cries as she wipes away her tears.

FEMALE REPORTER

This is indeed a great day for Catholics, Jews, and wrestling fans around the world. So now...wait! It appears that Lucha Pope and Rabbi Goldberg Billowiz are at it again! Oh the humanity.

RABBI GOLDBERG BILLOWIZ (O.S.)

Screw the orphans! What have they ever done for me?

LUCHA POPE (O.S.)

No one messes with my orphans!

FEMALE REPORTER

Why can’t we all just get along? This is Katey Kate, reporting live from Vatican City for JKL News!

END