Survivor Parody Sketch (Second City Class Project)!

Bob, Liz and Sarah are sitting at the beach as Chuck enters carrying a box of doughnuts.

CHUCK
Guys! I found doughnuts! We’re saved!

LIZ
You stole those from the cameramen didn’t you, Chuck?

CHUCK
No, I found them in the middle of the jungle. On a coffee table next to other snacks. Now then, these doughnuts won’t last us very long. I declare we eat Frank in order to survive!

BOB
Dude, what are you talking about?

CHUCK
I’m sorry Bob, but I thought we were trying to survive here. We’re lost and alone on this island.

SARAH
We’re on the TV show Survivor, Chuck! None of this is real!

CHUCK
Sarah, we don’t want to anger the gods Jacob Bernstein and Kyle Schulz.

SARAH
You mean you don’t want to anger the producers?

CHUCK
Yeah, the gods! Oh man, here comes Frank with all of his meat. Quiet as I make the killing blow.

Chuck pulls out a gun and aims it at Frank. Frank raises his hands in the air.

FRANK
What the hell Chuck?

CHUCK
Sorry Frank, but in order for us to survive, we have to eat you. This will only hurt for a second.

Chuck fires the gun but there are no bullets in the gun and Chuck throws the gun away after realizing the gun is empty.

CHUCK
Damn! Now we’re going to starve. We’re lost on this island.

FRANK
Chuck, dude, we’re playing Survivor. You can go home at any time.

CHUCK
Really? I can get off the island?

FRANK
Yeah just go ask the one of the cameramen to give you a lift home.

CHUCK
Cameramen?

BOB
You know the guys filming us right now, Chuck.

CHUCK
Oh, I thought they were natives. But you guys need me here in order to survive.

LIZ
Honestly, we’ll be fine without you, Chuck. In fact we were planning on voting you off at next tribal council.

SARAH
I agree with Liz, we are defiantly voting you off at the next tribal council meeting. Not just because you tried to kill Frank, but also because you’re taking this too seriously.

CHUCK
Oh, wow, geez Sarah. I was going to say that I found a jet ski that could take us off the island and get us home. But if you all want me gone, I’ll just go. No one needs to tell the elder of the tribal council about my misdeeds.

LIZ
What are you talking about?

CHUCK
You know the one called Jeff!

LIZ
You mean the host, Jeff Probst?

BOB
Just get out of here, Chuck! Nobody wants you here!

FRANK
Are we all just ignoring the fact he tried to kill me a minute ago?

BOB
Shut up Frank, we don’t like you either.

SARAH
Yeah, shut up Frank!

CHUCK
Fine, I’ll get on the jet ski and go home. And I won’t tell anyone you’re all here.

Chuck exits the scene as Liz, Sarah and Bob huddle up.

BOB
Now that Chuck’s gone, I say we vote off Frank.

LIZ
Agreed!

SARAH
That million dollars is as good as mine.

FRANK
I can hear you guys. You know what? Screw this! I’m going on the Price is Right.

Frank is about to leave when Chuck reenters and shoots him in the arm. Frank screams in pain after being shot in the arm by Chuck.

CHUCK
That jet ski was out of gas. Plus, I found bullets for the gun. So what’s this about a million dollars?

END