ACT 1
Spotty and Stork
are sitting on a couch together watching TV together. In Spotty’s house are pictures
of Spotty’s friends and family hanging on the walls. Also while they are
watching TV, Spotty and Stork are listening to "Piano Man" by
Billy Joel on Spotty’s radio.
SPOTTY
Man, listening to
Billy Joel rock on the radio and watching old TV shows with one of my best
friends is awesome.
Stork then taps
Spotty on the shoulder.
SPOTTY
(CONT’D)
Yah Beardy…oh sorry…I mean…yah Stork…
STORK
Hey Spotty, can you get me a beer?
SPOTTY
Sure dude, would you like anything else master? I was also going to get some
Oreos because I have the munchies.
STORK
Just a beer Spotty, no cookies, no pies, and no
Twinkies…just a beer…do you understand?
SPOTTY
Okay…could I have a beer?
STORK
Whatever man it’s your house…oh and Spotty…
SPOTTY
Yes, Stork…
STORK
Don’t ever call me Beardy again. I swear, because we are two different
animals. I mean your friend Beardy is a Miniature Schnauzer for god’s sake. Do I look like a dog to you…?
SPOTTY
Sorry, I’m just a
little confused that you’re playing my friend when actually Beardy is my
sidekick in my books and you’re…
STORK
Hush dude! I know we rarely interact with each other, but
the theater class doesn’t know that. Yes,
I just broke the fourth wall, so what….
Stork then winked
to the audience and Spotty then looked confused….
SPOTTY
Ah, alright. I’ll
get you the last beer in the refrigerator
then. You’ll tell me what I missed on the show
we’re watching, right? Because this is a
new episode and…
STORK
Spotty, we’re watching ALF. There hasn’t been a new
episode since the 80s and it’s on a DVD you own…
SPOTTY
But I’ve just bought it at Wal-Mart for five bucks
and…
STORK
Look, just get my beer, Spotty. God, why do I hang out with you?
SPOTTY
Because we’re friends….
STORK
Why are we friends again?
SPOTTY
How can you say that!
STORK
Look, Spotty, to be honest I’m only here because my
other friends are busy and you were available.
SPOTTY
Likewise. But
I saved your life in the fourth grade….
STORK
No. I just
slipped on a pencil and you told a teacher.
And that teacher just took me to the nurse. Plus, I wasn’t even hurt. I just tripped over
a freaking pencil.
SPOTTY
But I was the one who said that you should stop
delivering babies and go on wonderful adventures with me.
STORK
But now I sell insurance and you sell toasters
because we needed real jobs. I mean,
come on. How will we make money just being adventurers?
SPOTTY
We could’ve had our own show on the
History channel or something.
(Spotty sighs)
What happened to us man? We used to be fighting bad guys and saving
the day. But now we’re just two guys who
had a day off of our lame jobs and are sitting on the couch drinking beers and
watching reruns of ALF.
STORK
Truly, it’s paradise. Now about that beer…
Spotty begins to cry.
STORK
Stop crying, dude!
So what? I’m a talking stork and
you’re a talking dog. We’re both odd and
like everyone else in the world we have to do things we hate for a living.
Spotty
slowly stops crying and then smiles.
Stork looks at Spotty confused.
SPOTTY
I just remembered how we became friends. I was a talking dog who had no friends and
you were a talking stork who had no friends. What brought us together was the
fact we are stupid animals who can talk. We’re two wild and crazy talking
cartoon animals.
STORK
Spotty, what you just said makes no sense at
all. I bet you hear this a lot….but
you’re an idiot.
SPOTTY
Plus, I chose a talking stork because Yogi Bear was
busy that night and….
Stork
then sighed and slowly began to leave Spotty’s house while Spotty was rambling.
Stork then hops in his car and drives back to
his own house.
A couple hours later, Spotty then realizes
Stork left.
SPOTTY
Great, not only did my only stork friend leave but
now I have no idea what I had to tell him.
It was something important?
Spotty’s cell
phone rings and he answers it.
SPOTTY
Hey Stork…forget something….Stork…
Now we see Stork lying on the floor back at his house
passed out. Then we slowly see that Stork’s house was being fumigated for a
cockroach problem.
SPOTTY
Oh well…I guess I can see what my other friends are
up to…but first…
Spotty then grabs a box of Oreos and a bottle of
Mountain Dew.
SPOTTY
Now…it’s me time.
Spotty began to watch TV while eating
Oreos and drinking a bottle of Mountain Dew.
SPOTTY
Maybe after me time, I can finally get that beer….I
think I can make it to the bar before last call….
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