Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Silly Squad’s Silly-Mart (Short Story Version)!

Silly Squad INC. was the #1 entertainment company of its class. They still do entertaining at birthday parties, TV shows, movies, internet clips, merchandising, a theme park, and “The Silly Squad Channel” which is a subscription video on demand television service and it now has over 200,000 subscribers. They own Shekys INC., True Funny INC., Bros. Ink, and Lixey Bros. Studios which at a time were their biggest rivals. Soon Silly Squad INC.’s CEO Flea-Boy the Clown announced that Silly Squad INC. is now a public company and trades on the NYSE. Flea-Boy the Clown’s vision of making people laugh is now one of the most successful corporations in the world today. 

Now we go to a business meeting being held by Flea-Boy the Clown and at the meeting were the founding employees. “Gentlemen, Silly Squad INC. is currently a very powerful company, I think we need to expand into other fields of business, do you know what that business is,” asked Flea-Boy the Clown. “A theme park,” said Spotty. “You dumbass we already have a theme park, I’m talking about starting a chain of large, discount department stores, like Wal-Mart or Target, that’s where the money’s at, so that’s why I’m going to make Silly-Mart and rake in some more money,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. “But we’re an entertainment company why do we need to compete with the retail business,” asked Igor. “Guys you’re missing the big picture here, this company could do anything, when I started out I only had a nickel to my name, now I’m a billionaire, Silly Squad INC. could use more money, so let’s build some Silly-Mart stores all over the country and then the world,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. “So where would this Silly-Mart be,” asked Lenny the Leopard.  “We are building five stores and they will be complete in a week, so, let there be Silly-Mart,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. And soon Silly-Mart opened their first five stores and by the end of the month, Silly-Mart had over 1,000 stores all over the United States and soon Silly-Mart started killing small businesses. What have the Silly Squad done now!

Now we go to Binky Bear who was back in his home town, but it changed a lot. The main street which had a general store, a barber shop, a pharmacy, a repair shop, and even a hunting store, were all out of business. “What happened to Main Street,” asked Binky Bear to himself. Then his friend Donny the Duck started walking towards him. “Binky, long time no see, how have you been since you went to Hollywood,” asked Donny the Duck. “Donny, what happened to all the local businesses,” asked Binky. “Well they closed down after ForestBurg built its first Silly-Mart, Silly-Mart has everything they’ve sold at very low prices, they couldn’t compete with them, oh yah, I forgot to tell you you’re dad now works at Silly-Mart after the repair shop he worked at went out of business, so you’re folks lost their house and now live in a shack, I also work at Silly-Mart, I get paid nothing, well it was nice talking to you, but I have to get back to work, see ya,” said Donny the Duck. “My parents lost their house, that’s it, Silly-Mart has gone too far,” said Binky Bear to himself. 

Soon Binky Bear marched into Flea-Boy’s office to talk to him. “Dude, can you please shut down Silly-Mart, it ruined my home town, the rumors are true, Silly Squad is just an evil corporation, what happened to just make people laugh,” said Binky Bear. “You want to know why we don’t just make people laugh anymore, we made a ton of money and now Silly-Mart is making us more money, ever since I founded this company it made me money, you know what it’s like to live in a smelly circus tent for ten freaking years, it sucks, now I own that circus and then some, it’s all about money my friend and that’s just business, survival of the fittest Mr. Bear, survival of the fittest, now I have bigger problems to worry about, Coyote Corp is planning on making their own  chain of discount department stores and it will compete with Silly-Mart, so get out of my office,” said Flea-Boy the Clown. Binky Bear then left Flea-Boy’s office and then Flea-Boy lit up a cigar. “That poor fool, I never cared about small business, but I can’t get rid of Silly-Mart, it’s making me rich, but then again…,” said Flea-Boy the Clown to himself. It seems Silly-Mart is unstoppable…for now!

Soon Coyote-Mart opened at it proved to be a rival to Silly-Mart. But just after about a couple of months of being in business, Silly Squad INC. sold the Silly-Mart store chain to Coyote Corp. Now all the Silly-Marts became Coyote-Marts and now Silly Squad INC. isn’t in the retail business anymore. Binky Bear bought his parents a new house with his own money he made while working for the Silly Squad and his parents are just fine. Silly Squad INC. is now only an entertainment company and nothing more. I guess Flea-Boy the Clown does have a heart, and I guess Silly-Mart will be remembered for only one thing, it killed small businesses!


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