(An intro shot of
the outside of “Jeff’s Comic Shop” and a slow fade in to see Jeff sleeping at
the counter)
(Randy slowly
enters the scene and he rings a bell at the counter. Jeff wakes up)
JEFF
(YAWNING)
What, Oh! Welcome to
Jeff’s Comic Shop! How may I help you, sir?
RANDY
(SARCASTICALLY)
Boy, you sure do give this
place life! Morning Sleeping Beauty!
(Jeff soon
recognizes Randy and gets excited)
JEFF
(EXCITED)
RANDY! MY MAN WHAT’S HAPPENING
BRO! I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE IN COLLEGE ALREADY! MR. TECH WIZARD!
RANDY
No, It’s still summer and
I’m looking for work and I heard you opened up a comic shop, so I thought I pop
in!
JEFF
Great to see you Mr. Ivey
League. So do you want the latest issue of Moon Maiden? I of course know my best
friend’s favorite superhero. Plus I know you have a crush on her!
RANDY
Who doesn’t have a crush
on Moon Maiden? With her movie coming out and all…but bro that’s not why I’m
here!
JEFF
So, why?
(Randy points to
the help wanted sign on the window and Jeff puts his hand over his face)
JEFF
You’re here for the clerk
job?
RANDY
So, is there like an
interview, do you need to see my resume?
JEFF
Dude, you got the job! But
here’s the thing, what do you see?
(Jeff spreads his
arms out wide while Randy looks both ways)
RANDY
Well, I see some comics,
some action figures, posters, DVDs, a picture of your schnauzer
Hank and your bust of Abraham Lincoln. Shall I go on?
JEFF
Let me rephrase the question, what do
you not see in my comic shop?
RANDY
Other people?
JEFF
Correct, or as they should be called
customers, so here’s the thing, no customers means no money, no money means…no
pay!
RANDY
So how do we get customers to the shop
then?
JEFF
I have no idea!
(The outside
of Jeff’s Comic Shop appears on screen and underneath it says 10 minutes later)
(Reopening with Jeff
eating chips out of a bowl chewing really loudly while Randy is sweeping up the
shop)
JEFF
(GLEEFULLY)
How’s the work coming along Randy?
(Randy throws down the
broom and stares angrily at Jeff)
RANDY
(ANGRILY)
HOW’S THE WORK? SERIOUSLY? HELP ME OUT
HERE MAN, THIS PLACE IS A PIGSTY! WHEN’S THE LAST TIME YOU CLEANED IT?
JEFF
I have only owned the shop for two
days, so…I never really cleaned it! But hey that’s what the clerk is for,
right?
RANDY
Hey, you’re like my best friend. I’ve
been working for free since 10 minutes ago when you gave me the job and…
JEFF
I know, you want pay, but we haven’t
had a customer yet! Besides that guy who asked us how to get to Taco Town and
that old lady who wanted to validate her parking, we haven’t had an actual
customer. But I just posted an ad for the shop on the That Spells Action
Comics.com!
RANDY
That Spells Action Comics! You mean
the comic book company? How did you afford an ad on their website? I mean
they’re the biggest comic book company ever!
JEFF
If you own a comic shop that sells
their comics they put your store on their store finder! So, problem solved!
RANDY
So about answering my question, are
you going to help me clean the shop, because I could really use the help!
JEFF
Okay, let’s play role-play, I’m your
boss, you’re the clerk. We may be best friends, but here, the rules are
different! Now, I stay up here at the counter and help the customers, and you
clean! Now the bathroom isn’t going to clean itself! GET BUSY!
RANDY
Look, I think we should be partners in
this! Gosh, of all the people in the world I had to have as a boss…
(Randy
exits the scene in a huff, and Jeff sighs and picks up his bust of Abraham
Lincoln)
JEFF
(STARING AT HIS BUST
OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN)
Oh Abe, my hero, you lead a nation to
greatness! Teach me your ways in leadership, please? So that I may guide young
Randy to greatness and…
(Randy
reenters while sweeping)
RANDY
You know Lincoln was the one that
freed the slaves, right?
JEFF
(ANNOYED)
HA HA HA! Okay fine, I’ll wash the
windows! HAPPY!
RANDY
Of course, boss!
(Jeff grabs a rag
and goes to wash the windows and Randy continues sweeping)
(We see the
outside of the comic shop again and underneath it says 20 minutes later)
(Jeff looks bored
at the counter and Randy enters while holding a clown action figure)
RANDY
Hey Jeff, I found an Officer Bubbles
action figure in the bargain bin! You know this action figure is worth $50,000,
right?
JEFF
Say what now?
RANDY
I mean how much did you pay for it?
JEFF
I paid an old lady at a yard sale 12
cents for that Officer Bubbles action figure. Boy, I’m glad I have my little
expert here to tell me these things. For that bit of knowledge, we’ll go to
Taco Town tonight! My treat!
RANDY
Don’t you mean, your Dad’s treat?
JEFF
Leave my Dad out of this okay! Yeah I
know it’s a little weird for me to still live with my parents, but back off! If
it weren’t for my Dad I wouldn’t have the shop right now!
RANDY
Wait, Mr. Used Cars of Mystic County
gave you the money to open up a comic book store? But your Dad hates comics!
Why would he give you the money?
(Jeff sighs and looks down)
JEFF
Actually, my Dad wanted me to use the
money for college. When I told him I wanted to open a comic book shop. He
wasn’t happy. But he just wants me to have a job and he wants me to succeed in
business like he did.
RANDY
So, what if the shop fails, what will
happen then?
JEFF
Then I have to sell used cars with my
Dad!
RANDY
But you hate cars!
JEFF
Kind of weird for the son of Mr. Used
Cars of Mystic County to hate cars! But he hates comics, so were even! Now
there’s something I wanted to ask you Randy…
RANDY
What?
(Jeff smiles and
pulls out some trading cards)
JEFF
Do you want to challenge High Wizard
Jeff in a game of “Sun Dragons of the Nile”?
RANDY
You dare challenge an Ultra High
Wizard! How stupid are you peasant?
JEFF
ENOUGH, ULTRA HIGH WIZARD RANDY! TIME
TO SETTLE THIS IN THE CASTLE OF SUN MOTHERS! BRING IT!
(Jeff and Randy
begin playing their trading card game)
RANDY
The wizard that loses cleans the
bathroom?
JEFF
You’re on!
(Now we see the
outside of the comic shop again and underneath it says 30 minutes later)
(Jeff and Randy
are sitting around reading comics and goofing off)
JEFF
Oh no way man, Goddiess is a god! No way Dr. Strong can beat him?
RANDY
He so can!
JEFF
In my eyes, the only
character that can beat Goddiess in a fight is Super Dude!
RANDY
Who’s Super Dude? Man, you
made him up! MR. COMICS 101 RIGHT HERE!
JEFF
Of course I made Super
Dude up, I don’t just want to be a comic shop owner, I WANT TO BE A COMIC BOOK
WRITER!
RANDY
You, a comic book writer? Have you
gotten anything published?
JEFF
Nope! No one hires a guy who just
writes, they want one that can draw too! But I can only draw stick figures. How
will I ever be like my hero Kirby Siegel?
RANDY
I can draw your comic books man! Years
of doodling in high school bro!
JEFF
Randy, I would love for you to be the Gardner
Starlin to my Kirby Siegel. Together we shall become the greatest writer-artist
duo the likes of which comics has never seen before or will again!
(Jeff and Randy do
their special handshake and laugh afterwards)
BETH
(OFF STAGE)
HELLO! ANYBODY HERE!
(Jeff and Randy
pause and begin to feel nervous)
JEFF
(NERVOUS)
RANDY! DID YOU HEAR THAT?
(Randy nods his
head)
JEFF
(NERVOUS)
A GIRL IS IN HERE! WHAT DO WE DO?
RANDY
(YELLING NERVOUSLY)
We’re over here, miss!
JEFF
(YELLING)
DUDE!
(Beth enters
and Jeff and Randy are basically tongue-tied)
BETH
Hi, I’m Beth. I own the beauty salon
next door and I thought I’d greet my new neighbors. So you two are my
neighbors?
(Jeff and Randy stare at
her blankly and Beth begins to feel like this is an awkward moment)
BETH
OKAY! Well, I have to get back to the
beauty saloon, but I thought I’d give you guys a coupon for a free haircut and
shampoo! Well, it was nice meeting you two! You both seem nice!
(Beth exits the scene and Jeff and Randy
look at each other)
JEFF & RANDY
(AT THE SAME TIME)
NAILED IT!
(Jeff and Randy give
each other a high five)
(We see the outside
of the comic shop again and underneath it says 50 minutes later)
(Jeff is watching an
online video on his computer and Randy walks up to him)
RANDY
Hey Jeff, it’s 1 hour until closing and
we haven’t had a customer so I guess…what are you watching?
JEFF
Super Happy Penny! I mean, no that’s a
girl’s anime, I don’t watch…
RANDY
I love Super Happy Penny!
JEFF
Really? I thought I was the only dude
that watches it! I’m watching episode 4 right now!
RANDY
I love episode 4! GREATEST ANIME EVER!
JEFF
Well watch it with me man, you’re
missing her magic sunshine ray! HURRY OVER HERE! I CAN ONLY HAVE IT ON PAUSE
FOR SO LONG!
(Randy rushes over and
sits next to Jeff while they both watch Super Happy Penny)
(While Jeff and Randy
are watching the online video, a customer finally enters)
CUSTOMER
Excuse me, but do you have the latest
issue of Robot Blue?
JEFF
Go away we’re closed!
(Customer sighs and
exits the store, after the customer leaves Jeff pauses)
JEFF
WAIT A MINUTE! RANDY!
RANDY
WHAT?
JEFF
That guy who came in here! He wanted
to buy a comic book! He…I mean…
(Jeff and Randy
stare at each other then they scream at the same time)
(Randy jumps up
and begins to rush out the door)
RANDY
(WHILE EXITING)
WAIT! COME BACK! WE’RE NOT CLOSED YET!
(Jeff running
in a huff trying to catch up with Randy)
JEFF
WE HAVE ROBOT BLUE EVERYTHING HERE!
SIR PLEASE! WE NEED YOU! YOU’RE OUR HERO! COME BACK!
(Blackout)
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