Thursday, May 12, 2016

Zombie Fallout: Remake (Second City Class Sketch)!

(Inside an underground bomb shelter)

(Brandy and Jenna are sitting around the bomb shelter bored)

                BRANDY
You want to play cards again, Jenna?

                JENNA
                 (YELLING)
Hell no! Why of all the people in the world did I have to get stuck with my nerdy little sister?

               BRANDY
Well, Dad built the bomb shelter for our family after years of thinking that there will be a nuclear war. I guess he was right. The only thing he couldn’t predict, I guess, would be that the nukes went off to stop the zombie outbreak. I miss Dad. Want some chili Jenna?

               JENNA
                (CRYING)
Why can’t I have a man in here! Instead I’m stuck with my nerdy sister in our Dad’s bomb shelter. I would have rather lived with our zombie parents than you, Brandy. God, the apocalypse sucks.

(Brandy while ignoring Jenna’s remarks opens a can of chili and places it in a microwave oven to cook and Jenna begins reading a magazine)

(Brandy comes over to check out the magazine Jenna is reading and they hear knocking)

               BRANDY
                 (SCARED)
Jenna, did you hear that?

(Jenna drops her magazine and grabs her rifle)

                 JENNA
I heard it too! I’ll open the door and take care of the problem!

(Jenna climbs a ladder and Brandy hears Jenna scream with joy)
                 JENNA
                  (SCREAMING WITH JOY)
Brandy, God has answered my prayers! Look what I found!

(Jenna and Kyle climb down the ladder together and Brandy looks shocked)

               BRANDY
                 (SHOCKED)
Oh my god! Another survivor! Who are you and thank goodness you found us!
              
                KYLE
My name is Kyle and I was in a hospital and when I awoke I found the world in ruins. What happened?
               
                JENNA
Well handsome, you haven’t heard? The three of us have survived the apocalypse. The world ended, but now it’ll begin again!

              KYLE
               (FREAKING OUT)
What do you mean the world has ended? How long have I been in a coma? Oh my god! My family! Everybody I knew is—

              


              JENNA
Dead! Of course they are! It’s only the three of us! Now let’s have sex and what-ca-ma call it? Repopulate the Earth! Come on stud! Let’s get busy!

              KYLE
                (CRYING)
But, I don’t want to repopulate the Earth with you or your sister! Are you two seriously the last women on Earth?

               BRANDY
Well, I suppose there’s a slim chance if you survived then I guess there might be more survivors. When the radiation levels go down, we can go looking for other survivors!

                JENNA
Nah, don’t listen to my sister, Kyle! Everyone’s dead! Now let’s fuck!

               KYLE
Oh man, I’m feeling sick! And my leg hurts!

(Kyle begins to feel dizzy and Brandy looks at his leg then screams)

               BRANDY
                 (SCREAMING)
Jenna, look at his leg! A zombie has bitten him! He’s turning into a zombie, sis! Quick grab your rifle and kill him! Oh God, it’s Mom and Dad all over again!

                JENNA
Nah, he ain’t no zombie! Look at him! He’s fine!

(Kyle begins to behave like a zombie and slowly gets closer to Jenna)

              KYLE
               (YELLING IN A ZOMBIE VOICE)
Brains! Brains! Brains!

              

JENNA
Oh, ain’t that cute. He wants to name our three kids Brian. They’ll be fine sons!

(Kyle bites Jenna on the arm and Jenna screams)

               BRANDY
                (SCREAMING)
Oh my god! Jenna! Kyle bit you! You’ll turn into a zombie too! That’s it!

(Brandy grabs Jenna’s rifle and points it at Jenna and Kyle)

               JENNA
                 (SCREAMING)
Brandy! What are you doing? I feel fine! Don’t do anything crazy now!

              BRANDY
Oh, I’m going to do something crazy all right! Good-bye Jenna! And Kyle, I didn’t know you that well, so I could care less about how you feel!

              JENNA
               (CRYING)
No Brandy, don’t kill me!

(Brandy points the rifle at herself and shoots herself)

                 JENNA
                  (CRYING)
Brady, why did you shoot yourself? No! Damn it! My kid sister’s dead! Why does everyone I love die?

(Brandy slowly begins to get back up)

                  JENNA
Brandy! You’re alive! But I thought you done and killed yourself! How are you alive?

              
                BRANDY
                  (YELLING IN A ZOMBIE VOICE)
Brains! Brains! Brains!

    


                   JENNA
Oh shoot! By killing yourself you done and turned yourself into a zombie too! Wow, you really are a good…gee I ain’t feeling too good!

(Jenna passes out and when she gets back up, she has turned into a zombie)

                JENNA
                 (YELLING IN A ZOMBIE VOICE)
Brains!

  
               KYLE
                 (YELLING IN A ZOMBIE VOICE)
Brains!

                                    (The microwave dings)

             
BRANDY
                (YELLING IN A ZOMBIE VOICE)
Chili!

(Walter climbs down the ladder and enters the bomb shelter)
               
                   WALTER
Hello, my name is Walter! I saw your bomb shelter door was opened and I figured you were other survivors. Could I stay here with you?

                 BRANDY
                  (IN A ZOMBIE VOICE)
Chili!

                         
    KYLE
                  (IN A ZOMBIE VOICE)
Brains!

                  JENNA
                   (IN A ZOMBIE VOICE)
Chili, brains and Walter!

                WALTER
Uh oh!
                  (Blackout.)   




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